ISSUES II outer banks

dare or promise?

"I wish to do all the things with you that you read about in a magazine."

❥

"Bella", Wheezie grins when I walk through their garden and look for Rafe, "You're here. I haven't seen you for a week." I step up to her so I could give her a hug, "Yeah, sorry. I needed some time." She rolls her eyes probably knowing too much about her brother and I. "Was Rafe being possessive again?"

"Let's say he still has to get used to the situation", I smile to calm it down a bit. Rafe is used to being the "worse child" so I didn't want to be a reason why him and his sisters don't get along even more.

❥

"What are you doing here?", Rafe himself stands on the balcony that was built along his room on the second floor. Although I feel like he is angry with me for ignoring him the past week, his voice was soft and surprised. "Can I come up?", I ask just in case he doesn't want to see me. Rafe nods lightly so I go through the balcony door and upstairs.

"I didn't think that you would come so soon", Rafe starts the conversation his voice sounding offended. "It's not like I didn't want to see you", I say trying to avoid his glance. "You could have just messaged me if you really wanted." "I know", I sigh admitting that he is right, "I needed time, Rafe. You had no right to call me your girlfriend in front of my friends. I had to explain it all multiple times until they believed me."

"So, it's more important what those pogues think than what is between us?" Rafe suddenly laughs disappointedly. "You choose them over me?" I shake my head heavily. "It's not more important what they think. Can you just drop the kooks against pogues behavior for once, please? You mean a lot to me, Rafe, but we are not dating any more. And that's what I was afraid of, that my friends would think this although it's not true. Please, can we finally move on?" I literally beg the last part, take his hands in mine and look in his eyes so he can see that I don't mean to hurt him at all. 

"Do you really see no chance for us anymore?", Rafe asks sadly. His voice in combination with his sad looking eyes make me feel bad for all of this but I have to be honest with him and myself. "It's been over for me since I've told you." I nod. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Rafe, but you know the reason. It's not like I wanted to be without you. You know exactly that your behavior and your lies were the reasons for my decision and I won't take it back now."

❥

"Is there a chance that you take it back in the future?" Could I imagine myself being in a romantic relationship with Rafe again? Yes. It's simple as that. My main problem with him isn't his character or look or whatever. It was him constantly consuming drugs and lying to me about it. Don't get me wrong, I smoke weed with the Pogues from time to time but Rafe became addicted to cocaine. I changed him a lot. He became more aggressive which also caused him to hurt me once. I forgave him because I know that this wasn't the real him. But coke became his number one priority for what my help just wasn't enough. "Rafe, I don't think that this is going to work out again." I lie. He wouldn't give up if he knew the truth.

"Are you going to stay here overnight at least? I want you to be safe while the hurricane is happening", he ignores my last words but his voice finally was soft again. I smile while pulling him close but decline. "I think it's not the right time but I'm going to be safe, I promise." Rafe gives me a skeptical look. "Are you going to stay with the pogues?" 

"Rafe", I sigh again trying to make him understand that this is a part of the problem. "Sorry." When I walk out of his room, I bump into the next sorehead. "Bells, haven't seen you for days", Topper greets me, "And we don't live that far from each other." "Seriously, Topper?" I sigh rolling my eyes at him. 

"You shouldn't annoy her", Rafe warns our friend behind me. "As if you don't do that already", Topper retorts probably with a joking meaning but his voice was serious. "Anyways, I've just missed my friend." "Boys, I feel bad when you say that", I chuckle when Topper finally gives me a hug. "I'm sorry, I just needed some pogue time. Top, Rafe, don't think that I don't like you anymore. I'll come by tomorrow, alright?" "It will be an honor to us."

❥

"Come on, Izzy, surf with us!", John B shouts at me after he has turned around to watch me when he stood deep enough in the water. "It's raining, John B, there's a storm! The waves are too high for me anyways", I yell back and rub my arms watching the boys surfing during the storm.

It's not cold, I can easily stand here in shorts and a shirt but what bothers me is my anxiety. The waves are high and strong, the wind is blowing and it's raining. I'm not even a good surfer anyways. „I'll get her", I hear JJ say to John B although they were not as close to the land anymore. I already shake my head when JJ walks into my direction to show him that he can just keep surfing without me but becomes faster and his lips form to a cheeky grin.

❥

"You should have known that my answer is no. Why would you stop surfing to get me then?", I laugh when JJ pulls me close into his arms and throws me around, "You're wet!" "You're going to be wet, too", JJ whispers into my ear huskily probably thinking of two different things. I chuckle and slap his arm lightly.

"At least not while standing on a surfboard", I change the topic again. "Oh yes, now and later. Come on, Izzy", JJ pouts sweetly. He's incredible. I'm already wondering if I should really take my surf board and go with him. I mean, it would be right next to me. Not having it with is not a good excuse. 

"I'm going to reward you later on if you come with me." JJ lays his hand under my chin. „Jay, John B could see us", I warn him cautiously. "Baby", he grins goofily, "I love how skeptical you are but John B is surfing, he doesn't notice anything that we do. He wouldn't even notice if I fucked you right here."

He loves? Could that mean that...? No, JJ said that just as it came to his head. Still, I gasp surprised about the other part of his comment. Before I could even decide if I want to look away embarrassed or join him in that kind of conversation, he continued.  „Iz, you should enjoy your life from time to time. We're just surfing. I promise you that nothing is going to happen to anyone of us except for having fun", JJ promises me softly.

„Okay", I agree and take all of my confidence since I'm not used to talking like that, „How about the other part? Was that a dare or a promise?" JJ thinks about it for a moment and then gives me one of his cocky grins, „Both."