❰❰ KILLING TIME ! ✿
tommyinnit x fem!oc . . .
❝ i know when you're with
me, you're just killing
time ❞ in which iris and
tommy...
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iris didn't quite know what to say. she had always known in the back of her mind that tommy would be furious. he hated jack. so did iris, for a time. but in the past 2 weeks when they'd back together, he'd been lovely. completely different guy from the one who had broken her heart.
"tommy, i just-"
"he cheated on you, iris!" tommy didn't mean to raise his voice, but he couldn't help it.
"he didn't!" iris had her back pressed to the door, hands balled lightly around the hoodie to ground herself. "we were broken up when he started dating kayla."
"yeah, less than two week." tommy scoffed. "you guys had been dating for over a year. come on, iris, don't do this please."
"we're not dating!" she blurted out. "i only see him as a friend."
god. what a lie.
tommy could see right through her, but not in the way he first thought. he shook his head and stood up. "you deserve better." he said simply, opening the door gently to coax her out of the way. she barely moved, giving him just enough to slip through and shut it behind him.
no she didn't. not like this.
tommy walked back to his house with frustrated tears in his eyes, pulling his phone out to call ranboo before he'd even reached his front door.
"everything alright?" ranboo made eye contact with tubbo, the two of them well aware that tommy would have gone to see iris once he got home.
"why did she do it?" tommy said softly. he couldn't help but be angry at her, try as he might. "i know you've been talking, and she's avoiding me so why did she do it?"
"she's not okay, tommy," ranboo replied, dragging a hand down his face. "i don't know what's wrong with her, but she's struggling. she's talking to me but i can't get her to actually say anything."
"she can't just-" tommy sighed as he sat down harshly on his bed. "she can't just do that. she can't."
"i know tommy," ranboo moved closer to tubbo and put the phone on speaker. "it's definitely messed up, but i think her head is a mess right now. she's struggling."
"what about me?" tommy fell back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. he pointedly avoided looking sideways at the photo of him and iris. "why does she go to him?"
"we don't know, mate," tubbo chimed in, sympathy laced in his voice. "she's gotta work through whatever it is she's working through."
tommy knew that. tommy knew that iris wouldn't give jack another chance for no reason, and that there had to be something deeper there. but his heart couldn't get over the image of her in her bedroom. his jumper bunched up around her chest, hair messy and dark circles under her eyes. iris's room was never that dark. her curtains were drawn, the full length mirror on her wall had been covered up and the ache in his chest was suffocating.
his idea of iris and her idea of iris seemed to be two different things. he'd known that; he wasn't completely oblivious. he saw the way her eyes lingered on her own face when the two of them would brush their teeth at sleepovers. he saw the way her closed dwindled, old favourites being taken out of rotation due to the way she looked in them. tank tops and tight dresses slowly being replaced by hoodies in the middle of summer.
maybe that was his issue. his picture of iris in his head, was it completely unrealistic? did she know that? did she resent him for taking this idea of her and warping it to fit his own fantasy? tommy knew iris better than anyone else on the planet, if anyone had the right to love her it was him. but this, he couldn't figure out why.
did tommy truly love iris, or did he simply love the comfort and security she brought with her lack of public presence. freddie and eryn both made content now, she was his only close friend that didn't have her face plastered on articles and tweets.
even so, he still loved her, right? he was seventeen, he had no idea what exactly love was meant to feel like, but he couldn't let the idea of it go.
why had she done it?
iris didn't know. well, she knew bits and pieces, fragments of broken thoughts forming a path that cut her deeper the further she went down it. the image of herself disgusted her, recalling the way tommy's face contorted to into subtle anger at the sight of her.
if she truly loved jack, then there was no way that she loved tommy. those two feelings couldn't be categorised in anywhere near the same way. her journal was too far, she couldn't move off her bed. she could reach her guitar, though and pulled out her phone. she'd taken off jack's hoodie, but she couldn't bear the idea of her arms not being covered, so she'd shrugged on a different jumper before she hit record.
iriside •••
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Liked by shelbygraces and 34,202 others iriside crazy! by me! lyrics below
no one's ever made me feel so happy, remorseful, or so insecure oh god, you're everything i hate and everything i adore you said you like this one songwriter now i'm trying to write this song like her and no one's gonna love you like i do, now that much i know i am your morning cup of coffee, the light guiding you home oh, you're my medicine, my vice. you keep me up at night so tell me baby, am i crazy in love? or just crazy?
