Waves (KiriBakuDeku)

Chapter 17

Sometimes before it gets better
The darkness gets bigger
The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger

Izuku's POV~

"Eijirou?" I asked in utter disbelief.

Both of them froze where they were standing. Slowly Eijirou turned to face me, his face showing pure fear.

"Fuck."

I didn't know what to do. The boy I loved just turned out to be one of the most wanted men in Japan.

I looked over at 'Zero', connecting at least one dot. "Kacchan?"

He pulled off his mask, revealing the distressed face of the other boy I loved.

The world seemed to crumble around me as I did nothing but stare at them. What should I have done? What does one do, when the two people you loved, you trusted with you life, turn out to have been lying to you the whole time? About who they are. What they do. Who they've killed. I might have said they don't aim to kill pros for fun, but that in no way, means they haven't done it.

I felt the tears start to building up until I couldn't hold them back anymore.

"I- I don't understand. What- How-" My hands moved up to grip at my hair as I tried to grasp what was right in front of me.

Before I could completely shatter, they both came running across the road to me. They tried to grab me, or hold me, or hug me, or something, but I pulled away from them like they were fire.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed, causing both of them to flinch.

"Izu please-"

"No! Shut the hell up! You can't just talk your way out of this. You-you're- you two are freaking Zero and Red! You're criminals!" I said pacing around in a small area.

I was mad. I was beyond mad. I was so pissed off I could- I could- I don't really know, but I was livid.

"Just let us explain!" Eijirou said, moving towards me.

I walked back, keeping far out of his reach. I could barely look at them, let alone touch them. "Explain what? That you're the two most wanted men in all of Japan? I kind of already figured that out, thanks." I shot back sarcastically.

I stopped moving as a sudden thought came over me. "Is that why you guys started dating me? So you could have an in with the pros? Figure out schedules and plans? You totally did, didn't you? I fell for it! I played right into your plan and I actually thought- I actually though you loved me." My voice broke at the end. It hit me then that everything might have been fake.

It was worse than the loneliness.

Far worse.

"No, no, no! That was never our plan!" Eijirou said frantically. Through my own tears I could see that he had tear tracks as well.

"And don't you ever say we don't love you. Nothing was fake. We didn't use you for anything. We specifically kept out of your hero life for that reason. We would never want to make you feel compromised like that." Kac- Katsuki said.

I nearly fell for it. The look he had, it was breaking my heart. But then I remembered they were both criminals without the capability to feel love.

"You expect me to believe that?!" I yelled, backing away from them even further.

"It's the truth Izuku. Please we would never do anything to hurt you!" Eijirou pleaded.

I gave him a 'are you serious right now' look. "He blew me into a fucking wall!" I yelled, pointing at Katsuki. "I broke three ribs!" I turned my attention back to the red head. "You shattered my hand! How can you look at me right now and say you'd never hurt me?"

"Just look at what you're doing right now. You'd never hurt me? Bull shit. This is the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I've been on the brink of death more times than I can count. I've been through hell and back. None of it even comes close to how this feels." I said, the tears not slowing as I put every ounce of hurt I was feeling into my voice. I wanted them to know exactly how broken I was. Maybe it'd get through to them.

"Izu, please just-" Katsuki tried, but his voice died in this throat.

That's when another thing hit me like a tone of bricks.

"Y-you... You've killed people." I said softly, not wanting to believe it. I snapped my head up to look them in the eyes for the first time. "You're the reason people lost family members. Loved ones. Friends."

It was to hard to grasp. The same hands that would run through my hair, have ended people's lives.

"Look, you have to believe us! We've never once intended for someone to die! We aren't murderers." Eijirou said, trying to convince me of something I already knew, but wouldn't acknowledge.

"You know us, as criminals and us. You know we aren't monsters." Katsuki said. They were both taking slow careful steps closer to me, as I matched their movements backwards, keeping the same distance between us.

I was shaking my head no repeatedly. I wrapped my arms around myself, just wanting to disappear. I couldn't deal with this. I wasn't physically able to handle it.

"Izuku, hey look at me." Katsuki ordered gently. I shook my head again. "Look at me. Please Izu."

I couldn't stop myself, it was like my body was on auto pilot. My eyes met his watery red ones. "Good." He praised. "Now look into my eyes and tell me I'm a monster. Do that and we'll walk right into the closest police station and turn ourselves in." He said.

"Katsuki!"

"Shut up." He hissed, keeping his eyes on me.

It was so simple. I call him a monster, they turn themselves in. That's all I had to do. I could have done it. I should have been able to do it.

But I couldn't.

The tears that had come to a momentary halt, started up again, ten fold. "I-I can't!" I yelled as I felt like I was about to explode from all of the emotions I was experiencing at once.

I nearly collapsed, but they both saw it coming and rushed forwards, Katsuki being the once to catch me. He pulled me into his arms and held on tight. "Sh, I know. I'm so sorry." He whispered as I sobbed into his chest.

"Go tell them we're leaving early." I heard him say to Eijirou. "Don't forget your mask Ei."

The other boy was back in less than five minutes. "You want me to take him?" He asked Katsuki.

"Yeah, he could use you right now."

I was scooped up into the red heads arms bridal style. I fisted my hands into the material of his shirt, still softly crying. "Where are we taking him?" Eijirou asked.

"Our place is closer."