Chapter 40: Never Not

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The numbing pain never left inside me as days go by. I was used to having men in bed and leaving them was not a big of a deal for me. It was all fun but no feelings involved. It was quite convenient in a way but I never thought having this arrangement with the only man I loved will be this hard.

Maybe karma is really hitting me hard because I used people just to get over with the pain I felt. However, I can't really ignore the fact that I only have one month left until I put an end to all of this if things won't change.

I just got out of the conference room from a meeting with the managers about our monthly reports and we also talked about the approaching date of the team building when Newwie, one of the models that I should be handling together with Bright approached me.

"Sir, good morning!" he greeted as he smiled at me.

"Good morning Newwie. How's your new manager?" I asked and he pouted.

"Sir, Bright is so lucky to have you as his manager. You were very caring when you took care of our whole team last week."

He's talking about the time when I handled them for a TV commercial shoot last week. Bright had a fashion show in London for a week and given that he has his own manager there with the international modeling agency he's in contract with, I wasn't needed for that trip so the management here asked me to handle Newwie's team for a while until Bright comes back.

"That's my work so it's fine." I assured him and smiled. "By the way, are you joining the team building on Friday?"

"Yes sir. I'm so excited! I haven't been in the beach for so long!" he happily said and I just realized how his smile can affect people. He's a really cheerful person I must say.

"Win." a baritone voice said and as I turned to the right, I saw Bright standing near me with hands in his pocket and impassively staring at me.

"You're here. Are you ready to leave? You have two pictorials for today and a rehearsal for the fashion week." I informed him and gave him a wide smile. I just can't really smile just by seeing his face.

"Yeah I know. Let's go." he cleared his throat and threw a glance at Newwie before walking ahead.

We're in the lift when he started to talk.

"You're close with Newwie?" he asked while staring at our reflection.

"Hmm... not really. We got to know each other when I handled his team last weak for a project."

"While I'm away?" he asked and I nodded.

"He's a nice guy." I commented and I noticed his eyebrow shot up.

He scoffed as he shook his head.

"Every guy is nice for you, what do I expect?" he sarcastically said.

He's starting again. Bright has always been like this whenever he'll see me talk to male models and I don't even know why.

My one month is almost over and honestly, I'm losing hope for my plans. Maybe Sinee is right- maybe there are people who are in your life but they are not meant to stay but to teach you a lesson. Maybe we are really not meant for each other.

Besides, our relationship has been really toxic that it's affecting both of us. If I won't put an end to it, we'll just end up poisoning and draining each other until nothing is left for us.

I heaved a sigh and let him have his annoyance thrown at me. I can't do anything about that anymore. I've tried everything and anything to win you back but I guess it's really not enough to bring back what we used to have.

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