CHAPTER 4: Wow! I Feel Like A Dick!!

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<<ETHAN>>

        Wow. I didn't expect to hear her say that. Now I feel like a dick. Which I am one and I shouldn't care since I never do.

         Except with her, I felt bad. I didn't want to upset her, which behind her jokes and everything, I know that's just a mask she hides behind rather than show her true feelings.

        How do I know? Cause I do the same thing with mine. Except for that I fuck a different girl every night and drink away my feelings.

         I felt people looking at me after the laughter died down and could tell they were  calling me a douche. Which I was.

        Then suddenly, Victoria stands up and grabs her plate and glass and excuses herself while also taking everyone else's plates and clearing the table. Including  mine.

        Then, to break up the awkward silence, Damien says, "Well, I guess, no bonfire tonight? Or should we wait until tomorrow night?"

        I let out a breath and stand up to head inside and try to apologize to Victoria. Cause I truly and really do feel bad.

       As I place my plate and empty beer bottle onto the counter, I noticed that she had washed her dishes and set them onto the drying rack that's next to the sink.

        I then hear the shower water running upstairs coming from hers and Beca's room.

        So I begin to head upstairs and lightly knock on the bedroom door that is opened a little bit already and start to cautiously look inside for her but don't see her. So then I start walking towards the bathroom door and right as I get there, I open the door a little bit as I see her in the shower wetting her hair. I watch as the water falls onto her body and her breasts. (Yes, I said breasts because I still say she does have two.) And I see that she's beautiful. Her curves, love handles, the small rolls on her back and the little bit of belly she has, she's beautiful.

         Wait. What the hell am I saying? I shouldn't be thinking this way about her. What the fuck?

         Instantly my thoughts are interrupted when I hear a loud gasp coming from her. Shit, she's out of the shower and she saw me. Great way to apologize by now making her think I'm a pervert.

         I start to back away when she opens the door quickly and she starts to shout.

         "What the hell are you doing in my room? Get out!" She yells. Which I don't know why, but damn she was sexy and cute as fuck when she was mad.

          I couldn't help but I eye rape her while looking her up and down in a towel and her wet hair on her shoulders.

         Suddenly, I don't know why, maybe the asshole in me that I'm used to being like, especially around girls, just came out.

         "Hey, I was just coming to apologize for what I said downstairs. Geez. Guess I wasted my time." I said while turning around to start walking out.

         "You could have at least knocked first." She tells me.

         "I did. You didn't answer. You were in the shower. So..." I began but she quickly cuts me off.

         "So you thought you could just come in anyways? What the hell?" He shouts.

         "Look. It ain't like I haven't seen a naked woman before. Besides, trust me, you don't have anything I want. You ain't my type." I tell her, though deep down, all I want to do is rip that towel off and fuck her so hard that she screams out my name and comes harder than anyone has ever made her come with both my fingers, tongue, mouth and my cock. As I just slam into her pussy mercifully.

          Shit! Why the hell did I just say that to her? Fuck! Why am I an asshole? No you know what, this is a good thing. Don't want her thinking we have a chance together. She's too good, too innocent. And I'm.....Well, I'm me.

         I immediately start to regret what I just said about her body. Especially since it wasn't true, when I saw her look like she was going to cry. SHIT!!!

         "Get out. Just fucking get out and leave me alone." She said as she wiped a tear away from her cheek.

         Shit. I should hold her. I should apologize. Fuck why can't I just apologize? Why is it so damn hard for me? Maybe it's cause of the way my dad raised me. I don't know.

         Though what I do know, is that this getaway is gonna be very long.

         As soon as I walked out, she slammed the door shut and I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration with myself.

         Shit! I really needed to get rid of this frustration and alcohol wasn't gonna do it. So I then took out my phone, texted Carla up (the Clubhouse's slut) and told her I needed to let out some frustration.

        So I hopped on my bike and then headed back to the Clubhouse, which was only almost two hours away and figured I would be back by tomorrow. 

************

<<VICTORIA>>

        What the hell was he thinking? Coming in the room and then the bathroom when he knew I was naked in the shower. How else was I supposed to react?

         It didn't really hurt me before with what he said and was the reason in why he was trying to 'apologize' to me tonight.

         But what did affect me and really hurt me was the comment about my body.

         I have ALWAYS been self conscious about my body and weight. Then when I got breast cancer and lost one of my breasts, it just made me more self conscious to where I didn't want to even look at myself anymore. And I still don't when I'm naked. It would also just be a reminder even of what all I had to go through. Between chemo therapy and the surgery.

        I don't know what Josh and Beca thought, but clearly I was right. This was why I didn't date guys that looked like him.

        Beca told me in the cab on the way up here, she was gonna stay in Josh's bedroom. So I got to have a room all to myself. Which was nice.

        So after putting my silk purple night gown on, I got into bed and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.

Another chapter, coming right up! :)



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