ISSUES II outer banks

goodbye

"To John B and to Sarah. P4L."

❥

None of us wanted to accept what has happened to John B and Sarah but we knew that we would want to honour them. We all were grieving our own way but what we also felt the same pain so we made the decision to remember them in the pogue style easily. 

JJ and Pope are hacking the bark of the tree in John B's garden while Kie and I prepare the metal with fire so JJ can engrave John B's initials. "To John B", JJ toasts. "And to Sarah", Kie mutters next to me. If this wasn't sad already, I could focus on the good news that Sarah and Kie found back to each other. Before all of this happened..

We all share a look at each other and drink our beer before we bury personal stuff in a box under the ground. We've decided for things like a bandana and a compass as those have a special meaning to us and especially John B. We spend the night mostly in silence, everyone of us still needs time to deal with this.

❥

"Will you still love me when I get a tattoo?", JJ asks me suddenly while we're hanging out at his place. Ever since his dad was gone, it is a lot calmer. JJ is also way more relaxed regarding the situation with his dad. 

"What kind of tattoo?", I reply with a question first. I mean, of course I would still love him but it's interesting to know about his idea first. Plus, JJ is unpredictable, he could think about anything even if it doesn't have any meaning to it. "Pogues for life?" Oh, JJ.. 

"Baby", I smile probably for the first time since the desaster of last week, "J, stop asking if I will still love you if anything happens, I've even loved you when you took the fault for Pope. I mean, I actually liked you even more then because that's how you are. You're loyal and you care about your friends. You would do anything for us. You're the most caring person I know. So even if you wanted a stupid tattoo, I would still support you. I'm always supporting you, no matter what, J."

"Don't say that, Iz. You could get hurt with me or I could drag you down or-" "No, J. None of that will happen. And even if it happened, I would rather be involved than let you do it alone or be with someone else. And the fact that you're thinking about a tattoo about pogues is just a thing that you would do and totally fits your personality."

"I don't have the money to let someone do it so I would do it myself", JJ states and seems as if he wanted to check that no matter what, I would really support him. "Do you want it?", I reply easily. "Definitely. I also got the stuff to do it here already." "Then let's do it."

❥

I knew that JJ would be working in the club and I had some free time anyways so I thought I would go there for a drink and also visit him at the same time. Before I even see him running around, I hear Topper calling for me. "Hey, Bella", he smiles at me when he comes over and gives me a hug, "How are you doing?" 

"Better each day. How about you?" "I'm.. no I'm not fine but I'm working on it. Come, sit down with Kelce, Kim and I. You haven't seen her in ages." I look next to us to the table where Kelce and Kim sit and wave at me with a smile. 

I appreciate them being friendly and I really haven't seen Kim for a long time, probably since I stopped hanging out with the kooks except for Rafe and Topper. But I still couldn't do it. Kelce is too much involved with Rafe so they would remind me of him even when they're not talking about him. I just needed a few minutes in which I can be completely calm. 

"Thanks but no thanks, Top. I can come over soon again and talk to you but I'm not in the mood to talk to Kelce now. I'll just go over to the bar." "Are you sure? It's only Kelce and Kim, they're your fr-" "Top, it's not a personal thing with you or Kim. I just don't want to be reminded of Rafe when I see Kelce. So please, let's just enjoy the afternoon in our own way, alright?" "Okay. But call me", Topper finally gives in so I nod and promise him to do so.

I've watched the people here for a few minutes but mainly concentrated on JJ. JJ is hot, but in that outfit he looks in a good way different. I'm not used to seing him in a white shirt and bow tie so I'm enjoying this moment. JJ grins as he sees me and I smile as well but I also give him a sign to continue working. Michael would probably fire him if JJ didn't concentrate only on his work so I don't want to risk his job. 

When I watch JJ serving the people at the table next to Topper's, I already know this is not going to end well so I change my position and go closer to their table. "Of course he killed the sheriff", Kelce scoffs. Of course, they would talk about that..

"At least John B did what he had to do and so the state doesn't have to pay for his trial", Kim mumbles, "He's going to go to hell for what he's done to sheriff Peterkin." Wow. Not only is she talking complete bullshit but also is she being respectless.

"Guys, they're still investigating", Topper says peacefully and I'm glad to hear that he's being factual. "Yeah, I ask myself why. It's pretty obvious who it was." "Yeah, sure."

"Shut up, shut up Topper!", JJ suddenly snaps at Topper, although I felt like Topper was actually neutral. He doesn't like John B at all but still, he doesn't talk bullshit about him right now. "Stay calm, man. It's not the right time", Topper tries to calm JJ down and nods into my direction. 

JJ looks at me as well and I see that his expression changes quickly and his shoulders relax. "Have we talked to you, pogue?", Kelce adds provoking JJ once more making him freak out immediately. Great. Topper was making an effort, but Kelce ruins it. 

JJ quickly takes a bottle of water and strikes a fork against it to make the people look at him. "Can I ask for your attention please, I've got to tell you something. My best friend, John B, has not killed Sheriff Peterkin. It was Rafe Cameron. He has killed Sheriff Peterkin cold-bloodedly." JJ is only interrupted by Kelce scoffing. 

"That's how it happened. Iz, tell them", JJ suddenly points to me and gives me a desperate look when I don't answer because I'm shocked that he would talk about it at the club, "You've seen them." "Wow. You're not only talking bullshit but also dragging Bella down with you." 

"Don't mention her. Is it so hard for you to believe it, Kelc?" "It's extremely hard for me to believe that because it's always the kooks' fault, never the pogues. Plus, why would Bella see Rafe then, huh?", Kelce replies and stands up to face JJ but JJ quickly emties the bottle of water over Kelce and they grab each other. 

I give Topper a quick look and he helps me to intervene and they finally let go off each other. "I've told you, it's not the right place for that." "JJ." "Yeah, I know, Ray. I'm fired." JJ throws off his apron and leaves the balcony so I follow him. 

"J-" "Quit it, Iz. I'm done with your bullshit. Once it's me, another time it's Rafe or even John B and Topper. I'm not going to be a compensation for your daddy issues." "J-" "It's not worth it, Bella", Topper walks over to me and stops me from running after JJ to pull me into a hug.