It's Always Been You.

Chapter 20

Shahveer came to pick me up the next morning. The drive back home was annoyingly quite. I looked at him while his eyes were fixed on road. My continuous stare might have made him uncomfortable and he gave a quick gaze back at me making me realize I've been staring at him for quite a long time.
"Do you want to say something?" He inquired
"I-Uh.. Yeah..No. actually.." I started off but couldn't finished the sentence. I myself didn't know what I want to say. Should I inform him that I know about his past? What if he gets mad at me? What if he doesn't like talking about his past?
"What's wrong?" His concerning voice brought me back to the presence.
"I-I.. You're really brave." I blurted out and he simultaneously hit the brakes. He looked at me amazed and confused.
"Well, thanks but can I ask what was the compliment for?" He asked while looking at me intently
"I-I"
"You look cute when you stammer." He smiled while looking at me.
I could feel my cheeks going red hence I turned my face to the opposite side.
He started the engine and started driving again.
He must be thinking what kind of a weird person I am. I don't know what to do and what not to do. A part of me want to hug him and console him about whatever he went through and the other part of me is stopping me to do all of those things.
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"I'm going out for a walk." I said as we entered the house.
He looked at me surprised but later nodded.
The park was just across our house. It was strange for me to go out alone for the first time but I feel like I need to clear my mind a bit. My mind has stopped working and I don't know what to do. My heart wants to forget whatever differences we have but my mind won't let me. Things would've been different if that night didn't occur.
As I was walking engrossed in my thoughts, something hit me in the head.
"I'm extremely sorry, we didn't mean to hurt you." I heard a feminine voice
I looked at a woman in her 30's with a little boy around the age of five. They must be playing in the park. I smiled at them and shook my head
"It's okay, no worries." I said as I hand over the ball
The woman instructed the boy to go play by himself while she stayed back with me
"Hey, my name is Fariha." She extended her hand towards me which I gradually took.
"Alizeh."
"That's a beautiful name."
We walked for a bit and got to introduced each other thoroughly.
After awhile we decided to sit on the bench.
"Is that your son?" I couldn't stop inquiring
"Yes, his name is Ali."
"Ma Sha Allah."
After sometime I decided to go back home. I greeted Fariha and walked back home.
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"How was the walk." Shahveer asked as we sit down for dinner.
"It was nice. I made a friend."
"Oh really? That's nice. I'm glad you've started making some progress." He joked
I gave a slight smile while eating my dinner.
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For the past few weeks, I've been going out for walk every morning after Shahveer leave for work. Fariha too comes around that time. We have become close during this whole time. His son is really adorable and shy.
"You son is really adorable when he blushes." I laughed as we see him play with his football.
"Yeah, he's extremely shy. A complete opposite of me."
"He must be on his father then." I smiled while I give a look at her. Her smile fades away and she looked away. I sense her uneasiness and realized I must've said something wrong
"I'm sorry if I've hurt you in any way." I immediately apologized
"Oh, no. You haven't. It's just.... someone actually mention him after this many years."
I couldn't make what she was saying but I didn't had the courage to ask her the reason. We both kept quiet for awhile
"My husband died when Ali was two years old. We had an argument like every normal couple. The next day he had a flight to Dubai for some work purpose. I didn't say goodbye to him because I was mad at him... if I knew that would be my last time seeing-" Fariha paused as she sobbed, I placed my hand over her shoulder to console her.
"He tried to talk to me before leaving but I didn't responded to him. When he left, I felt some kind of uneasiness. After about four hours later, I get a call that my husband got into an accident. That was the last day I saw him." She looked at me with tears in her eyes. I hugged her because I couldn't control my own emotions. Losing someone you love can be the most difficult thing.
"You know Alizeh, we sometimes are so thankless for what we have. Don't make the same mistake I did or else you'll regret your whole life." Her words got imprinted in my mind.
"Is everything alright with you and your husband?" Fariha asked
I looked at her confused "Yeah, why?"
"Because you don't talk about your husband that much and whenever I try to ask you about your married life, you divert the topic."
I didn't say anything back maybe because I couldn't think of anything.
"You can trust me and share your problems. Sometimes sharing your problems actually helps."
I never talked about my problems with anyone especially the ones which has completely broke me to pieces. I was skeptical about talking about it with her but my mind kind of convince me to talk about it to her. Maybe She has gain my trust and for a fact she was not related to me. I decided to share everything with her, from Shahveer's visit to Pakistan to my marriage to that traumatic night to our wedding. I let go of everything that I've hidden somewhere inside me. I must say that I was kind of relieved after sharing everything with someone.
Fariha looked at the ground intently for some time. This whole time she didn't even say a single word. She must have felt pity for me and would be thinking with what kind of a man I'm stuck with but what she said after actually shook me apart
"I don't think your husband wanted to rape you." It was quite offensive for me as she didn't believe what I was saying
"Why would I lie about such thing."
"I'm not saying that you're lying but I feel like Shahveer didn't had any intention to rape you. Maybe he wanted to give you an impression that he was going to but believe me Alizeh, if a person wants to rape someone, he wouldn't leave without doing it." Her words kind of made sense but my mind was not ready to accept any justification
"I stopped him that's why he had to leave. I prevent him from doing it." I clarified
"Do you think that would've stop him from doing something he wanted? People who get rape, do you think they don't try to stop it. They do but the opposite person forces itself and you can't do anything because of their strength."
I paused for a second thinking of everything she said. She did make a valid point.
"But I don't get it, why would Shahveer wanted to give an impression of his fake intention."
"You should ask him. I truly feel like he is hiding something."
I looked at the time, it was almost time for shahveer's return. I got up and hugged Fariha
"And listen, don't blame someone without listening to their justification."
I nodded at her and went straight home. My mind was exploded with thousand questions and wanted an answer to each one of them.