Transitions (sequel to A Sinner's Bible) (complete) Book 2

Chapter Eight: Accepting the Unacceptable/Choices

                           Lea POV

It's a gloomy Saturday morning and I'm sitting with Craig looking out my window pane. I've been nothing but depressed lately. It's been two months since Tay and I decided to take a break. Craig suddenly starts to bark and jump up and down.

I pat his head. "Calm down baby boy." He's excited cause he sees Tay. Even though we aren't together we decided since Craig is both of ours and that on weekends she'd be able to come and get him. So they can spend time together. I can tell he misses her. Hell I miss her SO fucking much.

I still love her, I just can't figure me out, which helped fuck up our relationship. I'm almost certain that's why Tay grew away from me. But regardless of my feelings or behavior that still don't make it ok for her to practically jump into Maria's arms. That was a gut punch.

Maybe I overreacted or maybe not. But two points a how in the hell do I, the confused insecure woman/child compete with the sexy confident definitely grown Maria? She is and always will be in the shadows of Tay's mind and heart. And b now she can give Tay something I haven't been able to and that she's been dying for. Thats  a family. Yes, I know about Javier. But Tay didn't tell me Lisa did.

Lisa also told me she didn't even go out with Tay on her birthday. But she then also told me she knew about Maria before then. She said she was sorry she didn't tell me. But she felt it wasn't her place to tell. Which I can understand because I would feel the same way. "I just wouldn't want you to get mad at me or something.", she said. "I'm trying to stay out of people's business more and more.", she added.

"It's ok Tay should've been the one to tell me.", I told her. I was trying comfort Lisa, because I know she felt awful. She shouldn't but I know she does. "Listen, you've been amazing to me despite of everything, I couldn't have asked for a better friend. So don't worry yourself over this.", I told her.

The doorbell catches my attention from my flashback. I rush to get it. Tay is standing there with sad eyes. I know she is just as sad as I am. "Hey.", she says lowly. "Hey.", I respond. She then flashes that beautiful smile. God I miss hearing her voice and seeing that smile daily.

She's told me even if I were bi she'd be ok with it. She told me that the day of the break up. But it's when I told her that I'm not sure if I'm even ready to settle down and be in a completely monogamous relationship, that's when she flipped. I was already having my doubts.

How can I be locked down and be confused about me. It wouldn't be fair to her. I was thinking why should she have to wait for me. Come to find out she wasn't which makes looking in those beautiful eyes hurt even more.

Craig immediately pounces all over her. Then there's that laugh. I really don't know how I'm gonna continue this. "How you guys been?", she is finally able to ask. "We've been good.", I lie. We've been far from. This is the third time trying this and it's even harder than the first but unlike the last two times she asks, "Can we talk?"

I open the door wider and nod. "Lea.", she starts out with. We're sitting in what once OUR living room. "Did I make you happy when we were together?", she asks. I know the look on my face changes. Because I just became confused. I thought I made it very clear for years I was happy.

"Yes, Tay.", I tell her honestly. Being with her were the happiest years of my life. I'm about to ask her why she's asking this, but she beats me to the punch."Then what specifically made you start to second guess us?", she asks. We haven't really had a real conversation about my thought process. We've had a argument but not a discussion.

"You've been fine for years then...boom.", she adds. "Just looking at other people don't mean you don't wanna be in relationship.", she says. Her voice sounds somewhat distraught and her face is hard to read. But I decide it's best to respond truthfully.