The Sun Will Rise | T Shelby

thirty five

"Angelina! Angelina wait!"

Angelina was heading back to Lorenzo's house later that evening to pick up something for Clara while she stayed in the pub being watched by Charlotte.

Her walk was interrupted by Arthur who was calling her name and frantically running down the street to catch up with her.

"Hi Arthur, it's been a long time."

Angelina smiled and Arthur blushed a little, smiling and pulling her into a hug.

"How are you? I've been looking for you to talk to all day."

"Good thank you, how have you been? How is Jack?"

"We're all great, he's grown so much you should see him."

Angelina smiled and suddenly felt guilty at the fact she'd had no contact with her godson since he was born.

"Well I was just on my way to get something for Clara so maybe I'll see you la-"

"Wait-" Arthur said, holding her attention and forcing her to stay put, "I've been needing to talk to you. I had no idea you'd be at the wedding, part of me thought you wouldn't come."

"Part of me didn't want to." Angelina replied quietly, mumbling slightly.

Arthur sighed and folded his arms at his chest. Angelina could tell he had something on his mind.

"It's been six years, Angelina, and, and he hasn't even-"

"Look Arthur," Angelina let out a frustrated breath and rolled her eyes, "I don't need you to tell me how much Thomas regrets what he did, he's already told me that today."

"You don't get it, Lina. He can't move on. He physically and emotionally can't. He won't let himself touch another woman, he barely even speaks to women wherever we go. It's been six whole years and he's done nothing. All because he's still hung up on you."

Angelina gulped. She felt glad that Tommy was feeling the repercussions of his actions and she was happy that the guilt was eating him alive. She also felt upset. She didn't understand why he'd refrain from women for six years when he still held all this love for her, but he couldn't stop himself when they were together.

"What do you expect me to do? I moved on, I got married, then divorced, and I have a daughter now. I don't know what you want me to do here, Arthur."

Arthur just stared at her. He looked deep into her eyes and for a second, a million and one memories of the two of them flashed through her mind. She was happy when she first came here, meeting Arthur was the catalyst in her life in Small Heath, their relationship kickstarted everything for Angelina.

"I know you still love him. I know you do."

"No, I don't."

Arthur chuckled, narrowing his eyes at Angelina.

"So you're telling me that when you saw him today, your stomach didn't drop? You didn't get that feeling in your gut? You didn't get butterflies when he looked at you and you didn't suddenly get flashbacks to the time you were together? None of that?"

Angelina looked down at her shoes. Arthur was right, she experienced all of that, but the memories that played in her mind weren't all happy ones.

Her stomach did drop, and she did get that feeling in her gut, she felt everything Arthur was talking about and it was so beautifully painful for her that she didn't know what to do apart from pretend like none of it even happened.

"You can't just let feelings like that go, darling."

Arthur smiled at her, his voice soft and gentle.

"I...I-"

Angelina stuttered over her words and Arthur pulled her into his chest, hugging her tightly and rubbing her back. She tried desperately to stop herself from crying as she was forced to process her emotions from earlier that day, regardless of how much she'd tried to forget about them.

"It's alright sweetheart," Arthur took Angelina's face in his hands and looked into her eyes with a kind smile, "He loves you, he's never stopped loving you. You know I'd never lie to you, all I want is to see you happy. I know Tom makes you happy."

Angelina sniffed and nodded. She did despise Thomas, she hated him for what he'd done to her, for breaking her heart, breaking promises, and breaking the bond she'd formed with their child.

It hurt, and it still hurt just as bad six years down the line. But what hurt more was not having him around. It hurt Angelina to not wake up beside him, to not smell his cologne or see his smile. She missed the way he'd hold her without saying anything and the way he whispered sweet nothings in her ear when they were out together. She missed the way he'd look into her eyes like they were the only thing in the world, she missed the feeling she'd get in her stomach when he laughed and the way he kissed her at every chance he got. Thomas had become a piece of her and she hadn't realised that she'd truly lost it until now.

Footsteps on the cobbles behind them made Arthur drop his hands by his side and look over his shoulder. He mumbled something before walking back inside The Garrison.

Thomas stood with his hands in his pockets a few feet away from Angelina. Tommy thought how broken she looked. She looked shy and reserved, quiet and unsure of herself. This wasn't the woman that he'd fallen in love with and it wasn't the woman that he knew Angelina wanted to be.

"Would you like a tissue?" He spoke.

Angelina just shook her head, her hand crossing her chest and holding her other arm.

"I thought you might listen to Arthur, I know you always liked him more than me."

They both chuckled, Angelina smiled slightly and dried her eyes with her little finger.

"That's not true," she laughed, "But I do believe him more than I believe you."

Tommy just nodded and licked his lips.

"I'm sorry."

"I know," Angelina said, "I know that. It's all you've said to me today."

Tommy scratched his chin and pointed over her shoulder in the distance.

"That lamppost," he began, "You remember when I kissed you underneath there?"

Angelina peered at the lamppost and nodded.

"I was in love with you and you didn't know. Do you remember when Kimber had a gun to my head on your door step?"

She nodded again.

"I was in love with you then, and you didn't know. I wanted you to be the last thing I saw if I was going to die. Remember the races? Remember the time Arthur saved you from the street and you were in the garage? Remember the first ever night we spent together? I was in love with you, Angelina. I've always been in love with you. And right here, right now, I am in love with you."

Angelina didn't know what to say. She wasn't used to having Thomas pour his heart out, he was never a man that was good with words in that way.

"I can't ever give you an answer to why I did what I did, and I can't ever apologise to you enough for breaking your heart and breaking our family. I want you back, Angelina. I miss you and it's fucking torn me apart every day since you left. I don't know how I'm still here in one piece."

Angelina looked up at him.

"You're still here because you're Thomas Shelby."

"I'm not Thomas Shelby without you by my side."