Kokichi Ouma Oneshots! [REQUESTS OPEN]

a well-deserved explanation of what's happened

hiya, long time no see, eh?

yeah. i think it's been a good while.

i have a lot of explaining to do, don't i?

well, if you're not interested or to those sensitive to implications of planned (but thankfully unsuccessful) s--cide, you can simply skip to where i indicate this sob story for my disappearance ends

and to those interested, alright, okay. i'll start from the beginning of this book, then.

years ago, i fell in love with kokichi ouma and the idea of him. and so, as i was hyperfixiating on the fandom one 2am, i thought it'd be a cool idea to just pull some romantic, poorly-thought-out plots and decent-enough writing and decided to make that cringey introduction you've all probably read and cringed at the day you found this trashpit.

i wrote the first two oneshots just for the fun of it. there was no plot, no thought to it at all; i just thought it'd be funny to write it. and, it was, though i really didn't expect those chapters to blow up and for people to actually like the writing. looking back on it now, it's really sucky, but at the time i thought i was the best.

so, i wrote what's been requested of me. i had fun with it. i made good acquaintances with the people in the comments at the time who really enjoyed my garbage. it was fun, and it kept me going through the sad and the happy days. i thought of this book endlessly. i stayed up in school nights writing and revising the oneshots and ideas, i secretly pulled my wattpad open during my biotechnology classes, and all of that stuff. i was obsessed with this book and every comment made me feel like i was some professional writer achieving tons of love for a flawless tour de force. though, i did slightly know at the time that i wasn't the best, i felt like i was. all of the supporters from this book were absolutely amazing.

though, things in my life started to waver. my mom told me to cut contact with my childhood friends for as long as my grades were slipping, my school friends became more and more vulnerable to the distress they so hardly tried to avoid, and even someone as annoyingly bright and carefree as i felt things were off. and so, i hyperfixiated on this famdom–this book, for weeks on end. which, really didn't do my grades any good. i obsessed over writing for this book. i wrote and wrote and wrote until i just passed out, whether in class or in bed.

and then i exhausted myself from this book. i couldn't feel it anymore, the wave of euphoria i did when the book's views increased by 2 or when someone commented on some dumb line of text in one of the oneshots. i got tired.

though, i didn't stop immediately. i still pushed myself to write. i really loved you all, and i wanted to just write and write and lose myself in the unprofessional writing that was the soul of this book. i wanted something to hyperfixiate on, and when nothing else was there, this book was.

and then things in real life became harder and harder to drown out with the words i've repeatedly typed. it became a little too much for me. and my closest friend was distancing zirself from the fandom because of trauma ze'd gone through, which further fueled my demotivation.

i simply wrote less and less, until i decided to stop writing overall. some days, i'd reread the multiple comments i'd received in an attempt to guilt-trip myself into writing something. other days, i'd avoid wattpad for hours on end.