Her Secrets

Chapter 9 Forgive Me

       I stared blankly at Axel "What are you doing here Axel" I say coldly his smile dropped. Now he was angry just like me "What can't come home to see my family" Axel asked with venom in his voice. "Not when you abandon them no" I say back as the entire dinner falls silent.
       "Blur" said Axel warning me not to do this in front of a bunch of people who didn't know what truly goes on. "Come on Raphael" I say leaving with him and Max. "Look who's running away now" I heard Axel muttered I stopped dead in my tracks. Despite the pain my body has been in all day I turn around and punch Axel square in the jaw. Then I grabbed his shoulder while he was caught off guard, hunching him over and kneeing him in the stomach.
       "Fuck off" I say as Axel falls to the ground I then walk out with Raphael and Max. I was walking fast to my truck with Raphael running to it. Max of course staying with Raphael for me. "BLUR!" I heard Axel shout and I smirked everyone in the diner was gonna stay in there just to watch us. "You know why I left" Axel defended himself as he stood three feet from me. "Yes! But you also abandoned me and Raphael" I said "leaving me to deal with taking care of Raphael, taking care of myself. You are the older brother! You were supposed to protect us!" I shout now angry.
       "Blur! I was dealing with them before you were even born!" shouted Axel "Yes! But They Never Hit You Did They!" I shout back. Axel seemed defeated now "please forgive me Blur. You know it was hard for me to accept all of that" Axel said to me looking sad. I sighed in defeat he was my brother and though he left us when I was eleven. Leaving Raphael at three years old; I knew he just needed to get away like Raphael. The only person out of us three that can handle the beating is Me.
It's the hard truth I haven't ever wanted to admit since I realized it when I was twelve. When I finally realized Axel wasn't coming back anytime soon. But that's when I discovered that Raphael didn't have to be use to it like me.
"I forgive you. Now give me a damn hug" I say and Axel smiles and crashes into my arms. Axel picks me up and spins around, but I hiss in pain causing Axel to put me down. He gave me sad eyes and an apologetic smile. But I knew behind those sad eyes there was anger as well.
"Come on you two Aunty is expecting us" said Raphael making us laugh at him "need a ride brother" I ask smirking. "Nah I got my beauty over there" he said nodding towards his motorcycle. I shake my head no "looks like I owe you a quarter" I say laughing slightly. "Damn right you do" said Axel I then pass him a quarter from my pocket and head to my truck.
I get in my truck and look to Raphael who was smiling at me. "Glad you two finally made up" said Raphael, I smirk as I start my truck. "So am I. Little brother" I say the last part and ruffle Raphael's hair to mess with him. Raphael swats my hand away and I laugh as I return back to leaving. We pull out onto the road and head for the Motel, where Aunty and Raphael were staying at.

We enter the Motel room to see Aunty packing her belongings and Raphael's too. "What's going on" I asked but deep down I knew what was wrong "your mother and Gabe saw me. We have to leave now" said Aunty. My heart broke and I walked out the door slamming it shut. I look down over the railing wanting to do nothing, but cry my eyes out. But instead I turned and slam my fist into the brick wall. I hit the wall two more times then kicked it.
Axel walked out after I was setting my leg back down after I kicked the wall. "Blur" he said with sadness and worry written all over his face. "They ruin everything Axel! They ruined my childhood! They ruined my innocence! They ruined my mind! They Ruined My Damn Life!" I shouted then slammed my fist into the wall again. Axel places his hand on my shoulder then turned me around to where I was hugging him now.
"It's not fair" I cried out as my legs began to fail me, and my entire bad girl aura disappeared. Axel fell to the ground with me sitting me in his lap rocking me back and forth. In hopes of calming me down from my emotional breakdown. Which I have these every so often, maybe like every other month. Sometimes twice a month or three.
       Raph came out and got down with us hugging me tight. "It'll be ok Blur. We will talk like usual" said Raph, I nodded my head and hugged Raph. "Just remember I always love you Blur. You are my Protective Big Sister" Raph told me, I smiled while crying and nodding my head. My Aunt just stood with sad eyes and then muttered thinking I wouldn't hear her. She said "why did I end up with such a heartless sister" and I knew Aunty was really angry, not just sad.
       Axel and I watched Aunty and Raph leave the Motel parking lot, and as they left I felt like crying again. But I put back on my strong mask and just go blank. "So what do you want to do Sis?" Axel asked me, I turned to Adele it's no emotions on my face. "Probably go to a party later with the girls. To get fucked and out of the house" I tell Axel, he shakes his head at me. "Sounds like what I used to do" he said chuckling a bit at me "Well we are siblings" I say smirking. Axel laughs at me "true" he says as I shake my head with a small smile playing on my lips.
       "Mind if I come along" Axel asked after a small peaceful silence "sure" I say. "We never did get to party together. Did we?" I asked no the answer anyways he chuckled again. "Yep we never have, but tonight will be the first and the funnest night ever" Axel said. "And how's that" I say raising an eyebrow at him "because I'm in town. Parties are always amazing when I'm at them" said Axel. "Not from what it sounds like. Sounds like you always beat the shit out of people. While you were drunk" I state smirking in victory.
       "Yeah. Well alcohol makes you do stupid shit" said Axel every trace of enjoyment erased from me. I was stone cold. No. I was Ice cold. "Yeah I know" I say thinking of Mom and Gabe, and my mind began to race. To all of my past memories, to the beatings, to the hateful words they spit at me, and to everyone leaving me. And to Jacob.
       "Well I will see you there" I say and quickly began to walk away "are they still at Abandon Manner?" Axel asked. I stopped turned my head a bit towards Axel, and nodded my head then walked off. I got in my truck and turned the key. I then drove off heading towards home. As I am driving home that night seemed to be stuck in my head. I got home though without crashing.
       When I walked threw the door though I saw a flash of that night.

       Gabe was kicking Jacob in the ribs as my mom held me back telling me awful things. But I was crying and ignoring my mother.

       "Look who's home" said Gabe getting up snapping my attention away form the kitchen area; Gabe walked over to me grabbing my forearm. "Where is Raphael?!" Gabe yelled at me "Far away form you" I say through gritted teeth. "You really are an idiot aren't you girl?!" Gabe yelled at me in my face spit flying on my face. I wiped the spit away and my hands curled into fists. My knuckles turning as white as milk for how tight they were with anger. "No your just a stupid and abusive father" I say back with so much venom in my voice.
       Gabe seemed shocked I stood up to him, but turned angry quickly. He pulled me fully into the house harshly and slammed the door shut. "You will pay for talking back to me" Gabe spoke as Max started to bark form outside the door. Max sounded mad, protective, and worried in his bark. Which I then knew what was coming.

        I was finally going to leave this world.

I was finally going to leave this hell hole world.

             I was finally going to join Jacob.