FAR FROM ERIS • FreenBecky •

FIFTY - TWO

-🎶-

-Not a single message, not a call. Nothing,- said Becky, sitting on the bookstore's couch. -Two days. It's been two days and I haven't heard a thing from her.-

-Nam told you she was fine and at home- replied Irin, while finishing packing some books into the boxes that needed to be taken to the festival stand. -I told you Freen can be like this sometimes.-

-I just don't understand- Becky said, lowering her gaze. -I haven't gone to look for her because I feel like she really doesn't want anything to do with me. And it's eating me up inside.-

-Give her time. I'm sure Freen will eventually come back from wherever her mind has wandered off to- said Irin, sitting beside her. -Come on, cheer up.- She nudged Becky's shoulder. -Did you know I had a crush on her when I first met her?-

Becky's eyes widened in surprise. -Yes. But it didn't last long, don't worry. I mean, I do have eyes in my face, you know? It's Freen.- That comment managed to make Becky laugh. -But no, she wasn't my type.-

-And how did you come to that conclusion?- Becky asked.

-Because one day, she came up to the counter when I was about to close and asked me if I'd mind reading the first chapters of something she was writing,- Irin explained.

-She let you read something from 'Far from Eris' before it was finished?- Becky was amazed.

-At that time, she held me in high literary esteem,- Irin said, rolling her eyes -or rather, I think she had no one else to ask for an impartial opinion.- Becky smiled again. -The point is, I got quite excited because I thought Freen was finally trying to flirt with me, but nothing could be further from the truth- she added, rolling her eyes again. -I read the first five chapters of her book, and I knew Freen was already in love with someone.-

Becky's skin tingled when Irin said those words. -But the book doesn't really deal with a romantic relationship. Why did you think that?- she asked curiously.

-Because that book is a love letter to someone. It's a profound declaration of loyalty. And the way the protagonist talks to the water, asking it to please give her back what she lost...Well, if someone asked about me like that, believe me, I'd cling on with all of me- Irin laughed. -I knew she was totally in love with someone, or the idea of someone after all. And Freen seemed so sure of it... I remember looking into her eyes and really feeling like she was waiting for something. Or maybe someone,- she sighed. -Maybe she was waiting for you.-

Becky sighed. She wanted to tell Irin what was going on, she wanted to be honest and say that yes, Freen had been waiting for her all along without even knowing it. But how could she explain it? -I'd like to think she was waiting for me, really,- she said, her eyes clouding again, shaking her head several times to try to make that emotion fade away. -But now I don't know what to think anymore.-

-Maybe you don't have to think about anything- said Irin. -Give it some time while she comes back down to earth. Tomorrow is the open mic night, are you going to participate?- she asked.

-No, no,- Becky hurried to answer. -I don't think I could sing even if I wanted to.-

-Hey, who knows, maybe it'll be good for you to let out something you've been holding inside, isn't that what singer-songwriters do?- she shrugged.

-It's been ages since I wrote a song- Becky said, shaking her head. -I don't think anything interesting will come out now.-

-You could try. Sometimes drama is a good source of inspiration- Irin joked. -No rush, I don't need you to confirm if you're going to perform or not. You're VIP- she grinned.

-Thanks, I guess,- Becky smiled. -And really, thanks for this. I needed a chat.-

-Don't mention it, now go compose something sad and heart-wrenching that'll make the audience cry- Irin got up and squeezed Becky's shoulder in support.

Freen had spent two days locked at home, with her cat for company. Nam wanted to stay with her, but after swearing that she would respond to her messages whenever she wrote, her friend agreed to give her space by staying at Heng's house. The guy had also tried to talk to her, but Heng knew Freen's less accessible side and understood that in a few days, she would be the one wanting to talk.

She hadn't slept much; every time she closed her eyes, images of Becky letting go of the bridge railing would appear as vivid as if her brain had reconstructed them in high definition. Now that she had all the information, she would have preferred to never remember, because the existence of those two completely opposite realities in her mind was tearing her apart.

Freen's mind kept crafting theories about that night, and since she got home, her main occupation had been browsing the internet for information on interdimensional travel, parallel universes, and wormholes. Everything she found was crazy, but she couldn't deny that there was a scientific basis backing the possibility that all that crazy mishmash of information could, in some way, be real. Still, she knew that on the internet, anything was possible. She sighed, and Sam looked at her with narrowed eyes. -I'm sorry- Freen apologized to her cat. -I'm a bit overwhelmed.-

She hadn't been able to establish any kind of contact with Becky, not because she didn't want to; her body just froze at the thought of seeing her because right now, the only thing her mind could replay on a loop with her face was the night on the bridge. She had seriously considered hitting her head to see if she could make those images disappear, but she would probably end up in the hospital without having achieved anything. -I wish I could forget everything- she thought. -I wish I could go back to the day of the torrential rain and start over from there, without any memories trying to sneak into my head.- Her phone buzzed, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Irin Work: 14:14

Hey, missing person. Tonight, we have the open mic night and stargazing event, just reminding you. I know you're either turned off or out of signal but I need you to stop being a satellite and come back down to earth. We miss you.

Freen read the message several times. She didn't want to leave the house. At home, she was safe, and going out implied a series of risks she wasn't sure she could handle. For starters, running into Becky or Patty, or simply having her legs paralyzed by fear and not being able to make it back home. That feeling was familiar to her, and she hated it. She was supposed to have left behind all those words that accompanied her depression. That endless list of names that justified Freen's behavior and that she had been crossing out with great effort. But the mere idea of going out made her stomach churn as if a bucket of cold water had spilled down her esophagus. Sam looked at her with his yellow eyes. -Don't judge me, Sam. You never leave the house and seem pretty happy,- she said, looking at her cat, who actually seemed to be evaluating her behavior. And then, the feline got up from the cushion where he was sleeping next to Freen's desk and climbed onto the bed, lying down on the pillow where Becky always slept. Freen sighed. 

-I know. I miss her so much too.-

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