Transitions (sequel to A Sinner's Bible) (complete) Book 2

Chapter seventeen : Done/Emotions/Still Learning

Maria POV

Tay and I don't really talk that much anymore. It's kinda like we've become strangers and roommates only. I think I just don't feel the same about her and I definitely don't think she feels the same way about me. Her mind always seems elsewhere. She still treats Javi the same but I still feel like maybe we did move too fast or something. Her kissing Lea changed how I see her now. I thought she was over her and was completely committed to starting a new life with me. But I guess not. I do what usually do every night and I call Tay during my break to check on Javi.

Tay: Hello.

She sounds just as distant as she has been.

Me: You good?

Tay: Yea, I'm just a little tired. I was just finishing up some homework. Javi is asleep, I fed him and gave him a bath so he's cool.

Me: Um, Tay we really should talk. But I won't bother you anymore right now. Go get some rest.

Tay: Ok thanks. Talk to you later.

Damn that was awkward. It was like she was rushing me off the phone. Hell she hung up without even saying I love you. That's not like her at all. Even with all our problems, she still usually says that when we hang up. Something is off but since I'm at work I figure it's best we just talk later. I guess, it's probably better to talk in person anyways. But it still hurts though. It's crazy how much she's changed and so fast.

I go back to work but I'm thinking about Tay and our relationship the entire time. When I get off, I go directly home and wake Tay up. We need to talk now before I lose my nerve to say anything. I need to know what's going on with her. "Tay what's up with us?", I ask. She gently wipes the sleep out her eyes.

"Maria, what are you talking bout?", she asks. "You've been acting really strange for a minute now.", I tell her honestly. She clinches her jaw. I look at her-wide eyed and expectant of some form of bullshit excuse for something. I'm already thinking she's done something and feels guilty for it now. Or maybe give denials and claims of being just fine. But no she comes out and says something I definitely wasn't expecting.

"Lea's sick. It's been fucking with me bad.", she explains. I mean I don't like Lea, but I'm not the type of person to wish ill on anyone else. "What's wrong?", I ask. I ask just to be polite. Honestly I'm truly not all that concerned. I said I don't wish ill on anyone, but the woman is not innocent and I haven't forgotten what she is to Tay. And I know how much she must still means to Tay. It immediately comes up in my mind how she kissed Tay. So her well being isn't exactly at the top of my list.

Tay looks at me and says, "She's got leukemia. My mind goes blank. That's more serious than I was thinking Tay was gonna say and I feel horrible for the thoughts I had. Now I don't know what to say. She asks, "Did you hear me?" I look back at her. "Yes and I'm really really sorry to hear that. I truly have sympathy for her. But what I want to know is why is that changing the way you act towards me?", I respond. "I'm your fiancé. I know she's meant a lot to you. So I understand you being worried and concerned. And believe me I feel horrible for her. But I'm the one you said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.", I say. "Why are you shutting me out?", I ask.

I mean understand why she's sad. She was with her for years. But what I don't get is why that would affect how she treats me. Unless there is still more to it. If she really isn't over her, I'm not gonna continue to waste my time. My son is my only concern in life. If she's not invested in our relationship that means she isn't ready for him either. He loves her so much already but I know I need to end it as soon as possible for both of us. He will need to heal and so will I.