The Sun Will Rise | T Shelby

thirty six

Angelina was stood on the train platform, suitcase in one hand and her daughter's grip in the other.

The smell of smoke from the trains and the sound of heels on the concrete filled her senses, her palms sweating as she stared at the empty track before her, waiting for her train to pull into the platform.

Clara was mindlessly chatting to her mother, though Angelina was doing anything but paying attention to her. She wasn't sure what she was doing. Her mind was confused and she had felt nothing but sickness since she'd arrived in England, though now as she was about to depart, there was no ease of the pain, no sense of relief.

"Can we visit Enzo more, mama?"

Angelina looked down at her daughter who was stood beaming up at her, her hair in two plaits down her back, tied with yellow bows that matched her sundress.

"Maybe, darling."

Lorenzo had dropped them both off at the station earlier that morning. Angelina had refused to tell her brother anything that Arthur or Thomas had said to her, banning him from asking any further questions about it.

When she was stood before Thomas for the first time in six years, Angelina had felt almost lost for words. There were six long, lost years that were struggling on her lips and for the first time in their lives, Thomas had been the one that did all the talking.

His words had affected her in such a way that everything she had thought about saying to him, all the things she wished she'd said before she left, she couldn't say. She felt like she could barely breathe and she wasn't completely sure that the world was still turning as Thomas Shelby stood before her and begged for her to take him back.

It was no secret that Angelina had thought about what life would be like if she had stayed with Thomas. Would she have been happy? Would the huge house, the stables and the maids have given her the life she'd always dreamed of? When she was going through her divorce with Clara's father, she often wished that she had stayed with Thomas. Life was hard for a few months and Angelina and Clara struggled for money while the divorce was being sorted. There were nights when Angelina would cry herself to sleep, wondering about how she was going to afford to buy Clara new shoes for school, or the doll that all her friends had. Their life had never been easy, but hearing her daughter's laugh and seeing the way her little eyes would light up when she looked at Angelina was enough to make her keep going.

The sound of the train rattling the tracks beneath the platform made Angelina snap back into reality. It pulled slowly into the platform and people began to board, though Angelina stayed firmly still.

"Mama, the train is here."

Angelina looked down at Clara with a weak smile. She took a deep breath and began walking towards the doors.

"Excuse me, excuse me please, sorry, Angelina!"

Just before she stepped onto the train, she peered over her shoulder as she heard her name being called.

"Angelina please! Don't do this, I can't watch you walk away again."

Thomas was stood on the platform, panting after running across the station, narrowly missing people as he tried to find Angelina and Clara before they left.

His eyes were desperate, they were a deep blue like Angelina had never seen before. He was pleading with her, he was begging, he had his heart on his sleeve still.

Tommy felt sick to his stomach. His heart was beating out of his chest and he had sweat dripping down his forehead. He'd tried with all his might to not go to the train station that morning. He told himself that he got his answer last night when Angelina couldn't bring herself to speak, convincing himself that he couldn't do anymore.

Only the pain of watching her turn her back on him and walk away had cut him deeper than it had the first time. Thomas couldn't understand how he could still be in love, and be even more in love with a woman he hadn't laid eyes on for six years. But he was. And he didn't think that he could survive the twist of the knife that was already in his back if she got on that train and he never saw her again.

"Angelina, Angelina please. I've loved you for longer than I can remember, and I'll never be able to stop myself from loving you. I've tried, believe me I've tried, but I can't. I'm nothing if I've not got you."

Angelina stared at Thomas, her bottom lip trembling. As she looked into his eyes, she recognised the same pain that had settled into her bones ever so gradually every day since she'd left. It was a pain that hit you all at once, but continued to cut you more every day until eventually, you became numb to the sensation.

Angelina and Thomas were the same. They shared the same pain and the same sadness, the same longing for the love that they had to return and heal the wounds that it had caused in the first place.

"Did you hear him, Mama? He said he loves you!"

Angelina wiped the tear from her cheek as Clara tugged on her hand excitedly, beaming up at her. She wasn't sure that Clara had ever heard her father tell her mother that he loved her.

"Mama!"

Clara yanked on her mother's arm, pulling her away from the train and in the direction of Thomas who was stood with his hands stuffed in his pockets and his lips slightly parted as he tried to breathe.

Angelina dropped the suitcase and ran the last couple of steps into Thomas' arms. The way she felt as his arms wrapped around her and his head buried into her neck was the way she wanted to feel for the rest of her life. It was as if she was watching the most beautiful sunrise after a century of darkness, as if all the doubt and the pain had vanished and her heart had been filled with the most breathtaking feeling of happiness that anybody could ever wish for.

She looked up at Thomas, her hands around his neck and his on her waist. She thought back to the first time they had met and the way he had immediately made her life more exciting. The way he'd looked at her was the way all girls wanted to be looked at. He looked at her with curiosity, with lust, with happiness, and with love.

"Oh Angelina," Thomas shook his head, resting his forehead against Angelina's and gazing at her, "If only I could turn back time for us."

"We can't watch yesterday's sunrise," Angelina whispered, "But we can watch tomorrow's forever."