Book #1 | A perfect life doesn't mean having a wealthy family, a stable job, true friends, and a loyal lover. Singto Prachaya almost had everything till he got into an accident and lost his memories. Months after the accident, unknown symptoms showe...
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WAKING UP FOR the nth time in the middle of the night is no fun. After he passed out in the hospital, Singto woke up in his bed before falling into a deep slumber for the second time around. He was exhausted, not just because of the therapy, but his body gave up due to sequentially staying up till three in the morning.
Heaving a deep sigh, Singto slowly got up and went to his room balcony. The stars in the sky are twinkling, and it seems like the wind is embracing him from behind.
He remembered the events earlier, the journal entries, meeting Gun and New, having his first therapy course, and the weird young woman in the elevator with an infant. Stretching his numb arms due to the cold weather, Singto weakly smiled while thinking about the bucket list and the journal entries again.
Coincidence? Singto doesn't believe in such a thing. He believes that there's some explanation about the things that happened to him in the past few weeks. All he needs to do is to be patient enough till he finds the answers he's longing to have.
"What does the journal has been telling me from the very first day?" He asked himself, embracing the cold wind with eyes closed.
After a couple of minutes, Singto decided to get back inside and sleep until sunrise, or maybe not. He's staring at every glowing in the dark stars glued in the ceiling, covering himself with his thick blanket. As he let the memories of yesterday drown him, the handsome face of Krist never left his mind.
He's a beauty that no one can resist. The man he believed to be his forever completed the most difficult jigsaw puzzle of his life. Krist didn't notice that he gave another life to his lover and saved him from a miserable future.
But all Singto could think of at the moment is that Krist's never going back. Sad to say that all that's left are the memories- happy memories he could never dare to forget.
"I love you!"
***
HOURS LATER, SINGTO found himself quietly watching all the kids playing different games in the playground located at the orphanage. He settled down in his usual spot, feeling lonely without Krist's presence beside him. Now, he's missing how his dead lover talked about adopting kids and why he should start loving the idea of them.
If only he knew that Krist's would bid his goodbye too soon, then maybe he let Krist adopt Fiat a long time ago. He was selfish enough not to think about the wants of his dead lover. A simple act of kindness he couldn't do, and now the guilt is eating him alive.
"Singto,"
Singto looked up and saw Mother Superior smiling at him, acknowledging his unexpected presence. He smiled back, wiping the dried tears in his cheeks. The tears Singto was unable to notice as he continuously stared blankly at the kids while reminiscing the conversation he had with Krist.
"I heard about Krist," Mother Superior settled down beside Singto, staring fondly at the kids. "What brought you here? Do you want to talk about something?"
"I wanted to see the kids," Singto replied, letting his eyes examined the playground to search for a little boy named Fiat. "Is it okay to share my problems with you? I don't want to keep this from my mother and friends, but I think I'm going insane."
"You can always tell me your problems, and I will listen to them. I may be unable to feel your pain right now, but I can see it in your eyes. The thing is, you want to be free and accept that Krist isn't coming back, am I right? But something's stopping you."
Singto nodded, fidgeting his fingers from time to time. "I don't know why it's so hard to let go. I was hallucinating in the hospital, and I just thought that I'm the cause why he died- that maybe his mother was right all along."
"Listening to you right now, don't you think that Krist will be sad? When you were busy in the studio, Krist talked to me about you. Do you know what he told me?"
"That I'm so stubborn to handle every damn day?" Singto replied humorously.
"No," Mother Superior averted his gaze to the kids in front of them, shrugging his head while cracking a smile. "Krist told me that he still couldn't believe that a guy like you is with a guy like him. If you'll meet someday, somewhere, he wants to be with you again, Singto."
"We promised to each other to meet again. . ."
Sometimes, Singto wanted to be a child again. The only pain they would cry about is the wound that easily heals, not the heartaches that will last for a year or a lifetime. Even the saying, there's a rainbow after the rain- he's unable to see the rainbow no matter how hard he tried to search for one.
Isn't it applicable to me? The first thing Singto asked himself after calming the heavy storm in his life.
"And both of you will,"
No one can confirm if anyone has the chance to spend another lifetime, but he's glad that someone important to him believes that he'll have a real happy ending in another life.
Maybe they're not meant to be in this lifetime- just maybe.
Singto heaved a sigh, telling Mother Superior about what happened to him in the past few weeks. From the day they celebrated Krist's promotion, the accident, losing his memories, losing his lover, and to the uncanny events while he's in the hospital.
"After the surgery, I couldn't see him anymore. The doctor told me that I was getting better and better."
"Isn't it a piece of good news?" Mother Superior asked, a little bit confused.
"I don't feel like it because it's getting worst every day. I may be hallucinating about Krist, and when he left for good, something-"
"Singto," Mother Superior cut off Singto when she noticed that he began to get lost in his thoughts.
"Hmm?"
"Maybe deep inside you, accepted that Krist isn't here anymore. The Krist you were hallucinating about in the hospital? Maybe his mission was to rekindle your emotion, your memories, and maybe he already accomplished it all."
"What do you mean?"
"You told me that your memories came back, not all but most of it. When Krist died, you didn't feel the sadness and the pain that most people feel when they lost someone important to them. Those things, maybe that was the goal of your guilt in disguise- bringing back memories and emotions."
Singto put his hand in his chest, feeling his slow heart beating. With eyes closed, he could feel the lightness within. Thinking that Mother Superior has a point, a tear streamed down his cheeks as memories together with Krist flashed like a broken recorder in his head.
The memories are the happy moments in their life.
"We'll continue this talk some other time," Mother Superior said, handing Singto a small piece of paper. "Don't worry because I didn't open the note. Krist just told me to give this to you one day, and maybe today's a perfect time."
"Thank you!" Singto said and couldn't keep his eyes away from the paper. "By the way, where is Fiat? I was looking for him since I got here, but there's no sign of the kid anywhere."
"Pattadon? He got adopted almost two months ago, Singto." Mother Superior replied before leaving the playground to entertain a parent waiting in her office.
Singto was left dumbfounded in his seat, unable to process the news. He wants to be happy for the little Fiat. That's what all the kids in the orphanage are longing for, after all- to have a parent.
As soon as the clock strikes at noon, Singto finds his way out of the orphanage, still holding the paper.
