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☽
Jia crams her hands in her pockets as she watches the bracing air leave her lips. she's missed the cold and the way it makes her feel physical emotions.
there's nothing that can make her feel anymore.
the weather makes her body cold, goosebumps rising on her covered arms and she doesn't bother to move the hair out of her face when the wind blows.
she says hello to the lady she passes, young mothers like her, dressed in tight coats and lengthy scarves. all living a life chosen by someone else.
"he's a good man Jia. you're so lucky."
the toxic culture, her mortifying past, her decisions, her family and her life drives her mental. yet she continues to walk to her parents house.
the parents who settled her fortune.
and of course when she walks into the house, she hears the two of them bickering at each other sharply.
this is normal for Jia, it's what she's used to. even now that she's an adult, she still comes to see them. her inbuilt respect for her parents is evident as she sits down with a fabricated smile.
and as the elder parents bicker away, wasting another day of their doomed marriage... Jia is left with her past and her appalling memories.
why couldn't i speak up and say i'm too young?
why was i so obedient?
because if you weren't, you'd have serious consequences.
so Jia breaks up her parents arguing and asks if they want anything from the supermarket. they brush her off with a hand gesture and stay quiet.
but of course the silence doesn't last long as her parents start to fight again.
Jia puts on her shoes, rolling her eyes with grievance and she leaves the house, her heart feeling emptier than it did before she came. she doesn't know why she still visits her parents house.
the day passes by with Jia cooking and cleaning before she leaves the house to pick up her precious son.
and seeing him puts a legitimate, cheery smile on her face.
that night, Jia didn't go to sleep, lost in her thoughts and mind as she decided to keep the moon company, by looking out of her spacious window.
