The Sun Will Rise | T Shelby

thirty two

Angelina sat on her bed, her knees hugged to her chest and her head resting on her arms. Rain was lashing against the windows and along with the crackling of the flames in the fireplace, there was no other sound in the house.

She had left Thomas two weeks ago on the day she found the letter. She'd barely eaten and Lorenzo had to force her to bathe and drink water so she didn't completely lose herself. She cried herself to sleep for those fourteen nights and planned to do so every night until she felt like the pain had subsided. So far, it had only gotten worse.

"Lina, please talk to me."

"What is there I can say?"

Lorenzo sighed as he sat opposite his sister who was a shell of the happy woman he'd watched her become by Thomas' side. Only he'd gone and ripped any shreds of happiness she had and threw them onto his own fire.

"You have to talk to process your feelings, to heal."

Angelina sniffed and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her dress.

"I'm still heartbroken. I still feel like I'm completely empty inside. Every day is the same, I don't feel anything inside anymore apart from pain. But I still love him with every bone of my body."

Lorenzo sighed. He hated seeing his sister like this and it had happened far too many times since she moved here from Rome. He had loved seeing her blossom and change, and he was so proud of the way she handled everything that Small Heath had thrown at her, especially becoming a mother. But now, she had nothing left.

"I can't sleep, I feel sick with worry about Max and I just..." her voice broke and she looked up at the ceiling to try and dry her eyes, "I just want him here with me. I miss him so much, I spent every day with him since Tommy brought him home."

Angelina had wanted to take Max with her when she left the family home. Thomas had barely been around for the last two months before they split and she wanted the best for Max, knowing that she could give it to him. Thomas didn't agree, saying some hurtful words that twisted the knife in wounds he'd already inflicted on Angelina.

She was without everything she loved, it seemed like every time she got close to being happy, the universe pulled her backwards and threw her onto a bed of thorns.

Lorenzo left for work not long after and Angelina was left alone in the house again. Time passed without her even noticing, minutes, hours and days were all the same to her now. If someone had asked her what day it was, she wouldn't have been able to answer.

A knock at the door forced Angelina to stand up for the first time all day. She shuffled over from the sofa to the door with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and opened it slowly, hiding behind it as she peered around the wood at the visitor.

"Angelina."

Thomas breathed a sigh of relief and smiled as he stood on the doorstep in the pouring rain, the pram they'd bought for Max together was next to him.

She said nothing, only pulled open the door to let him and the baby through and out of the cold.

Angelina pulled the blanket down from the pram and smiled down at Max as he slept soundly. She picked him up and held him in her arms, his scent and his tiny breaths brought back the only new feeling she'd had outside of sadness since she'd left Tommy.

Thomas sat down on the sofa with his hands clasped, leant forward with his arms resting on his knees.

"I can't do this. I can't do this without you."

Angelina ignored him and continued to soak up every moment with her son, pressing her lips against his head and brushing her fingertips through his dark hair.

"Please talk to me Angelina, God please?"

"I have nothing left to say to you."

Tommy sighed loudly and threw his head into his hands.

"Please," he jumped to his feet and stood in front of Angelina, forcing her to look at him, "Say something, anything. Tell me how you feel."

She looked up at him with a vacant, unbothered gaze.

"I wish I'd never trusted you."

The sadness behind his eyes was haunting. He looked in pain and Angelina knew it. He was hurting badly, he hadn't been able to cope without Angelina. For a long time, he didn't want to admit how much he needed her in his life and for the most part, he was too naïve to realise how much of a blessing she was. It was only when she walked out on him that he noticed the gaping hole that was left in his home and in his heart in her absence. He was cold and afraid, he felt like half of the man he was without her by his side. He couldn't care for Max, his cries only ever silenced by the touch of Angelina. He was falling to pieces without her, but it was all too late.

"Angelina I'm so sorry. I know I've broken your trust, I've broken our family, and it's the worst thing I've ever done. I don't know how many more times I can tell you how much I regret what I've done to you, to us."

Angelina rolled her eyes.

"You can tell me everyday for the rest of your life. The bottom line is that you broke my trust Thomas, again. You've hurt me, again, and this time I don't think I can recover from it."

"You don't mean that."

Thomas spoke in a whisper, stepping closer to Angelina. He held her face in his hands and she avoided his gaze, looking down at their son as he slept in between them.

"I meant every single word."

"No," Tommy said quietly, shaking his head as his fingers touched her skin for the first time in what had felt like an eternity to him, "No Angelina, please. Please come home, let me show you that I've changed. I can't be who I am without you."

Angelina scoffed, looking up at Thomas as he desperately pleaded with her, "If who you are with me is a partner who cheats and ruins families, I think it's better if I stay away from you."

Tommy's hands fell from her face to his sides. He didn't know what else to do. His life felt dark everyday and he didn't know when it'd be light again. It was like the sun had set the day Angelina walked out on him and it hadn't risen again since.

"I love you."

Angelina looked at Thomas.

"You don't. You can't. You cannot possibly love me or you wouldn't have even let the thought of being with another woman while I was at home with our son cross your mind. You don't love me, Thomas, you never have done."

"You're wrong," he pointed a finger at Angelina, his jaw clenched and an undertone of anger in his voice, "I've loved you from the minute I set eyes on you. There's not been a single day that I haven't thought about you. All I've ever wanted was to see you happy and to love you the way I know I can. I want to give you the life and the happiness you deserve. Whenever you cried, pieces of me inside broke and cried with you. I held you when you were upset and I was there when you needed me. I cared for you, loved you, I let you inside my head and told you my feelings, I gave you every single part of me Angelina and I've never let anyone in like that, and I never want to let anyone else in."

"Then why did you fuck someone else?"

He just looked at her, breaking inside behind his eyes. He couldn't give her an answer. He couldn't even give himself one. All he knew was that out of all the bad things he'd ever done in his life, if he could go back in time and change one thing, it would be that.

"I don't have the hope left in me to believe anymore of your lies."

"Let me give you the hope back Angelina, please. One chance, that's all I'm asking."

She just looked at him. She knew deep down that she had to put her feelings first, realising that she couldn't survive another heartbreak.

"I'd sooner have died next to Alfie Solomons than trust you again."