Can't Let Go

twelve

Arsalaan was burning hot with fever which Malaika realized in between their hug, a frown appears on her face as she pulled back making him confused for a second, whilst she checked his temperature. 

"You're hot!" she exclaims in horror, pulling him to sit on the bed and walked to the bedside table's drawer where the first aid box was placed, at this point she knew exactly where everything is in the room by her heart. The frown on her face deepens as she read his temperature through the thermometer. 

"It's 101.2 F, Arsalaan" she muttered with worry while he sat there with an amused face. The way she said his name, full of worry and panic made him freeze for a moment. He did not deserve her, he never did.  First of all, he couldn't even believe that she actually is here; in his room when she should be back after a week or two, and second; her worry and concern towards him was scaring him. He wouldn't even lie. 

"Aren't you tired? You'd lecture me on taking care of myself but when it comes to you, look how careless you've been. My God, Arsalaan... When did you last eat?" she raised her eyebrows at him, he still had that amused look plastered on his face. He was lost too deep in his thoughts to reply to her question, "did you eat?" she asked again.

"I did not eat anything." he didn't dare look at her honey brown eyes, which was throwing daggers at him. 

"Have you seen what time it is? It's freaking three twenty in the noon and you haven't had breakfast also? I go for two days and this is your state? You'd simply stop taking care of yourself, huh? What if I leave forever?" Malaika had no idea that her simple question held a lot more impact than she could ever imagine. Arsalaan dreaded that day, which he is sure will come sooner, and he couldn't tolerate her gone only for two days, what will happen if she leaves him forever? He had no freaking idea and the thought of getting himself attached to her was terrifying him. But even if he wants to, he cannot do anything about it for she already has created a very important space in his heart. A heart which he never knew was there before until she came in the picture that is. 

"You're not getting out of this bed until I ask you to. And no work. Not until you recover" she warned in her threatening tone and walked out of the room, leaving behind a very emotional Arsalaan. 

His guilt and remorse were killing him from within every single day. 

He did not deserve this pure woman. She was an angel, just like her name suggests. And maybe, he is just a little too selfish to let her go just now. He wanted to know what it'd feel like to be taken care of, he wanted to feel loved and protected. After his parent's death, he had no one but his sister, whom he spent his whole life, pampering and loving her. 

But somewhere deep inside, he too craved for that kind of love from someone. Someone who he'd call his own. Someone who will be his strength and support, and deep down he knew it was never possible. But still, he craved for it. Sure, his sister loved him too. But he didn't feel as loved or cherished for she was too young herself and he was just a little boy who has lost his parents.

And only today he realized, that someone is none other than his wife. If he can even call her that, he regretted the day he ever forced her to marry him and ruined her whole life. Moments ago, he was crying on his prayer mat begging Allah for forgiveness. But right now, he is going to be a little selfish and enjoy the love and concern which he has been deprived of for all these years. What is going to happen in the future can wait. With an inward sigh,  he closed his eyes and waited for Malaika to bring his food. 

Malaika on the other hand frowned at Arsalaan's Chachi, who has been ignoring her like she didn't exist in the kitchen at all. Honestly, she had no idea of why his family never speak with him like how a normal family would and she had no time to ponder upon that as cooking food for her husband was far more important at this moment. The word husband made her feel all giddy from the inside, which she ignored as the house help cooked her suggested food whilst she fought that smile forming on her lips. She was clueless as to what to feed a sick person, but bless the helper lady, she smiled at her and said to leave it upon her.