FAR FROM ERIS • FreenBecky •

THIRTY - SIX

Becky had spent the whole afternoon sitting on the steps leading to her grandmother's house. The funeral had ended a few hours ago, and after saying goodbye to Patty, she wasn't sure where to go anymore. There was nowhere to call home, so she went to the only place her heart identified as such; although without her grandmother, it no longer felt like home.

She understood that life begins and ends. That we are not eternal, even though we believe we are. That we deceive our brains every day to avoid being fully aware that we have an expiration date written since the day we were born, and yet, no rational thought made her feel an ounce of relief.

It was getting dark and starting to get chilly, so she put on her grandmother's red plaid shirt that Patty had given her at the cemetery, and she stood up without a fixed destination. She simply started walking slowly, hoping her steps would take her to someplace that would make her feel better. She had been walking for several minutes when she arrived at the bridge. The water sounded fierce below that metal swarm crossing the city, and something about the sound of the river hitting the iron beneath her feet drew her to the railing. -Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all,- she thought, -I could have ended up anywhere, and look, here I am.-

Her brain was on autopilot when she saw herself swinging her legs over the bridge railing until she was seated, looking at the river. She took a deep breath a couple of times, thinking about what her grandmother would say if she saw her. She would probably tell her to go home and make herself a hot chocolate. That hot chocolate fixed almost every problem, after all. But Becky liked her grandmother's chocolate, or Patty's if necessary, because that was the chocolate that fixed everything.

She was lost in her thoughts when she heard a light bulb explode at one end of the bridge, and for a few seconds, the startle blinded her. As if her brain had changed frequency, even the river sounded different. Calmer. Maybe that was a sign that her heart should also calm down after exploding. Becky was anxious to find a metaphysical meaning to anything that happened to her, in order to find direction. And then she heard a voice.

-Um... hello?- It was a girl. -Are you okay?-

Becky didn't respond. She didn't even turn around. She really didn't feel like explaining to anyone what she was doing on that bridge.

-Hey... do you need help?- the girl insisted. -What's your name? I'm Freen, by the way.- But Becky still didn't know what to say to her.

-I like your shirt- the girl continued, seeming to want to talk about anything.

If it had been the other way around and Becky had found someone in that same situation, she probably would have tried to strike up a conversation to avoid the inevitable, so she didn't blame her. In fact, it made her feel a bit tender.

-It was my grandmother's- she finally spoke. -She used to wear it to read science fiction books.-

-Oh yeah?- Freen replied, somewhat surprised. -I didn't know people wore uniforms for reading now. I like it.-

-Tell that to Patty, who came up with the idea,- Becky said with a sad smile, still not turning around.

-And who's Patty?- Freen didn't seem ready to abandon that conversation.

-Her best friend. And practically mine, even though she's almost eighty- Becky shook her head while half-smiling. -But well, she's not here either, so...-

-Well, but I imagine if she was such a good friend of your grandmother and you, she must love you a lot, right?-

-I guess- Becky sighed -although I don't know what good that would do me right now.-

There was a long silence, which Freen only wished to fill so that the girl wouldn't fall back into her own thoughts.

-Um... this... Becky- Freen said cautiously -I don't know why you're there like that. I imagine something must have happened, or something is happening inside you. And believe me, I'm the least suitable person to give advice because I spent months going out just to walk my dog to avoid running into my ex-

She heard something that could have been Becky's laughter, -but let me tell you, everything passes. There's nothing that destroys us today that won't be just a memory in time. And I'm sure that even if you don't believe it, life goes on.-

-I don't know...- Becky spoke, still looking at the river. -I don't know if life, as it is now, is worth it.-

-Of course it's worth it,- Freen replied. -And do you know why?-

-Why?- Becky said, finally turning her body to face Freen's huge brown eyes, who shivered in a white tank top.

-Because hot chocolate still exists. Do you feel like having one?-

**