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Hiii!

I'm looking back on my completed story, Surrounded, and I'm cringing!! This is why I need people to correct me and give suggestions. I feel like I could have done a lot better on Surrounded. You can give me constructive criticism at any time, even if the book is completed.

WARNING⚠️
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Monday

10:12 AM

3rd POV

News in a small town can spread like wildfire, and it was no different with the unknown man.

Whispers among the people in the cafe continue as the man still flirts with the pure baker, with a fuming Matt behind the counter.

"Sorry, but I have to get back to work now. Your fritter will be 1 dun and 55 kits." The girl said as she looked around and noticed the number of people in her bakery. The man handed her the money he stole on the way here earlier without anyone noticing.

Giving him a polite smile, she heads back, quick enough to not see the already whipped man almost fall on his knees from just her smile.

"What did he want?" Y/n was startled from the sudden question from Matt. His voice was weirdly cold. "Oh, he just wanted some recommendations for where he could go and we got carried away in the conversation. But don't worry, I'm back now." She said with a smile on her face.

"Good, and don't go talking to strangers like that. You should be more cautious of him" Y/n only hesitantly nodded as she quite liked the strange man, but she also trusted her close friend.

Even though they were whispering, the beast could still hear with his wolf senses. He could tell the boy didn't like him, and the feelings were mutual. I hope I don't have to kill you, I wouldn't want to get bloody. The beast thought as he walked out of the bakery so he wouldn't be suspicious for staying there for too long.

He thought to look around his baby's town and see what there is. He got quite a bit of odd stares from the towns people. That's the downfall of his mate living in a small town, he'll have to talk to a lot of people because of their 'curiosity' of a newcomer.

He looked at the bakery's front and saw the hours in a fancy font on some wood thing.

8:00AM to 4:30 PM
CLOSED ON SUNDAYS

His people didn't really use number time, they just looked at the sun for the time of day, so he didn't really understand the hours, but he hoped it was soon. Asking the people would just make them more suspicious of the man.

They use those big things, uh, clocks, right? Is that the name of it? Gosh I don't know, maybe I could find one to help me.

Desperate to find out the time so he could find a way to spend time with his baby, he walks around quickly.

He stops when he looks up at a huge clock on some building. The small hand was on a X and the big one was just past the II, almost at the III.
(Just for reference, numbers not accurate on photo)

What the hell?! That doesn't help me at all! I thought they used numbers!

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What the hell?! That doesn't help me at all! I thought they used numbers!

Not understanding whatever that was he decided to check out the bar his baby told him about to pass his time. His parents told him about those. They sell all kinds of alcohol to people and most of them get drunk. He's never seen a drunk person so he has no idea what it meant.

Living rogue all your life, you don't get a sense of what a normal life is. Yet unlike most rogues, he could read. He would be screwed if he couldn't, so he is thankful for that.

Walking in, his wolf senses immediately caught up with him and he coughed at the excessive amount of the alcohol smell in the air.

Deciding to give it a chance as he had nothing else to do, he sat down and looked at the wall full of writing.

The first thing that caught his eye was whiskey and he decided to try it out.

The bartender, after staring at him for a while because of confusion, gave him his order.

He saw the two small glasses and decided to drink them each in one gulp. It burned his throat, but he kind of liked it.

He looked around the bar to see not much people there, but they looked weird and out of it to him, so he only decided to get two more, not wanting to end up like them.

Being unaware of alcohol and this being the first time trying it, he didn't know that four shots for him would be just enough for him to get pretty drunk himself.

He left the bar after that, now seeing the big hand past the V, but small hand still on the X.

He felt a bit drowsy and ended up back at the bakery. He didn't understand this feeling but seeing the scene inside sent some of his sober self back.

He saw a customer purposely spill their drink, causing his baby to fall due to the floor, making the close by Matt have to catch her. He saw the way they looked into each other's eyes as she was in his arms.

He saw the boy secretly give the customer some money as Y/n was in his arms. This making him growl lowly.

I'll kill them both. That customer and the bratty boy. I'll rip them a part with my own teeth. I'll make them eat each other's guts while looking at each other. She is mine! Not yours you little boy!

The beast was furious. Yet, with some of his sober self back, he knew that if he lashed out here, his baby would be terrified of him.

When no one was looking, he ran in the forest, quickly changing into his beats form, running past the trees in hopes of calming down.

Yet he knew the only way to calm the beast inside him right now, was for him to slaughter both of those men, and it had to be soon.

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I hope y'all enjoyed.

Sorry it's a lil short.

I finally got the word "staring" right. I may live in an English speaking country, but I still get confused on words. Starring is like being a star in show and staring is looking at someone. I messed up on this a lot in my other books so yeah.

Suggestions and constructive criticism are accepted:)

See y'all next time

Love ya

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