𝙰 𝚅𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜'𝚜 𝙶𝚞𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚂𝚞𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚕...

Miss Most Wanted

Aryn's P.O.V
I feel my fist clench under the table as I see Kade dip her, her brown hair starting to fall out her clip in the direction of gravity. She puts her fingers on his head, fixing his hair or doing something equally as affectionate. Since when did those two become so close? I thought they hadn't even talked from three years ago and why the heck did they show up together? I had seen her leave but not him.  Not with her anyway. My eyes narrow as I see Kade smile at something she says. It isn't his usual flirtatious one which puts me both at ease and on edge at the same time. She seems to have an effect on all of us. I see her grin at him. That dazzling smile that I'm once again looking at from afar. I roll my eyes. God, what is wrong with me? No. This isn't me. I'm not some loser who gets mopey over a girl. I'm the guy girls chase not the opposite way around. I nod, taking a sip of the champagne. Exactly, I'm not some obsessive stalker fixated on the one girl who rejected him.  I've already wrecked part of my reputation. For now, I think that's enough. I'm done fawning over her, saving her and hoping she'll say yes to the engagement. Whatever she's planning, I'm not longer a part of it. I lean back in my chair, feeling a bit more in control, a bit more like myself. I've never fallen for a girl. That's why I was so out of it. I feel my brain take back the reins from my heart, feel my sense slowly come back to me. If dancing with my best friend isn't a hint, I don't know what is. There's no point in chasing a girl who has been faking interest in me. If it's for her dad, there'll be other ways to get his approval. I know everything I said before, like her being worth losing it all is still true. However, I see  no point in doing that since I'm clearly not the guy she wants. I don't want to see her with other guys but I don't want her next to me either if she doesn't really want to be. I'm done playing the love struck little prince. I need to go back to being who I was before she really does wreck me. I catch sight of her walking towards me and I freeze. What is it with her? Why does just the thought of her coming to talk to me make my heart get all warm. I shake my head, closing my eyes. Nu uh heart, you've done enough damage already. I close my eyes. Brain, you know what to do.
"Aryn. Can we talk?"
My eyes shoot open, "Let's call it off. The engagement."
Her eyes widen and she spins around as if this is a hidden camera show and I'm pranking her.
"Are you serious?!" I can she's trying not to show get excitement  but it still hurts that she's this happy. I didn't think the prospect of marrying me was that unpleasant to her. I snap out of it. There I go again. Focus brain.
"Yes. I think we should keep our distance for a while too."
She nods like a bobble head, "I agree."
I scoff but give her one last nod before getting up and walking out the Hall. I ignore Kade who asks me where I'm going. I push past Kei but he hardly seems phased. I give a slight smile to Mr Crayton and give a weak excuse I know wouldn't pass if not for the amount of land attached to my name. Then I stroll up the stairs, hands in pockets, looking as unaffected as ever by what I just did. I can see my reputation once more building with every step I take. My cold untouchable demeanor cloaking me once again. They probably think I'm heartless but I know I'm not because it's beating loudly. Like thunder in my ears. It's telling me to go back to her, to screw the fact that I'm sure she doesn't like me, won't ever like me and try anyway but I don't listen to it. My brain is also working. Harder now than before. Pushing my legs forward, maintaining the deadly glare I'm wearing and reminding my heart that it is in control. I've been acting like this for all my life, falling back into it isn't hard. She just made me forget I guess. Who I'm meant to be. Who I'm expected to be. Maybe that was why I was so captivated by her. After all for the guy who's been pretending not to have a heart his whole life — nothing quite made beat it like her. I roll my eyes. Well it's  better this way. To live as if I'm heartless, that way no one will get the chance to confuse it like she did. I don't care if my heart thinks it belongs to her, it's still beating to keep me alive. And now as long as I live, I promise not to let myself be so easily swayed by her. I doubt any girl will have my attention like she did so I figure she's the only one I really have to watch out for. She's like my kryptonite — but I'm done playing Superman. Now I've gotten a small taste of heart break — I think I can build an immunity.  I sigh as I open my room door. But the thought of seeing her tomorrow or seeing her with one of the other guys... I step inside and slam the door closed behind me. Stop it Aryn. You made your decision. You broke off the engagement. You did the right thing. A good thing. She's happy. You're happy. It's a win-win, I tell myself but I know that's not true. She's happy. I'm not. It's a win-lose. You lost Aryn. This time you lost but better you lose the girl who doesn't like you than your heart who likes her too much.