Chapter 19 - The Journey Pt. 2

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"The journey works both ways. To and from. From and to. We travel in a constant way always returning to where we began."

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The Lake.
It seemed to define the landscape of the Mountain Pass Trail. Erudessa had never seen this part of it. She and Brynn seemed to take the least scenic route compared to this. It was almost disappointing. She looked over at Edwin as he let his horse take a drink. She maneuvered her horse over to the water beside him. Her horse drank while she mustered the courage to talk. They hadn't spoke since the evening before when she asked him not to talk because she needed some time to let her heart calm. He had asked her if she wanted to leave, but in wasn't even a full conversation as all she could do was nod. It was embarrassing.

Before she could say anything though, he spoke. "Did I do something wrong?"

Her heart ached looking at his hurt expression. "No, no. Definitely not. I've just been anxious lately. It's funny because before I couldn't even grasp the concept of anxiety and now it seems to be consuming me. I'm just a little worried and I need quiet to calm myself down."

He smiled comfortingly. "I get that."

"It's nothing against you."

Silence feel between them for a moment as if they both knew what they wanted to say, but couldn't bring themselves to speak the words. Erudessa wondered how long it would take them to get back. It took six days with Brynn, but Edwin's horse wasn't as slow or old as Brynn's horse. That could travel at a much faster rate. There was no chance of cutting the time in half, but there was a chance of making it four days. That was of course, unless they took more time.

Erudessa wouldn't mind. The longer she spent alone on the road with Edwin, the better. She would evade Grimm as long as possible. Who better to spend the time with than the one person she had a future with at the time. It was weird to think that at the end of three months she would possibly be thinking about her wedding, planning it in fact. That or she will have lost another love. She didn't want that though. They had something, and that something didn't mean nothing.

They started moving again when their horses were done drinking and it was evident neither could manage the words they wanted to speak. Edwin seemed so composed on a normal occasion, but that afternoon, he seemed tense and nervous. Maybe it was the pressure of this, "two month stay in Raecasta to see if you'll fall in love and make an alliance" thing. Erudessa knew she felt the pressure. It didn't seem likely someone would be able to fall in love under pressure, but maybe that was the truest test of love. If you could love someone no matter how long you had with them, that was something real. In a way, it was romantic.

The days would stretch on before them, and Erudessa knew that the days would somehow feel so short whether she enjoyed her time alone with Edwin or not. There was just something about him that made time fly by. But then there were times when time slowed down. She saw every detail, heard every breath, and felt every inch of contact. Sometimes, she feared how their relationship would evolve, but more than that, she feared falling in love with him. Once that happened, there truly was no going back.

She had fallen in love once before. This is where it had gotten her, riding back from a stupid mission with someone she had to see a future with. It was so strange, but in a way, felt right. Maybe this was fate. She just didn't know what to listen to her heart, her head, or her gut. In the past, she could always figure out which would get her into the best situation, but now, every decision seemed either wrong or right. There was no way for her to figure out which way to go.

Was that what love did when you lose it? Wreck everything in your life until you find it again? It seemed like it was all one big joke. Something to torment her as she sat in silence over the next few days. 

She glanced over at Edwin. His hair seemed to shine in the sunlight. His eyes were as green as the grass at their feet. There was something so intriguing about him. Something that made her want to know him better. There wasn't much left to know about him. He was raised to be king and was good at it. Simple as that. If his brother failed, he became king.

The day seemed like it would stretch on forever, and the silence was killing Erudessa. She gave her horse a kick and rode faster, hoping to gain more distance before nightfall. 

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Night came with no surprises beforehand. Edwin didn't seem in a very talkative mood after they finished dinner and went straight to sleep. Erudessa watched him for a while, running her fingers along the hilt of her dagger. She remembered the day she got it. Seven years ago, when Rowe found out that she was officially in the assassination business, he had the finest blacksmith in the kingdom make it for her. Ever since she had carried it with her. It had taken so many lives and put so many scars in her back. But, now, it just reminded her of him.

Pulling it out of its sheath, she threw it into the ground before her. It entered the ground and stuck out. Erudessa crossed her arms behind her head and laid back, staring at the stars past the trees above her. Most of the trees had thought almost all of their leaves at this point. Only the few lingering ones remained and would probably fall of sometime into winter which was less than a week away. It was be winter by the time they got back.

Her eyes grew heavy as she gazed up at the stars. A yawn escaped her mouth, and without thinking, her eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep. A strange dream entangling her mind. She was in a dark room. Portraits lined the walls. Each was of the members of the Royal Families of the Five Realms. She saw herself in one, but she didn't recognize. It wasn't a royal family, but wealthy nobles. 

The man, who was head of the household, had orange-red hair that was graying and kind green eyes while the woman, his wife, had mysterious blue eyes and brunette hair. Both were fair skinned like the rest of the family. A girl with the same orange-red hair as the man stood between them. She was shorter than the man, but taller than the mother. 

Sitting in front of those three was Erudessa and a girl who looked exactly like her, Cornelia. This was a family portrait, her family portrait if her parents would still alive. The older girl must be Regalia. She resembled Reyna slightly, but it couldn't be her. There were noticeable difference. The girls her was too dark to be Reyna. At least, it seemed that way.

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Erudessa woke up the next morning eager to be moving on again. Something about her dream spooked her far more than anything else ever had. It was strange to see what her family would like if everyone had survived. If everyone was alive together. It brought tears to her eyes as she thought about it, but she quickly blinked them away and rode off with Edwin like nothing happened.

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