rubatosis

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ru-ba-tosis
( n. ) the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat, whose tenuous muscular throbbing feels less like a metronome than a nervous ditty your heart is tapping to itself, the kind that people compulsively hum or sing while walking in complete darkness, as if to casually remind the outside world, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

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ranjish hi sahi dil hi dukhane ke liye aa
aa phir se mujhe chod ke jaane ke liye aa
let it be anguish, even to torture my heart, come
come even if only to abandon me to torment again.

pehle se marasim na sahi phir bhi kabhi to
rasm-o-reh.e.duniya hi nibhane ke liye aa
come, if not for our past commerce,
then to faithfully fulfill the ancient barbaric rituals.

kis kis ko bataayenge judaaii ka sabab hum
tu mujh se kafa hai to zamane ke liye aa
how many people will I explain my grief to?
if you are mad at me,
come just for the sake of this world.

kuch to mere pindaar-e-muhabbat ka bharam rakh
tu bhi kabhi mujh ko manane ke liye aa
respect, even if only a little, the depth of my love for you;
come, someday, to offer me consolation as well.

ek umr se hoon lazzat-e-giriya se bhi mehroom
aye raahat-e-jaan mujh ko rulaane ke liye aa
too long you have deprived me of the pathos of longing;
come again, my love, if only to make me weep.

ab tak dil-e-khush faham ko tujh se hain ummiiden
ye aakhri shamme bhi bhujaane ke liye aa
till now, my heart still suffers some slight expectation;
so come, snuff out even the last flickering torch of hope!

maana ki muhabbat ka chupaana hai muhabbat
chupke se kisi roz jataane ke liye aa
agreed, silencing your love is the real form of love
some day, come to silently express your love.

jaise tujhe aate hain na aane ke bahaane
aise hi kisi roz na jaane ke liye aa
the way you find excuses to not come,
some day, come with an excuse to stay forever.
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S Y N O P S I S

Darya Safdar Ameen was nothing more than an ordinary girl with dreams as bright as the sun itself. However, being born in a family that treated women worse than the dust beneath their shoes her hopes and aspirations crumbled to nothing. Her way out was to marry Zaryab Ahmed Khan, the only man she loved since she had gained senses.

Five years down the road, Darya now wants a divorce from the said husband. She stood at a crossroad, torn between the desire to give herself and the baby growing in her womb a perfect life she had only ever imagined or cling to the shattered remnants of her marriage that was plagued with toxicity, sacrificing her respect.

A series of tragedies, conservative rules, manipulative in-laws and a husband that has now started to understand the dynamics that caused the downfall of their once happy marriage, refusing to let her go.

As the birth of their baby draws near, Darya is left to make a choice so crucial that it ties the lives of many by a single string.

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note

This story is going to be very unlike the previous stories in this book. The characters are severely flawed and you will not find this to be an easy read in comparison.

Unlike all my green carpet Male Leads, you will severely dislike even hate Zaryab. He isn't meant to make you swoon but is a mirror reality of all the men I have seen in life.

This story will also contain mature themes and will end up becoming frustrating to read. I am giving a fair disclaimer warning here because i know a lot of people are going to be triggered. I would appreciate constructive criticism but no hate comments.

I wanted to experiment with writing a character I as a reader will hate morally and hopefully i will deliver that.

Parallel to You is on hold until i upload an epilogue, and this story will start only when i am done with the epilogue so please remain patient and let me know how you like the synopsis!
Meanwhile i would appreciate it if you checked out my other books. Thank you.

~flawfully

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⏰ Last updated: May 02 ⏰

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