LET GO (jujitsu Kaisen)

CHAPTER 12

"Can I at least love you from afar?"

................

"Is he okay?" Y/n asked, as she flip the silver lighter to lit up the cigarette in between her rosy lips.

"Yes, fortunately. Though he would need some time to fully recover." Shoko replied. She had seemed quite surprised when y/n had teleported in her cabin with a completely battered up Yuta. "What exactly happened?"

"I have no idea myself." The h/c muttered. "The curse were grade 2. It is strange how he ended up completely beat up. If I had step in any second late, I don't know if he would have make it out alive." She stood up from her seat. She had stayed awake the whole night while Shoko had attended to the boy. The bags under her eyes were a testament of it. She inhaled the last bit of the smoke before she tossed it on the garbage bin. Going in for another one to let out a groan to see an empty case of cigarette.

She had finished it.

Shoko watched her with a concern look. "Y/n, you should go take some rest. You have been up all night."

"Don't worry, senpai. I'm alright. I love working to my bones." She tossed the cigarette case in the trash can. "I should go get myself another pack."

"Y/n, do you think Suguru will be happy to know what you are doing to yourself?"

The h/c stopped in her steps. The corners of her lips curled up. "When did the happiness of the dead begin to matter?"

"I already have a weight of a dead one on me."

'Y/n, your mother did not give up her life for you to act this way. You are destined to marry the heir of the Gojo clan, so you better start getting your acts together. Don't make me hear another complain about your misconduct." Those have been his father's words to her when he had learned about her beef with Satoru. She had pushed the ten year old on a gutter. But he had been the one to provoke her into doing so.

"Do you understand, y/n?"

"Yes, papa." She stared down at her feet. The weight of her dead mother weighing down on her once again.

"I don't think I can carry the weight of another, Shoko senpai." She was at the ends of her breaking point. The grief over the loss of the love of her life, the stinging pain of betrayal from her childhood friend and the weight of her mother whose warmth she didn't even get to embrace. Not to forget, the higher ups did not add anymore relief to the burden she carried on her shoulders.

..........................

She plopped down on the bench. A box of canned beer on her hand. Maybe some liquor could help her put off her mind from what she had just committed.

She had made the curses immune to Yuta jujitsu through her manipulation technique. Rendering the black haired student helpless.

She opened a can of the beer and gulped down the liquor like it was a soft drink. However, it failed to quench her thirst unlike the bloody sight of her student which filled the insatiable thirst of vengeance sprouting in her heart. She crack open another can and took a sip, her mind replaying the scene over and over again.

"y/n sensei." he appeared relieved as he collapse into her arms.

She could have left him there to die. The higher ups would not have had any problem with it considering they wanted to execute him from the start. However, she saved him and acted like his saviour. When , in fact, she had not saved him out of goodness of her heart but for a more sinister reason.

The desire to break him over and over again till there was nothing left of him but an empty vessel.

A living dead.

"Y/n." A familiar voice called out, pulling her out of her thought. She looked up to meet the image of her stiff former classmate, Kento Nanami. He gazed down at her. Appearing almost like a disappointed parent who had caught his child drinking red handed. It made her shuffle a laugh.

"Kento-kun. Would you like to join?" She scooted making space for him to seat on the bench.

"Don't be ridiculous, y/n." He replied, scrunching his nose in displeasure. Yet his eyes gleamed with concern. "Have you lost your mind, drinking in the school premises. It's a punishable offence."

Her grin dropped and a nostalgic look crossed her visage. "You haven't change one bit, Kento-kun." The man had always being a law abiding citizen, too uptight for his own good. He had left the jujitsu tech for a while too to live a normal life. However, sorcerers like them could never have the privilege and luxury to live a normal life. So, here he was back to the place he left behind.

"You even seem more uptight." She commented, placing the can back on the box. Her lips pulled up in a grin once more. "How about we go get a drink somewhere else then? We have a lot of catching up to do. It feels like ages since I last saw you."

"I'd pass on that."

"How mean? You wound me, Kento-kun." She fanned a hurt look, placing her hand on her heart. She was beginning to remind him of her fiancé who never failed to get on his last straw.

"And haven't you just return from a mission?" He inquired, staring down at her, starting to feel the frustration build up within him as he noticed the bags under her eyes and the faint scent of cigarette on her clothes. "And when did you start smoking, y/n?"

"Yes, mother. I just returned from my mission." She answered, her eyes shifting to the side. He always nagged her like a mother. As unexpected as it was, he was the mom friend among three of them. She clearly recalled the nagging she and Haibara would receive after every mischief. 

"Then you better go get some rest instead of drinking out here in the campus."

She pursed her lips. "Give me a break. I'm already so tired I can barely stay awake." She laid down on the bench, letting out a few tired groans making her acquaintances eye twitch in annoyance and pure frustration.

"Y/n..."

"Y/n..." this time he called out in a firm tone.

"Now what is it?" She opened one of her eyes eyes. "Didn't you tell me to take some rest?"

Nanami pinched the bridge of his nose. "Not in here."

"I don't have the energy to walk. I'm so exhausted." She closed her eyes once again. "If it bothers you so much why don't you carry me back to my apartment. It's just a few blocks away. Not a big deal for a well built man like you."