Distraction - A BakuDeku Story

~ Chapter 1 ~

1. ~ The 'Girlfriend' ~

Katsuki was tired, and frankly, he was pissed off. Being the number two hero and half of the Wonder Duo was his dream, really he was fucking ecsatic to have acheived it... But the fucking publicity definately made him have days where he wanted to explode every media device he owned and retire to a desserted island in peace.

In today's headlines:
 

Dynamight’s mystery lover! Who is she!?

Great Explosion Murder God has a Dynamight date!

Dynamight lover: hero spotted exiting nightclub with brunette

2am booty call for No.2 Pro-Hero!

You get the fucking jist.

Katsuki scrolled a bit further down his newsfeed while lying on his couch, groaning at the shitty clickbait titles. Did he go out and get absolutely fucking rat-arsed last night? Yes. Did he do it on purpose? Yes. Did he intentionally pick up some random chick who threw herself at him? Unfortunately, yes.

However, in his defence, he only did it to get his mind off of a certain green haired, green eyed fucker. Yeah, you heard that right. 

Over the years they'd gone from childhood friends, to rivals, and now hero partners. After the events at UA, Katsuki had started to lay off Deku, a lot. He didn't walk ahead of him anymore, he walked beside him.... And proudly too. 

There was a period of time when he wouldn't even refer to him as Deku anymore, but Izuku had put a stop to that after a few months of constant protesting.

 "It just doesn't feel right Kacchan, don't force yourself ok? I appreciate it, but it's really ok!"

He'd flashed one of his fucking blindingly adorable smiles, the one where his eyes closed and his cheeks blushed, and Katsuki had felt his whole fucking soul try to leave his body with the realisation that their relationship had firmly reentered 'friendship' territory.... and that he possibly wanted it to go much further than that. Then all Katsuki had to do was not fuck it up... too much. He couldn't just stop being a fucking prick overnight, but over the years he'd worked solidly to tone it down... when it came to Deku anyway. 

Only for Deku.

There'd been therapy, a shit ton of therapy, and some dark days, but Katsuki had finally come to accept that his shitty behaviour towards Deku stemmed from his own repressed feelings of inadequacy and his desire to be loved. All those years he'd warped Deku's love and admiration into him looking down on him, just to avoid the now painfully obvious desire to show love and affection back to the greenette. The need to always have Deku look up to him.

"Keep your eyes on me, shitty Deku."

Ultimately, Katsuki had bullied him as an outlet for his own insecurities and weaknesses. His need to dispel any feelings of needing Deku's praise and adoration led to some of the worst actions he'd ever taken in his whole damn life. Memories of those actions often still gave him nightmares, despite the years of therapy.

"...pray you have a quirk in your next life."

Katsuki wandered to the kitchen, putting his phone down on the counter while he poured himself another cup of coffee.

No wonder he got shitfaced and went home with random wasted strangers. How the fuck was he ever supposed to be good enough for Deku? How could he ever tell his childhood friend, turned victim, turned best friend and hero partner that he's madly, like seriously fucking crazily, deepy in love with him? 

Not gonna fucking happen.

Deku was a one off, and Katsuki had no doubt that broccoli boy was a true hero even before he got his quirk (ahem, eat this). He was too fucking good for everyone, and Katsuki definately didn't deserve him.

Katsuki leaned back against the counter, clutching his coffee cup to his chest, sipping the bitter black liquid slowly. Fucking Deku. Once he started unpacking his feelings in therapy in the third year of UA it had become quickly apparent, although he denied it of course, that he had very strong not-strictly-platonic repressed feelings for Deku.

At twenty-three, Katuki was now in a place where he could at least admit to himself that he loved Deku. Everything about him. Even the annoying shit. His mumble storms, and the way he titled his head while thinking, looking like a fucking adorable puppy. Those massive green eyes, that somehow shimmered with flecks of gold and emerald when he gazed in wonder... which he did constantly. The nerd found everything fascinating. Even now, he still asked random people on the street about their quirks, and wanted to talk to people regardless of their rank or profession. The difference was that now people wanted to talk to him too, their new number one hero.

And then there was the nerd's fucking hot ass body. Damn. He'd really come along since that little skinny kid in middle school. Now, don't get Katsuki wrong, he knew Deku had worked his butt off to get that body, and to maintain it. Deku had fucked it up often enough in those early years, but his scars only seemed to make him more attractive to Katsuki.

They just proved how strong Deku was. How far he would go to win....And that's why he and Katsuki balanced each other perfectly.

Win to save - Save to win. The symbols of peace and victory. The fucking Wonder Duo.

Secretly, Katsuki thought of them as soulmates in all honesty. Complete opposites, constantly drawn to one another, stuck in each other's orbits. They went together too perfectly to be anything else. Opposite poles of the same magnet, one always pushing the other forward, to be faster, stronger, better.

Now, if this is the case, why the fuck is Katsuki drinking himself into a stupor and hooking up at 2am with random extras on his days off? 

'Cos you don't fucking deserve him you fucker. You made his life hell. Just get your kicks elsewhere and don't fuck up what you've worked hard for with him. It would fucking ruin everything if he finds out!

Katsuki shook his head to clear his internal monologue, and reached for his phone which was vibrating on the counter. 

Huh, Shitty Hair calling. Probably seen the headlines, and is tryin' to make a case, again, for confessing to Deku. He can fuck right off.

Katsuki let the call ring off, putting his cup down on the side and rubbing a hand through his unkempt spiky hair. Kirishima was the only person, other than his therapist, that Katsuki had ever told about his feelings for Deku, and that was only because Kiri had caught him on numerous occasions staring at the greenette. Not always lustfully either. Often adoringly. Sometimes possessively. 

Shitty Hair had been nothing but supportive, trying to convince Katsuki that Deku likely felt the same.... But there were several problems with that statement, not least their complex past toxic relationship, and the fact Katuski didn't even know if Deku liked guys. As far as Katsuki knew, Deku had never dated or been with anyone romantically or sexually. 

Up until a couple of years ago, neither had Katsuki. He and Deku had always been so focused on reaching the number one spot that any thoughts of that nature genuinely didn't occur to them. Katsuki had known he loved Deku, but he wasn't gonna throw off his or Deku's shot at being number one by pursuing something and ruining their budding partnership.

Katsuki had at one time promised Kirishima that he'd tell Deku once one of the duo made the number one ranking. However, over the years the fear of ruining what they had, and reverting to their past dynamic, had snuffed that promise out. 

Then one night, Katsuki, Deku and some other pros had attended an afterparty to an agency networking event where there had been a little too much alcohol consumed.... and Katsuki had very nearly royally fucked everything up.

And so began his new coping mechanism... much to Kirishima's annoyance.