FAR FROM ERIS • FreenBecky •

TWENTY - NINE

Online.

Freen had read those two words at least a hundred times in the hours she had spent in bed staring at her phone screen. Becky was online, but hadn't replied to her, and she wasn't sure if she was angry, anxious, or simply hurt in her pride for finally deciding to write to her and now being left on read after a question.

But Freen knew they weren't fifteen anymore. Maybe Becky had had to circle twenty times to find parking and had come home angry with the universe, or she had walked in and suddenly felt the urgent need to eat some cereal and completely forgot about her phone, or maybe she had simply had enough of Freen for a weekend. Of course, she was going to think that, even with absolutely all the signs indicating otherwise, her brain was going to sabotage any attempt at excitement she might feel. Because Becky couldn't be interested in her. Because she was defective.

Wasn't she?

She scolded herself for being so silly, convincing herself that it didn't matter, and that it was most likely that Becky had simply fallen asleep as soon as she got into bed, exhausted from the trip. But then why was she online?

Becky had been staring at the illuminated screen of her phone for a very long time. She knew what she wanted to reply, but she also knew that any misstep with Freen could cause the girl to retreat. And the truth was, she didn't want that to happen. She had finally managed to break through a huge barrier with her, and she didn't want to scare her off. But leaving her on read? Really, Becky?

Freen didn't know how long she had been awake, but she did know that she had seen several hours pass on the clock before sleep finally overcame her. After waiting a long time, she ended up assuming that Becky must have fallen asleep, so she put down her phone and closed her eyes trying to minimize the flow of emotions she was feeling, until she finally fell asleep.

When she woke up, the light was timidly peeking through the half-closed blinds of her bedroom. She knew she hadn't slept much, she felt it in the heaviness of her eyelids. For five or ten seconds she felt herself floating in the semiconsciousness that wakefulness offered her, but that feeling lasted only as long as it took her to remember the conversation with Becky. She put a forearm over her eyes as she sighed -Freen, we agreed that these things didn't affect you anymore, what are you doing- she scolded herself. She picked up her phone almost automatically, what time could it be? Probably too early to be up on a Monday when she didn't have to go to work. She turned on the screen with one eye still half closed due to the brightness and then she saw it. She had a message from Becky.

**