My Own Personal Sun [A Jacob Black Story]

My Own Personal Sun [A Jacob Black Story] {Part 1}

JACOB’S POINT OF VIEW:

            I’d been running for months. Running from the pain, from the suffering, from the heartbreak.

            My wolf form made it easier. It helped me forget my silly human worries, my stupid human pain. It was just me and my instincts—I ate, I slept, I ran. I had no destination—I just kept going, for the sake of going. The pain began to fade. I forgot what Bella’s face looked like; eventually, I stopped trying to remember.

            It had been months since I’d been back home. I missed everyone deeply—especially Billy, but I wasn’t positive the pain would stay away with all the lovely reminders around. I’d have to make sure to stay away from the beach, where me and Bella liked to talk about things; my garage, where we hung out lots; the cliff, where Bella dove off, and anywhere else that somehow brought back those memories of the beautiful girl who didn’t choose me, and choose a bloodsucker instead.

            I supposed a nice visit back in La Push would work for a while, and then I would leave once the pain really began to sink in again. I’d have to get used to being a full time wolf all over again, but that really didn’t bother me—I mean, I have forever to do so.

            Quickly, I pushed back on my back paws, then turned, running in the opposite direction, back to my home, back to my past, back to the pain.

***********************

            I walked up the steps, tugging on my shorts at the same time. It felt weird getting dressed, because I was so unused to it.

            Opening the door, I stepped into my house; nothing changed, even a little bit. Billy’s deep, musky scent was all over the house, and I could hear him in the kitchen—he hadn’t seemed to notice me, yet. I turned the corner, going to stand by him; he was reaching for something in the top shelf, and couldn’t reach it, nearly tipping over his wheelchair.

            “Dad,” I muttered, “Have you had this much trouble the whole time I was gone?”

            Billy’s head snapped to me, and his eyes were wide; a grin spread across his wise face, so indescribably happy that a smile flashed onto my lips, too.

            “Jacob! Jacob, you’re home!” He howled, rolling over to me. “Jake, I missed you.”

            I leaned down, wrapping my arms around him. “I missed you, too, Dad.”

            He leaned back, the grin still on his face. “You back permanently?”

            My gaze dropped to the floor. “Uh,” I scratched the back of my head, “No. Well…I don’t know, really.”

            Billy nodded, his smile fading. “Just don’t take so long until you come back, okay?”

            “Gotcha.”

            He gazed at my bare chest. “You’re skinny.”

            I glanced down at my stomach; I was still muscular—thanks to the werewolf thing, but I was a lot smaller. “Yeah. No Emily cookin’ for me out there.”

            Billy rolled over to the phone. “I’ll call her—she’s been bugging me every day since you left, asking if you called or anything.”

            I smiled. “Good to hear I was missed.”

            “Yeah. Seth was pretty bored without you around—you should go see him.”

            “I’ll wait until Leah’s gone,” I said sourly.

            Ugh—Leah.

 

            Billy smirked. “You hungry? There’s pizza in the fridge.”

            I opened the fridge as Billy called Emily, grabbing three slices of pizza and eating them cold.

            I could hear a shrieking voice on the other side of the phone line; Billy held it out to me, and I took it, not caring if my mouth was full of food.

            “Hello?” I murmered, trying to speak clearly with my mouth full.

            “Jacob—you’re really back!” Emily cried, then I heard her yell over her shoulder, “Quil, Embry! Guess whose in town?”

            I smirked. “I missed you too, Emily.”

            “Get over here, Jake. Now. I need to see you—it’s been so long!”

            I sighed. “Fine, fine. Make cookies.”

            “Deal.”

            I hung up the phone, nodding at Billy. “You wanna come to Emily’s? She’s makin’ cookies.”

            He shook his head. “Naw, you go ahead. I’m headin’ over to Sue’s, actually…”

            “Tell her I said hi.”

            “Will do.” He glanced down, then back to me. “Jake, I’m really glad you’re back.”

            “Me too.” I stated, trying not to sound like a zombie.

            Deep down, I could already feel the memories flooding back, along with the pain and heartbreak. I could feel myself get crabbier by the second. This wasn’t going to be easy.

            I didn’t feel like myself. I wasn’t quite the same as I was before the whole Bella thing—I don’t think I ever would be the same.

            I was older, in ways. Or, maybe that was just the pain talking…but, I definitely wasn’t the same person. I used to be fun, and laugh, and prank and joke—but now, all I did was feel empty. Like Bella had drained the life out of me, and I was missing something.

            I just felt hollow.