Toxic | Leila & Christian

Chapter 18: Aftercare

August 24, 2011

Christian's Pov;

Leila's small frame seems even smaller as she sits on the edge of the bed, her legs are curled, and her body is hunched over slightly. I watch her through the glass, brows furrowed with concern, as she waits for Dr.Flynn to engage her. Instead of going to his office as most clients do he made a special trip to see her in the psychiatric facility she's currently residing in thanks to a very persuasive phone call from me and a massive pay raise for the extra trouble. I know I shouldn't interfere in Leila's medical help as much as I have been recently, but I truly believe I have her best interest at heart. I wanted her to see Dr.Flynn because I believe he's the best at what he does. If anyone can help her it's him.  After all I've done to cause this mess the least I could do is be sure she gets proper medical attention. She certainly needs it. She seems disinterested, staring past the doctor instead of at him as he begins to converse with her. While I wait outside trying not to draw attention to myself, Dr.Flynn sits across from her in a chair with his notepad and talks with her, most likely discussing me, and even more likely discussing how I drove her to the mental breakdown that got her in this place. I sigh and look away to check my cell, not wanting to see that empty look in her eyes any longer. I just can't believe this is how our relationship ended up.

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August 21, 2011

Leila holds the gun out to me, eyes filled with tears. She's cracking, crumbling right before my eyes, but as long as her hand remains firmly wrapped around the gun she's in control. I feel a burst of emotions run through me as the shock subsides. Panic. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Desperation. I want to lunge at her and grab the gun straight from her hands, but I know that would be far too dangerous. I have to be more strategic. Manipulative. I have to be the one in control. I know that behind the anger and pain in her eyes there's need there too. She needs me. She's a sub at her core. She could never fully resist my power over her. No matter how she feels. We stare each other down, neither of us moving a single inch. Then I hold my hand out to her and her finger grazes the trigger. The movement startled her, but she still hasn't shot at me. Her lips part slightly as she lets out a shaky breath, our eyes never breaking contact. She wants me to stop her, she won't resist me. "Leila." I say her name softly, gently. She swallows hard. "Kneel." I command her. She does just as I say and drops to her knees on the floor. The gun clatters against the hard floor. A shot fires, just past me, as it hits the floor. Her head stays bowed but her body jumps at the sound. Taylor runs in, having heard the shot, but he's too late to really be of any help. "Get the gun." I say, to Taylor only. Then I kneel down on the floor with Leila and take her into my arms. Her tear clouded eyes stay locked on the floor as I hold her. We don't say anything.

  --- 

 August 24, 2011

My thoughts of that horrible last night with Leila are interrupted by a man saying my name. "Christian Grey?" I recognize him immediately as Leila's doctor. He did a full body examination on her when she was checked in to make sure she didn't have any pressing physical injuries before they did her mental exam. "Yes, that's me." I answer, snapping to attention. He might have an update on Leila. "You're the one who brought Leila in correct?" I nod in confirmation. "You stated upon admitting her that she was pregnant. It seemed that was your main concern physically." I nod again. "Yes." I made sure the doctors were aware of her condition to prevent them from giving her any medication that could harm the baby or otherwise put her at an extra risk. "Ms.Williams isn't pregnant. We tested her before even beginning to discuss her treatment plan. From the look of shock on your face, I can tell this must be news to you." I struggle to regain my composer after the shock his first sentence put me in. "She...She told me she was pregnant. She was sure of it. Was she lying?"Why would she lie about something like that? Just to see me suffer? To get my attention? To convince me to give her more? That's insane. "That's, of course, a possibility, but when we spoke with her she was just as shocked as you to hear the results of her pregnancy test." I swallow hard, trying to process his words. Leila isn't pregnant. What's even more confusing is that this is news to her as well. The doctor seems to catch on to what I'm thinking, likely from the obviously dumbstruck look on my face. "It's likely that she wasn't in fact lying but that she really did truly believe she was pregnant." He answers my unspoken question. "She claimed to us that she had taken a home test and that she had been showing clear symptoms." She never showed me the test. I never asked her to take one in front of me. Maybe I should have. "Did she ever show you a pregnancy test?" He asks, seeming to once again know what I'm thinking. "No, I didn't really give her the chance to." I wince slightly at the memory of the night she announced her pregnancy to me."Well, If she did take one as she said, she could've easily misread the results based on her perception at the time and the way she was viewing reality." He continues his explanation of the situation. "It's also possible that she was experiencing false pregnancy symptoms. She wanted to be pregnant very badly and her mind had convinced her that what she wanted was the reality." Reality is something she's certainly out of touch with, but up until now, I hadn't really understood the severity. This has been going on much longer than I thought. The incident with the gun wasn't just a psychiatric break. This is something that happened gradually over a long period of time. Something has broken deep down in her and it's been that way for a while. Which means she's much worse off than I thought.