Book #1 | A perfect life doesn't mean having a wealthy family, a stable job, true friends, and a loyal lover. Singto Prachaya almost had everything till he got into an accident and lost his memories. Months after the accident, unknown symptoms showe...
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BREATHE IN, BREATHE out.
It's been a day since Singto managed to hear the truth for the second time about his condition. What can possibly be worst than losing his memories? Of course, it would be losing his sanity while accepting the reality at hand. He felt suffocated, and no matter how hard he tried to remember- he only got a headache in return.
Gun and New were patiently waiting for him to open up. It was hard when the whole universe witnessed how miserable and vulnerable he is at the moment.
The name Krist haunted him like he's a wild rogue beast since yesterday. If only he could shut down his mind for a moment to find peace, but he knew that it's impossible. Krist's lurking in his mind and anxiety built up within him every second of the day.
Where did he go wrong in life?
Singto wanted to ask and seek an answer. He had his mom and friends behind him till now, and he wanted to believe that he was a good son and a friend. But, how? When the universe was against him for living a good life- taking his precious memories away from him.
"Aren't you tired of thinking?" Gun finally asked after a long moment of pure silence.
"Is there anything he should think about?" New asked back with sarcasm evident in his voice.
"Will you stop, New? We're here to comfort our friend, not to add fuel to the fire. What's your problem anyway? Why are you acting like a baby all of a sudden?"
"My problem? My problem is that our friend here isn't acknowledging our presence since yesterday. Now tell me, am I going to chill this out? Because my answer is a big no, and his action couldn't chill me out, Gun."
"Of course, chill it out. If there's someone who could understand the situation, it would be the two of us. All we need is patience because we're dealing with a friend who just lost his memories and the man-"
"You can leave if ever I'm making you uncomfortable. I need space and time to think on my own, guys."
"So, you don't want us to be here?" New asked, almost gone mad.
"New. . ." Gun warned with a stern voice.
"News flash," New pointed his finger at Singto, who was silently watching the whole city in front. "I won't be here if you need me. I'm losing my patience, and still, you're ignoring us like we're not your friend!"
"Am I your friend?" Singto took a glance at his friend, who's mad just like him. "Why did you lie to me about this man named Krist? Why is everyone lying about his death when I saw him the second time I woke up today?"
"W-What are you talking about, Singto?" Gun asked, stuttering while hearing nonsense from his friend.
"He was in my room, and he told me his name. I may not remember him or all of you, but I can tell when a person is telling the truth. Then tell me, why did you lie to me?"
"We didn't lie to you about Krist. What do you mean that you saw him? He's dead- and you have to accept the fact that your lover isn't coming back anymore, Singto." New spat before leaving the garden at the rooftop.
Gun bit his lower lip while intently looking where New went off. If New was confused, how much more he is? No one lied. Krist wasn't blessed enough to survive the accident and was dead upon arriving in the hospital the night the accident happened.
It was a miracle that Singto managed to live. What was even confusing was the fewer bruises on Singto's body- like someone protected him from harm.
"New isn't usually like this, Singto. I don't have any idea what's gotten into him lately, or maybe something came up with Tay."
"I understand," Singto took a glance at Gun and weakly smiled. "I understand how frustrating it could be not to be remembered by someone. I badly want to retrieve my memories and to understand where her anger is coming from- I'm talking about Krist's mom."
"That woman-"
"She told me that I killed his son, my boyfriend, just like what all of you said. How can I understand her anger toward me when I don't even understand myself? How did I even survive the accident? Why am I the only one alive?"
"Listen to me," Gun walked straight till he was in front of his crying friend. "Remember that you survived the accident because you deserve to live your life again, Singto."
"And Krist didn't deserve to live?" Singto looked away as he wiped the tears streaming down his cheeks.
"It's not like that," Gun cupped his face and weakly smiled. "Look, I'm so sorry about Krist's death. But what you said a while ago about us, lying to you? We're telling the truth, and that's the reason why Krist's mom was angry- that woman was always angry to you."
He swallowed the lump on his throat as he tried to understand what Gun said. Maybe what he saw was just a mere result of the accident, the medication, or the tiredness of his whole damn system.
If he knew the face of Krist, then he wouldn't doubt himself regarding what he saw.
***
SINGTO STAYED FOR a week in the hospital. Gun dropped by the hospital from time to time after his shift at a coffee shop. New was still upset and unable to comprehend the situation of his friend.
Not even a single soul wanted to move on from their loss. They mourned their heart out, bidding farewell to a young man named Krist in this world.
As he was about to reach his favorite place that became nothing but an empty studio, people were looking intently at him. They knew him and were saddened by what happened. His relationship with Krist was pure, and everyone could do nothing but be jealous of their one of a kind bond.
Indeed, fate was never an easy opponent.
"Singto," He read the letters found on the wall.
His mom decided to empty the studio. She was leaving no traces of Krist behind, not even in the apartment or in the house. Moving forward was the only option she could advise his son to do, and not to remember was for the best.
Singto decided not to open his social media accounts after buying a new cellphone and laptop. It's like he was dead and reborn afterward. He's like a new person, and not to see Krist's face was his decision. But one thing he could do for the last time is to attend the funeral, even if he'll be as far as he could from the raging crowd.
There was a knock at the door. Gun waved his hand as soon as Singto acknowledged his presence.
"Are you ready?"
"Ready or not," He replied, quite nervous about what might happen next.
The next few hours went like a blur. Singto was standing tall, far away from the coffin, from the crowd in general. He could see the sorrow in their eyes and believed that he's the sole reason for Krist's death.
"I'm sorry you have to go so early," He murmured under his heavy breathing.
The crowd began to disappear one by one- he was still there. A million times, asking for forgiveness from a person he couldn't remember the face.
"I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I felt so lost, and I must say, I don't even want to be found by anyone but you. How? If you're no longer here," He bit his lower lip and chuckled as he couldn't believe what he was saying at the moment. "Dumb me, and this amnesia of mine."
And then, he left without looking back to start anew.
