Save Me (Love Me series: book 2)

What If

Tris's POV
Tobias's eyes widen in shock after I say that. He tries taking my hand, but I pull back. His expression becomes angry. "Do you really think that I'd do that with her?" He asks in a whisper so the boys can't hear us.
"I don't know," I say, looking at the ground. "I didn't think you'd sleep with someone else when you were writing letters about how you felt towards me. You said you loved me and still had sex with Veronica. Don't get me wrong, I love Damion so much, but it still hurts that you-never mind."
He scuffs and walks into the living room and sits with the boys, plastering a smile on his face. My heart is beating faster than I would like it too, making my chest hurt my ears ring.
I set the spoon down on the counter and sprint into the room, closing the room. Tears run down my face. What if Marcus was right when he said that I wasn't enough to keep Tobias pleased. What if Evelyn was right when she said Tobias wouldn't sit and wait for me to return without trying to find something better. What is Edgar was right when he said I wasn't enough for him body wise.
My body slides down the wall as I cry silently so Tobias or the boys can't hear me. I sob violently, covering my mouth with my hand. Lately I've been wishing I hadn't choose Dauntless and just stayed in Abnegation. None of this would be happening. I would probbaky would have married Robert and lived a calm, easy life.
But I would have never met Tobias and fell madly in love. I would have never had Jax or Arden. Damion would have never came into my life. Tobias would be with someone else, happier with someone else.
I take deep breaths, trying to can myself down, so I can go back to cooking dinner. As I stand, my knees shake, threatening to give out. I look myself in the mirror, wipe my tears, and go back out, not looking over at Tobias.
××××××
I rock Arden back and forth in my arms as I sit on the edge of the bed. I'm tired from crying and over thinking. She looks up at me with eyes I can tell will be my color of blue/grey.
"Hi, princess," I say. She gives me a small smile. "I love you so much, no matter what."
×××××××
I lay on my side of the bed, fat from the middle. Tobias comes out of the bathroom in grey sweats and nothing else really. I look away when he sees me looking. I shouldn't be scared to look at my own husband. He says down on the edge, his elbows in his knees.
"I screwed up when I slept with Veronica. In all honesty, I didn't know vow drunk in was until we found out about Damion. When you were gone, I didn't sleep with Nita. She made more moves on me, but I never gave in. I looked for you and took care of the kids, that's all. She's trying to break us apart for some reason. I would never do that to you."
I sit up and pull my knees to my chest, looking at his bare back. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we hadn't kissed that day in the Chasm?" I ask him. He looks over at me.
"No, I don't like to think what I'd be like if that hadn't happened," he says. "You look tired." I laugh sarcastically.
"I'm so tired," I say. "But its not the kind that can go away with sleep or resting." He stands and comes over to my side. He bends and kisses my forehead.
"I love you, Beatrice. Get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning, love." I look up at him as he makes his way to his side and lays down. I live closer to him and kiss his Dauntless symbol. He turns over so he's facing me.
I run my fingers through his hair and rest my forehead against his. "Thank you, Tobias." His eyes search mine.
"For what?"
"Everything."

AN: Sorry for the slow updated I'm trying to gather ideas cause goshdamn I'm clueless lately. Comment your thoughts. Be brave 🔪🔪🔪 -Veah