ISSUES II outer banks

confessions

"Where we chose pride over character. but we can pick sides."

❥

"Here, that may help with the pain", I tell Sarah as I give her the weed that JJ gave me for this occasion, "But take care, it's from JJ cousin." At first, Sarah looks at me skeptically but then gives in. It will be a long night for all of us. "Are you in?", I ask Kiara as I walk over and she nods slowly so we share the rest of what we have quietly.

❥

"Hey, girls?" "Hm?" "If a jellyfish and a shark cross, do you think it would be a great mixture?", Sarah asks randomly and the three of us laugh. "Definitely", I reply not even thinking about the way it would look like but Sarah is happy with that answer and continues with more questions. "Cut the bullshit", Kie suddenly interrupts Sarah as she's asking her fifth random question, "You better tell me why I wasn't invited to your party last year."

"I.. I was hanging out with other people. I dumped you for them and I'm sorry for that. Really, Kie." "I'm also sorry for calling the police", Kie replies bluntly and the three of us laugh. "I knew it was you! Bella, you lied to me about it." "Of course we did", I chuckle, „I mean I told Kie not to call the police but I would also never tell anyone that she did. I was disappointed in you as well." "I know", she sighs, „I'm really sorry. We were really good friends, the three of us." "We were."

"We can start over", I give it a chance and suggest my idea. The girls look at me and nod. Wow, that's better than expected. I might have to thank JJ's cousin. "And we can go on a real double date anytime, Sah", I let her know as she was looking forward to this day and we trapped her instead of having a good time together. "I would say I'd join but then I'd have to have a boyfriend and I'd rather stay at home. But the six of us can hang out together anytime", Kie joins us.

"So you're not angry with me anymore?", I ask her cautiously. "I never really was. I was disappointed that you didn't tell me and scared that we would all separate", she admits, "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean any of it. Of course, you belong here, to this place and to me." "We would never separate and I accept your apology." 

"How did that even happen with JJ?", Sarah asks me, "I was really surprised." "I can't even imagine him being a boyfriend." "Me too", I chuckle and tell them about the moment we got together, "He was helping me a lot when Rafe and I had issues. He was the one who made me realize that I should break up with Rafe."

❥

"Hey, guys. Sorry for being late. I was-" "Cut it, Iz. We've been waiting for two hours", John B snaps at me as soon as I arrive at his house to meet the others. "I know and I'm really sorry for it. I was busy-" "Doing what?"

"Doing stuff", I mumble. The truth is, I was hanging out with Rafe. Ever since we got together, it's hard for me to keep up with both type of friends, pogues and kooks. Especially because of Rafe and Topper trying to make me stay away from pogues. So I would hang out with them all afternoon and thought I could join the pogues later on. If I leave at 6 p.m., Rafe would believe me when I say I go home to have dinner with my family. Instead, I'm at the chateau now.

"Stuff with your kook friends?", Kie scoffs, "You know what, I don't care. I'm leaving. We've waited long enough for her to come and all she says is ‚I'm sorry. I was doing stuff.' Doesn't sound like an appropriate appology to me." "Kie-" "Leave me alone." "I have to go as well", Pope informs us in a way friendlier way than Kie so I'm standing here with JJ and John B glaring at me.

"Care to give a better explanation?", John B asks me just as angrily as Kie, "Dumping us for someone like Rafe Cameron? Really?" The thing is.. I actually wanted to tell them about Rafe and I dating, I thought maybe they would get along better than they do now. Maybe they would be able to stop fighting for a moment to do me a favor but I was probably wrong so I don't even try it anymore.

"Bro, I'm leaving as well. It's late", JJ tells John B and for the first time today, they give me a soft look, "Come, Iz. I'm not letting you walk home alone." "Can I make up for this somehow?" "We'll talk about it tomorrow", John B nods but of course he has to add a comment, "If you're not ditching us again."

❥

"I really don't get it, you know", JJ begins in the middle of our walk home, "Why would you dump us for them? They just want you because you look hot but we are your real friends, Iz." "So you think I'm hot?", I ask him in return trying to make the situation better. There's not even an explanation for it. Topper was right when he told me that sooner or later, I would have to decide for one side. "Of course I do but that's not what I was talking about."

"Hey J", I say softly and stop him from walking as I lay my hand on his arm, "I'm really sorry. I know I shouldn't have treated you guys like this. You are my family, the kooks can't even compete with that. And I will try to fix it as soon as I can. Just give me some time, please." I was wondering myself if I was doing the right thing already but due to JJ, I know what I have to do. If Rafe is not fine with me meeting other people, especially my friends, I have to let him go.

"Alright", he nods but still looks extremely disappointed. I wonder why he is the one out of the four who's the most upset about it. Plus, he usually gets angry, not disappointed. "JJ-"

He stops me from continuing by suddenly grabbing my neck and pressing his lips onto mine. I'm surprised - no rather shocked - but that doesn't stop me from feeling safe as soon as he had grabbed. Why do I feel like that.. better? JJ is impulsive and has had enough girls for me to know that he won't settle down unlike.. unlike Rafe. Shit.

"What's wrong?", JJ questions as soon as I let go off him and look at him confused. "We shouldn't have done this.. I've got a boyfriend", I admit so at least he's aware of that. "Are you kidding me? You've got a boyfriend and didn't tell us about it? What else are you hiding? Are we even your friends or do you only hang out with the kooks.. Wait, the kooks. Who is it? Is it a kook?"

"I didn't mean to tell anyone about it. I'm sorry, JJ. Will you please keep this a secret?" "Seriously? You're kidding me, right? You've got to be kidding me. Who the hell is it? Is it Kelce or Topper?" "No!" "Wait.. Rafe fucking Cameron. It's Rafe, right? That's why you ditch us for him, to get laid by him."

"What the hell, JJ! I don't ditch you to get laid. Stop making it look like that. It's someone else from school. I meet him after school and then hang out with Rafe, Topper and Sarah." "Great, you're all over kooklandia." "JJ-" "Save it, Iz. I'm walking you home but I won't talk to you anymore."