Chapter 2

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"No. Not at all Ari! Are you crazy? I am not doing this." Ra Im yelled.

"Please, you know Ra Im I have no other way!"

"No other way? And you are telling me this is a way? To transform you into a boy and let you go into a boyband. And that too BTS? They are worldly renowned girl, get your head straight. You'll be caught in a second."

"At least I can give it a try" I mumbled.

"Still no."

"I am just asking you to prepare me a fake ID, you can do it, your brother is in police, right?"

"Girl, I really want to help you! But, this? This is illegal. He won't help me with this. Not at all!"

I could feel a spasm of dejection riding over my face. My blood as if turned cold, after a long time I had this little hope and watching it crumble in front of my sight was hurtful.

"Forget it Ra Im, I'll make a way for it." I turned away from her slowly measuring my way out of her apartment, I really thought she would help me.

"Ok. Wait. Let me think."

My instant reaction was hugging her, I knew that she would do it for me. But, am I doing wrong in involving her in all this. We just need to collab in an album, after that I'll go away. Far enough that they would never find me. I think, I'll have that much money and then I'll continue my beatboxing career abroad, they don't have such stringent beauty norms.

"About that ID, I don't think my brother would help. But, I can. I'll get it for you, my friend can do that. Now comes your transformation."

She pushed me a little by my shoulders to make me sit in front of a little mirror, and honestly I was scared glancing at her through the mirror, her scissors in my hair and a pensive gape on her face.

My chest was bounded by a chest binder and my hair hanging only an inch below my ear. She let the my black locks cover my forehead in a sense that they look manly bangs. And after a long time, I felt beautiful. But, a beautiful man. Handsome, I meant to say.

"I'm asking this once more, are you sure you are doing this?"

The new look shot an lightening arrow of confidence in my dark universe and as they say a drowning man will clutch at a straw, I nodded, oblivious of what I was doing and what I was making her do. But at least, my conscience was clear.

My heart only reconsidered my commitment when I was standing in front of Hybe Labels office building. Sweat was circling the inner side of my palm, and the small hair at the back of my beck raised as an indication of how scared I was.

"Ari, for the last time, are you seriously doing this?"

I inhaled deeply. Yes, I gotta do this. This is the only way I can get that money without losing my dignity. Though I lose my identity.

"Here" she handed me the fake ID, "you are not Park Ari now you are Park Soo. Remember, Park Soo. Mind your tone huh! Hyung instead of Oppa and Noona instead of Unnie. You get that?"

I nodded. My throat felt too heavy to form words, so I coughed a little to clear it out. All kind of questions bubbling in my mind and one constant one at each end- I am not doing a right thing. The chest binder made it difficult to breathe but as Ra Im says, I'll be accustomed to it. Feels like thought gremlins are in charge of my brain, I glanced furtively over shoulder to give Ra Im a final nod till I entered the audition room. Slowly the line was becoming shorter and my chance was approaching, my heart was beating in my throat. This actually turned into a a beating box, beatbox!

As it was my turn I had the urge to run but where to? I have to face it, just at that moment by phone rang, the hospital. All the ominous thoughts and fear were forced out of my mind to make place for one - now or never. I entered the room and there among the judges were three people I don't know and RM. Yes, Kim Namjoon, the leader of BTS. And I may sound like a beauty digger, but he was goddam gorgeous. He had a face shape that's somewhere between oval and heart shaped, puffy monolids, very wide set eyes with a gorgeous almond shape. Heartwarming smile is accompanied by some adorable ass dimples. And yes, they're iLLeGal.

But, he was the only one who was smiling. Rest had that dead pan look on their face. Scary. They skipped the introductions which I was very fortunate they had and moved straight to the audition. I started off with a bilabial lateral fricative. These sounds are "judged impossible". If you hold a falsetto note while making them, you're doing a pretty good robot-style noise. And I am a falsetto. Judging by the expressions, I could say they were impressed except one and that was RM. Obviously, a world famous group they need a professional.

But, no problem. Skill. That's all I have. I decided to give my best shot and even though I know it would strain my vocal chords a little, it's a do or die situation.

Epenthesis. It sounds like using two mouths. But not, of course. I stuck extra sounds right in the middle of the words - what linguists call epenthesis. But because we are used to hearing the words as language, our mind processes them on one track and the beatbox sounds on another track. I tried my best so that my beatbox sounds don't force the tongue and lips to make a big detour from the word. And, I assume it turned pretty great as I felt the tension ease in the room as Namjoon's face muscles relaxed and he noted something.

I stopped abruptly as one of the judges stopped me showing me his hand.
"Park Soo?"

"Y-yes."

"You are pretty great but.." he looked at Namjoon who was still noting something.

Come on. I gave my best. I think my talent is not as great as I presumed it to be.

"We don't want singers" Namjoon continued. My eyes widened, I shouldn't have sung! I was too much in the flow.

"You can try to audition for being a singer cause I really appreciate your talent and I don't wa-"

"No. I just want to be a beatboxer." I interrupted. Do I sound desperate? But, I was. I don't know when I can be a singer, and how much time it will take and that's one thing I don't have.

"Bu-"

"Welcome to our team." Namjoon cut off the judge's remark and that took me to an utter surprise as if someone just replaced the hard floor underneath me to a vibrant grassland, as if butterflies flapping their colorful wings around sunflowers. I was dazing off, I reckoned. Shaking off my daydreaming, I bowed and mouthed multiple thank yous.

"Umm.. one thing.. " I stuttered not knowing how they would react.

"Hm?"

"Can I be paid in advance?"

I could watch the frown on their faces. "You will be paid in advance!" One of them stated.

"No no. I want the entire pay in advance."

"Can I ask you why?" Namjoon questioned.

"Some personal issues."

"That would be difficult Mr. Park." One of the judges stated with a grave expression. I have to persuade them at any cost.

"I'm sorry but I urgently need eight billion won."

"EIGHT BILLION?"

"Please. I insist. I will do anything." I pleaded.

"Mr. Park, we really want to recruit you but that is an unreasonable plea." Namjoon insisted. His sudden conversion from informal to formal speech gave me chills.

"I will work for your company till whenever you want. I will give my very best. Just help me this once. Please."

My offer did dissuade their resolve and they finally agreed but I got myself into a greater issue. I cannot work for them for forever. I just cannot. But, currently I was euphoric of the success as I rushed towards the hospital straight.

Areum, I did it.

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