ISSUES II outer banks

differences

"We could waste the night with an old film, smoke a little weed on my couch in the back room."

❥

JJ walks me home after the men have left. Kie has told me that she would stay with John B and Pope for a while and then go home with Pope. Luckily, my uncle and aunt are still working so JJ comes inside with me so we can finally spend some time together.

"I've missed you", he murmurs against my neck as he holds me from behind. I giggle. "I've been with you almost all day", I reply playing cool while in reality, JJ makes my heart beat faster and faster. 

Since we've started dating, I've been waiting for the day when this fairytail would stop. It's always the same. You fall in love, think that everything is perfect and then the fairytail ends and reality hits you. Nothing is as perfect as you think when you first get together with someone. At least that's what I thought before and after being with Rafe. His dad became more and more disappointed in him and Rafe didn't change in a positive way but started consuming drugs and going to more parties to get wasted. He didn't care about the consequences anymore.

❥

A few months before 

"When will you finally grow up, Rafe? Look at Sarah. She's good at school, she's going to have a bright future. Everything you do is hanging around with your friends. Even Wheezie is more mature than you and she's a child!"

"And when will you finally stop being so annoying? I'm trying to figure out what I want", I hear Rafe reply to his dad while I was waiting in his room for him to come back. He started a fight with his dad earlier and it's still going on. "Then try to figure out if you want that future to be with Isabella or not. She's not going to be dating an useless boy forever!"

"That's so typical of you. Whenever I'm not the son you expect me to be, you talk about Sarah and Bella. What for? You don't even care about her or me, only about your relationship to her parents." Maybe Rafe is right. I sometimes had that feeling, too. Why else would Ward be so nice around me? He's got enough to do with his job and three own children. I don't see a reason why he would care about me without an advantage for himself. But I understood it, I don't judge him for that. It's just hard for Rafe when he's being compared to Topper and every other child of his dad's friends. 

They argue for a few more minutes until I don't hear their voices anymore but footsteps instead. Rafe opens the door and lets out an annoyed groan. I thought about what I could say to him as soon as he comes back to his room but he goes to his closet and changes his shirt before reaching for the keys of his motorbike. "Are you coming?" His voice isn't soft as usual and it sounds more like a demand than a question.

"Where to?", I reply confusedly but also still nicely so he wouldn't become more annoyed. "To the party at Kelce's." "I thought we would stay here and watch a movie. We were at Topper's party just yesterday."

"Bella", Rafe sighs, "come on." "Seriously, Rafe, you promised me that we would stay here if I came to Topper's party with you and I did." "Please don't make a scene out of it", Rafe rolls his eyes now. Instantly, I'm taken aback. I wasn't even sure any more if I really make a scene or not. I hate when he's like that and when I feel like our conversation could turn into a fight. As soon as we fight, I start to blame myself for everything. To avoid it, I make a suggestion.

"How about you go to the party and I wait here for you? I'm really not in the mood to go to another party but if you want to it's fine." Rafe shakes his head and mutters something to himself which I can't hear. "I won't waste my time discussing this with you, honestly. I could have been at Kelce's hours ago but you wanted to have dinner with my sister and my dad. I'll stay with Topper tonight." Rafe grabs his jacket and opens the door so I try to say something but he's gone before I even finish my sentence. 

Now I sit here on his bed wondering if I should wait for him to come back or not. He probably would be angry if I leave. But if he stays with Topper tonight, I would have to wait here until tomorrow morning. "Didn't you leave with Rafe?", Sarah asks me as soon as she comes in. I guess she's heard us. "He promised me we would stay here", I laugh in frustration, "Did Topper go there alone, too?" "No, he stayed here with me", she says quietly, "Come on, we'll watch a movie all together."

But if Topper is here, where would Rafe stay the night?

❥

JJ didn't only make me rethink my opinion about relationships but also showed me that it can be different. Of course, not everthing with Rafe was bad and not everything with JJ is perfect all the time. I really hated the moment when he took out this gun and used it at the beach. But he had a good reason for defending John B like that and he still shows me how much I mean to him, he still gives me the feeling that he loves and cares about me. He didn't stop treating me well.

"Izzy", I hear JJ's voice louder now, "Did you hear me?" „Sorry, I was thinking about something", I reply biting my lip shyly, "What were you saying?" JJ looks at me worriedly now. "I don't want to put you in danger. I thought, maybe you could more like.. work in the background telling us what the next step is while we go treasure hunting."

So now he's being extremely cute. I mean, I'm trying to be as independent as possible and I would never let them do it without me. Just because I'm a girl, doesn't mean that I couldn't go treasure hunting. The five of us are a group and we will find the gold together. But I his intention behind it and I love how he shows me that he cares about me by hoping that nothing would happen to me.

"JJ", I whisper giggling, "You're an idiot if you think that I would let you do it alone. But as you've said it before, girls would kill to be with an idiot like you." "You don't have to do that anymore." "Luckily", I joke back and let him pull me into his arms so he can kiss me.