THE WILD ━━━━ embry call.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Emotional Fixations 

***

"My singing voice will never be the same." 

 Embry stared at me, blatant confusion evident on his face as he looked at the expression of despondence on mine. "I'm sorry... what?" 

I looked up to my boyfriend, my hoarse voice repeating what I had previously stated. "My singing career is over." 

 "You never had a singing career." 

 "Well now I'll never be able too." 

 Embry crawled over to press his hand against my forehead, "how much drugs did Cullen give you?" 

 My frown deepened. If I said that my throat wasn't sore, I would be lying. Carlisle said that there was no way to know if my voice was ever going to sound like its usual beautiful self again, or if it would always sound like I just woke up. 

 I didn't even process anything that happened until I woke up. Even then, I automatically realized that I was hurting like hell. Like I was throat-punched by someone wearing an iron glove. It's not a nice feeling, knowing that you were trapped inside of your own mind, while your friends and family grieved in the real world... the world of the living. 

  Apparently I was dead... okay, that means that my heart stopped. That is what dead means, that is the scientific explanation. You are dead, your heart stops... cool. It's really quite simple, I don't know why people over-complicate it so much. If your heart is beating, you're alive. But technically, there is still time after your heart stops, when your brain is still alive. A short time, yes, but a very real time. 

 I think I hallucinated in that time. 

 Here's what happened, I didn't see God. I didn't see any deceased relatives, or woodland creatures, or any of that stuff. No, I just saw darkness. The back of my eyelids is the usual darkness you see in slumber, but this was darker. Like I had fallen into an abyss. And then, it lit up.

 White... flashes of light, like at a concert when everyone raises their hands, and turn on their phone flashlight. Then I saw... me. I saw Anthony Carter... not too far in the past. 

 It was before any of my friends had phased, that day on the cliff. It was like I was watching from a third-person perspective, of me gripping onto Embry for dear life as Jake and Quil tried to get me into the water. I was so small... I didn't really truly realize how short I actually was, and it is laughable now. Well, not necessarily to me, more to my friends in the past.

 I just am now seeing it clearly. 

 Then I saw that one time that I remember from a few summers ago. We were in the city, jay-walking obviously--even though I almost had an anxiety attack before-- when Jacob almost got hit by a tour bus. I am pretty sure that is the first time I said more than five swear words in perfect unison with Quil. 

 "Holy shit!" Jake yelped, managing to jump on the sidewalk just as the bus stopped where he was moments before. His face was bright red, and he turned to the bus right as the doors opened. "Who the fuck trained you? Jesus Christ you hurrying to get to your appointment murder a bunch of babies? What the fuck man, get a real job!" 

 As this rant was being emitted, a large group of elderly's giving him looks of both mortification and confusion as they exited the bus. Embry's grip slowly released his grip on my arm as we watched his exchange, and slowly, very slowly, Quil began to laugh.