It's Always Been You.

Chapter 24

I've been trying everything I could to bring the truth out of Shahveer for the past few weeks but he just doesn't budge. I've come to a point to believe that maybe he is right, I'm having false hope. I've stopped trying. I feel like he just doesn't care about what I am going through. Even though we pretend to be okay with each other around my parents but once we're in room, we try to avoid each other.
I feel like the chance of us being together is slipping through our hands. It's not easy to forgive and move on.
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"Shahveer is recovering really fast, Ma Sha Allah" Aunty shamsha said as she visited us
"Alhamdulillah" was all I could say
"I was thinking of arranging a feast for family and friends for his recovery." She shared her thoughts
I nodded as I bring her tea.
Ever since my parents been here, Mom has been strangely quite. Sometimes, I could feel tension between my parents but would shake it off, thinking that maybe it's just my imagination.
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The whole day was hectic as I was busy arranging for the dinner. I was abit nervous as everyone is coming to our house after marriage. Despite all the problems and differences, I still feel like doing all of this maybe for my own satisfaction.
I got ready and went to attend the guests who have started to arrive. For once I felt like everything was normal. My parents and Shahveer family getting along. Things seem to be unreal. I never expected to feel like every normal married wife.
"Ma Sha Allah, Alizeh you've managed this house really well."
"Yes and you've also took really good care of Shahveer"
"You both look really good together"
All these compliments made me feel like I've accomplished something but when I remember our life it brings back all those bitter memories. Nowhere near my life is as perfect as it seems to be.
I looked at Shahveer who was already staring at me. We both didn't say anything but it felt like our eyes were doing all the talking. I wish it was as easy to communicate with each other as well. Even though we both didn't say anything but we both understand how much we regretted our mistakes.
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I was cleaning up after the guests have left. Shamsha Aunty and my parents were the sitting in the lounge.
As I was doing the dishes, I felt someone's presence behind me. Just then someone hands were on mine. Reluctantly I looked at the person who was no one other than Shahveer. He lean towards me until our foreheads were touching. At that moment it felt like as if time has stopped.
I stepped aside and created some distance between us. The frown on his face clearly showed his disapproval. I washed my hands and started to walk away from him. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him
"Why are you ignoring me?" He asked "You just admitted your feelings for me previous week and now you have been avoiding me" he stated as I remained quite
"I also told you that I can't stay with you without knowing the whole truth." I snapped at him
He looked frustrated and his grip got a bit tighter
"The truth is in front of you. What else are you expecting? I did a mistake. Forget it and let's move on" he whispered so that no one can hear us
I tried to free myself from his grip but in vain
"It's not easy to forget and move on. If that is the truth then i can't stay with you. For me my self respect is much greater than my love for you." I said as tears start to build up in my eyes
His eyes soften and he let go of my arm
"So you want to end this marriage?" He asked but his question held hope. Hope of me rejecting the idea. The hope for this relationship
I could feel the lump in my throat as I gather the courage to say the truth
"Yes"
"Alizeh!" I heard my moms voice as she stood at the entrance of the kitchen.
My face got paled upon seeing her as if I've been caught of some crime. Maybe I was not ready to tell them yet. Maybe I was waiting for the right time but when is the right time? It's almost 6 months and this marriage was ought to be for 6 months.
Shahveer wiped his unshed tears as he realized her presence.
My mom walked back to the lounge followed by me and Shahveer
"I told you my daughter would never be happy with this guy."  My Mom screamed at my dad who jolted at the sudden uproar "I told you, didn't I?"
"What happened? Is everything okay" Shamsha Aunty worriedly asked
I tried to control my mom, telling her to calm down.
"Everything is right. I was right. I knew my daughter would never be happy with your son."
"Enough! Shahveer tell me what happened?" My Dad asked ignoring my mom
"Oh what will he say. They were talking about ending their marriage which is right since this was a compromise of 6 months" She raised her voice on my dad
My dad looked at me with disbelief
"Are you not happy with him?" He asked genuinely
For the first time I felt like he really wanted to know if I'm happy or not
"Alizeh bache, did Shahveer do something? Did he hurt you? Tell me the problem. We may come up with the solution." Shamsha Aunty begin
I could not think of the words. I looked at Shahveer for help but he too was standing helpless
"What will she say? I heard them myself. She can't move on with a man who tried to play with her respect."
"Mom!" I shouted immediately to make her quite  from saying anything further
"What do you mean?" Shamsha Aunty asked my mom
"It's nothing. She is just bluffing" my dad tried to divert the topic
"Shahveer? Tell me the truth!" Shamsha Aunty said as she moved towards him. His silence was not supporting him. His eyes were on floor the whole time
"Shahveer I demand the truth! I raised you well, don't put a question on my upbringing"
"What will he say? Let me tell you the truth."
"Mom, stop please" I cried
Without glancing at me, my mom narrated the whole story to her. I felt like living the whole scenario again. The nightmare I tried to forget was brought back in front of me.
"That's how your son played with my daughter respect"
"That's it! If you've decided to tell the truth then why tell them the half truth? Let's tell them the whole truth." My Dad glared at my Mom
The face of my mom clearly showed disbelief.
"Uncle, let it be. Don't please" This was the first time Shahveer spoke.
I looked at them confused
"What truth?" I asked my dad avoiding both my mom and Shahveer
My dad looked at me and held my hand
"That night whatever Shahveer did was not by his own will." My Dad started. My mom and Shahveer tried to intervene but Dad indicated them not to.
"He was instructed to do all that. He was actually forced to do all of that. You want to know who provoked him to do this? It was no one other than your own mom."
I withdrew my hand, not believing what he just said.
"Your Mom wanted you to hate Shahveer so she stoop to that level."
I looked at my mom with disbelief. I couldn't believe the truth I just learned
"Mom?" I looked at her
"I did it because I knew that you had him in your heart. I wanted you to move on with zubair. I wanted to remove him completely from your heart. What wrong did I do? He just had to pretend. I only thought about your happiness."
"By taking away my dignity, my respect?" I raised my voice
"He was not suitable for you. Whatever I did was for the betterment of your future."
"By choosing the guy who ran away on the wedding? By Selling your daughter dignity and respect? By making fun of your daughter's life? By not valuing her feelings?"
She couldn't answer me back. I wanted to say a lot more things to her. I wanted to blame her for framing someone else for her own crimes, I wanted to shout at her for ruining my life, I wanted to hate her for making me hate Shahveer but no matter what, she was still my mom. I couldn't get that courage to say all those things to her.
I looked at Shahveer and moved towards him
"Why?" I asked as he looked at me "why did you want me to hate you? Why were you ready to bear my hatred? Why?" I cried as I held his collar.
I instantly removed my hands and ran outside. I couldn't meet his eyes. Regret took over me. I wanted to slap him for making me feel so miserable for the past few months. I just wanted to be alone away from everyone. I could hear him running after me but that didn't stop me. I don't know how will I ever meet his eyes again.