Can't Let Go

nine

Malaika was on the verge of losing her mind. She couldn't understand why her head was aching like crazy, nor was she able to recollect anything. She didn't remember who saw was, what was her name, or even why the hell she was here. Everything was blank.  

"W-who am I?" she weeps in pain whilst covering her face with her palms, imagine the horror; waking up suddenly and not knowing who you are. It was definitely not a nice feeling. 

"Malaika..." she felt a hand on her shoulders, which touched her tenderly. She topped crying slowly, wondering who was Malaika. Raising her head,  she came face to face with the stranger, a very charming one at that. She gave him a confused stare.  The stranger was crying, he was crying for her whilst wiping away her tears. She was taken aback by his actions. 

Arsalaan was in shock, he didn't know what to do. But seeing her cry like that pricked his heart. He couldn't fathom any of this, it must be a horrible dream. How he wished it was. She stared at him blankly as he wiped her tears which kept streaming down her cheeks continuously, "please stop crying. It's going to be fine." he whispered.

Malaika stared at him in a daze, the medicines were starting to show their effects. But before she would pass out, she wanted to know who was he to her, "do you know me?" He nodded his head, as she stared at him with eager eyes, relieved to know that at least there was someone who knew her. 

"You're Malaika, your name is Malaika." a small smile appears on her face. That name felt oddly familiar to her. It felt like a hope, a hope that she could remember things again. She looked up at him again, as he sat beside her carefully, "what is your name?"

"I'm Arsalaan, Arsalaan Baig." he gave her a sad smile as she stared at him, with blankness and confusion, "so you're my husband, huh?" He definitely didn't expect her to ask him this out of everything else she could ask. 

"I am." Arsalaan felt himself muttering and the next moment something unexpected happened. Malaika flung her arms around him, with all her energy and cried in his chest. Even though he was taken aback, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. She felt soft and vulnerable against him, as she cried her heart out. He didn't stop her this time, he just lets her cry whilst controlling his own tears. But at last, he whispered, "it's going to be fine." Which got her stopping.

Malaika felt safe in his arms. Something in her wanted to trust this person, who claims to be her husband and for the time being, she wanted to listen to her heart. The heaviness in her head increased and before she could realize it, she passed out in his arms. 

Arsalaan panicked at once as he stared at the doctor blankly. 

The doctor nodded at him," we need to take few scans. I'm afraid, she has lost her memory. How severe is that, I can tell only after the scans."

"Please stay outside, Mr Baig." the doctor called out for the nurse, but Asalaan didn't budge from there, "I'll stay with her. Please," he said as he eyed her fragile body in his arms.

"I can understand your emotions, Mr Baig. But please let us do our work. Your wife will be fine. Have trust in God."

Arsalaan stared at her unconscious figure in his arms again and made her lay on the hospital bed, unwillingly. He didn't want to leave her alone, his heart ached to know that only because of him all of this has happened. But even if he wants to, he cannot change anything now. 

***

The Abbasi's were furious as the news of Malaika's accident came to them. They came to the hospital immediately and were even more shocked to know how serious the accident was. 

"You bastard!" Fahad, who couldn't mask his emotions punched Arsalaan's nose, who glared back at him. 

"How did this happen?" Ahad asked the first thing.  

"It was an accident. She fell down the stairs by tripping on her long lehenga. " Arsalaan muttered whilst the Abbasi's stared at him angrily. They were so mad at him. If they could, they'd beat the living daylights out of him. But right now, Malaika was their concern. 

"What did the doctors say?" Fahad asked him coldly. 

"They are still scanning her head. All I know is; she has lost her memories and doesn't remember anything." Shahana was crying loudly at this point, the younger Abbasi's were finding it hard to control their parents when they themselves were a mess. 

"Pray to God that nothing happens to her, I'll kill you with my bare hands if not." It was Zayn, who was silent the whole time muttered with rage. 

"Mr Baig, the doctor is calling you inside." a nurse came and called him. Arsalaan followed her with a nod and he also found Fahad coming behind him, they didn't speak anything else. Just walked in silence. 

The nurse stopped the other family members who were eager to talk with the doctor as well, but the maximum number of members allowed was only two. So they waited until Fahad talked. 

"Please take a seat, Mr Baig, and?" the doctor raised his eyebrows whilst reading some files. 

"Fahad Abbasi. Malaika's brother." the doctor nodded at him as they both took a seat. 

"How's she, my sister? Nothing to worry right?" Fahad asked worryingly, Arsalaan looked on for the doctor to continue as he was eager to know as well. He hasn't had any sleep from yesterday, he was restless from the moment he picked her in his arms until now.

"She will be fine. But right now, no. Due to falling down the stairs, Mrs Baig has injured her head. And her memory storage part of the brain is damaged slightly, which has caused her retrograde amnesia. Meaning, she has lost all her past memories." the doctor paused and saw both the men's shocked faces. 

"Will she ever regain them?" it was Fahad, who asked that. He was clearly very worried.

"She will, partially. Or she may not. We cannot be sure. But being optimistic is always good. Don't lose hope." the doctor smiled pitifully.

"The medications will help heal the injuries and maybe in a few months, she will recollect things. As of now, you should make sure not to stress her out by forcing her to recall things or by saying things to her which she will be finding unpleasant. It might be dangerous for her brain." Arsalaan nodded at that. He was lost deep in thoughts. 

And he felt something which he hasn't felt before. 

Regret. 

He regretted his actions. But it was too late.

***

Malaika held Arsalaan's arms tightly as he sat beside her while the Abbasi family came to meet her one by one. She felt the warmth and love in their eyes and she knew they could be trusted. She was scared sometimes ago, to meet new faces and not being able to recall who they were, it has pained her heart so much. She could how hard the family tried to mask their emotions while introducing themselves to their own daughter and it made her feel worse from inside. But with Arsalaan being in her side, she somehow felt protected and safe. Her hold on his arms was still as tight. 

Arsalaan couldn't look in anyone's eyes as they came and met her. It killed him from within, with the way they were staring at him, sitting beside her. He wasn't as emotionless and cold he portrayed himself to be. With every new person coming in to meet her, his cold heart was sinking in deeper and deeper with regret. 

He regretted his actions more than anything, but maybe it was a bit too late as the damage was already caused. 

"Malaika, will you come and stay with us for a while?" Shahana asked her daughter, had it been the old Malaika she wouldn't even have to ask, but this new Malaika looks up to Arsalaan and trusts him with everything just because he was there with her when she opened her eyes.

"No, ammi. I want to stay with Arsalaan." Her answer even though wasn't very shocking for Shahana, certainly has shocked Arsalaan.

And that's how he found himself vowing to protect this woman at all costs. It was ironic but yes until she recollects her memory he was going to be there for her and repent for his actions every day.