still falling ↠ hunter hayes

chapter eighteen //

Chapter Eighteen

“

Hunter’s POV

        "I don’t want any of that," I said. There were my shirts, demos of songs we had written, CD’s, pictures. It was us, in a box.

        "So, you’re over it," I said, picking myself up from the floor.

        I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch a wall. I wanted her. I wanted her more than anything.

        She was silent, staring at the floor.

        "Say something," I paused, "Please, SAY SOMETHING!"

        She kicked the box again, yelling, “WHY DID YOU COME HERE? WHY CAN’T WE JUST PRETEND WE NEVER HAPPENED? I’M NOT OVER YOU! I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT YOU. WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK ALL OUR SHIT IS IN A BOX?!”

        We were face to face, after so long apart, screaming at each other.

        "I’M HERE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. I’M HERE BECAUSE I KNOW YOU LOVE ME. FOR A WHILE, I WONDERED," I threw my arms out into the air, "BUT THEN, ONE NIGHT, I WATCHED THAT VIDEO-"

        "What video?" She whispered, her eyes going wide, her voice dropped quickly.

        I took a step closer to her, my words paining me as I said them, “A fan filmed the whole thing, me getting hurt in that crowd. You can pretend we didn’t happen all you want but, I’m standing here in front of your face. You can’t tell me you don’t lay down at night and think about that night.”

        She covered her mouth, her eyes filled with sadness. She backed away from me.

        I knew if I stopped talking she’d shut down, refusing to speak at all. I spoke everything I was feeling, letting her hear it after so long.

        "I wish I could erase it from my memory, just like I’m sure you do. But, I can feel it like it was yesterday and all I cared about in that moment was you and where you were. And I know, all you were thinking about was me. But, I’m thankful everyday that I was the one hurt, not you. I know I would have been reacting just like you did." I ran a hand through my hair. She was still staring at her feet, lips pulled shut.

        "So, what the hell makes that enough to leave?" My question hung in the air, silence filling the small room.

        "I couldn’t watch you get hurt again," she whispered.

        "So you disappear? Tell your friends to not tell me where you are? Did you think I wouldn’t look? I told you I’d chase you. That was a promise," I said.

        "It’s not that simple," she said, turning toward her mirror.

        I took her arm, spinning her around toward me, “I love you. You love me. That’s all that matters. That’s all that matters, Aspen. It IS that simple. What’d you call the rest of it… a bump in the road?”

        She nodded, tears falling down her cheeks, her breath coming out in large gasps.

        "Dammit, I love you. I love you, I love you," I said, my voice falling to a whisper as I closed the distance between us. I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her to me. I waited for her to stop me, to tell me she didn’t want me anymore. But, she was silent. I ran my thumb down her jawline, feeling her hands wrap around my waist, the edge of my t-shirt threaded through her fingers.