Forbidden |18+

Guilt-eaten

Luana's POV

I finished telling Jess everything she had listened to me quietly without interrupting  which was very unnerving cause Jess's never I finished she was still quiet opening her mouth then closing it.

"Say something Jess" I groaned.

"I'm still digesting all you just told me like really did you go clubbing without me" she said like she couldn't believe it yet.

"Really? Of everything I just told you that's all you heard or what-?"

"I'm offended okay? But really do you realise you slept with some guy the day before your engagement party."

"I know but it happened there's something about that guy that made me throw everything through the window."

Jess laughed hard at that see this is my bestie never takes anything seriously.

"Do you even know how you sound right now? Now how was it"she asked with a wink which had me grinning like a fool at the thoughts of last night.

"That good, huh?" She laughed harder.

And my phone rang somewhere in the living room I went to fetch it and it was my mom I picked up and her loving voice.

"Mornin' sweetie" I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Mornin' mámá" I walk back to the kitchen.

"How are u feeling darling your dad thinks you might get cold feet" she snorts.

"Kat stop using me as the scapegoat you know you're the worried one not me " I heard dad chuckling in the background which made me smile.

I've always admired the relationship of my parents they had been in love with each other from since they could remember and even today their still stands strong and I really want to for myself growing old and everything it's just that I don't see Tian being "the one" I keep telling myself that it's probably the cold feet.

"I'm fine mámá when are you guys landing?"

"Probably this late afternoon we'll go straight to the hotel so we'll meet you at the party will you fine on your own?"

"Of course mom I'm a grown ass woman remember?"

"Yeah it's just that I can't believe you grew up so quickly seems like yesterday you were making your first steps and now you're marrying" I could feel her almost crying she was really emotional and I was the exact opposite. Emotions made me wanna run to the other end of the world.

"Mom please don't cry" I plead.

" It's nothing honey,  just know I'm happy for you Sebastian is a good man who will take care of you he's the man for you."

Is he?I wasn't sure anymore.

"Bye mom take care" I needed to start preparing for tonight.

"See you honey."

Scrolling through my phone I saw I had 24 missed calls from Tian and some worried texts the last one wishing me a quick recovery probably believing I had a serious headache.

A pang of guilt surged in my chest Tian really didn't deserve this a cheating fiance him that was everything a woman could ask for.

Handsome, rich, gentle and patient , respectful and loving.

So what the hell was wrong we weren't married yet and I had already cheated on him.

I had met Tian in my freshman of high school while he was a junior it was love at first sight then.

He went to sturdy the varsity in Italy where he spent almost six years he came back thirteen months ago handsome as ever we got back together then one month ago he proposed and I couldn't help but feel like things had a changed or maybe I had changed cause I didn't want to settle this soon and moreover I felt like something was missing and it was probably because me and Tian lacked the soul-consuming passion, the drama, the spontaneity.

Things  with Tian had turned simply plain and planned which had me fall out of the idea of spending the rest of my life like that.

Ugh. What am  even I thinking Tian is the one and I probably cold feet.

As if on cue my phone rang and it was him.

I dreaded this cause I knew I'd be lying to him more which I hated because believe it or not I was all in for honestly in all honesty.

"Morning beautiful" his deep voice sounded at the other end and I caught myself comparing it to the stranger's deeper one.

I pushed those thoughts away those thoughts scolding myself for acting like a horny teenager.

"Morning handsome" I said remembering why I had fell in love with this guy.

"How u feelin' heard you had an hectic day at work yesterday." I could hear the concern in his voice increasing my guilt.

"No I'm fine yesterday just had lots of shoots I could barely stand at the end of the day." And it was the truth just not the whole truth and that was why I went clubbing wanted to get things off my mind.

"Just called to check up on you I'm at work and loads of work waiting for me so talk to you later."

"Yeah I also need to get ready see you tonight?"

"Yeah see and wait- you know I love you and I can't wait to have as my wife" he said and right there I wished the world would open up and swallow me whole cause I was a lying cheating bitch and this man right here didn't deserve any of it.

"I love you too" and I really did but at this moment I was really confused.

Jess came up from behind me and hugged me.

"You know you could still back down from this right?"

"I don't think I can do that plus I know Tian is good for me."

She was look at me skeptically probably wondering if I was convincing her or myself and I didn't know either and she probably could see through me.

"Now I've booked us two hour full at the  spa now let's get ready."

Twenty minutes later we were in my Porsche heading to the spa I really hoped it would help me get to think clearly.