Soul not Included

Chapter 50

My fingers traced the curve of his face. His high cheek bones. His square jaw, his soft lips, his round nose, his long lashes. I flinched as i touched the torn skin but it didn't change how cold and smooth it was. I wanted to commit him to memory. Every part of him. 

I felt the Cullens appear not long after. 

I realized that... the others must have left to make sure that the Cullens would remain ignorant of what was going on.

There was a long silence and i continued to trace his face. Unwilling to think for the moment. Unwilling to say something. They'd piece it together themselves. They're smart. They'll figure it out.

"Isabella."

It was Edward. I pressed my lips together. I wonder how much Seth saw. That would help me think of what to say. I'm tired, though. Simon, I'm tired too. I inhaled sharply. The pain shooting up my body brought tears to my eyes again.

"Isabella... come, you can't stay here," he whispered.

I clutched Simon's bloody shirt, breathing in unsteady gasps. 

"...we have to take you to the hospital for your injuries."

I could not respond. I was frozen in my place here, next to him. The world seemed wrong somehow. Like it just lost something wonderful. Something beautiful.

"Edward," that was Jasper, "there's signs of a fight on top of the mountain and the smell of blood."

That's right, i thought. I can't just stop here, can I. I have to lie now. I have to cover up the trail. Quiet their suspicions. Edward trusts me. I can lie to him easy. So easy.

I closed my eyes and let out a gut wrenching sob that i was trying hard to hold back. I gasped and held my breathe to stop myself. I can't break yet.

Edward's cold hand touched my shoulder, gently. I only made unintelligible grunts and wheezes. 

"Isabella, I'm going to pick you up, now."

"Simon..." i muttered.

"We'll burn the body."

I shook my head and another painful sob broke through.

 I can't break. What would all of this have been for if i just break like this? What would the point have been? What would he have died for?... but what a stupid way to have died! For me... for someone who will vanish soon... i shouldn't have stayed in that protective circle. I should have moved. I should have pulled off a Bella, at least that...

"We'll make it look like an accident," Alice suggested, "he's only half vampire. So he won't come back from this."

"Alice," Edward scolded.

"Sorry."

Rosalie squatted down next to me. Her cold hand brushed hair out of my face. She flinched at the sight of me. I can imagine it. I've been curled up with a bloody corpse for what felt like forever. 

"I know it's hard when you lose someone you love... but we don't have the luxury to just mope about it right now... I'm going to carry you now," Rosalie declared, "and you're going to let yourself and you're going to deal with this and you will heal in time... okay?"

I let go of Simon. The effort of doing so was a struggle within itself. A final goodbye. A forever goodbye... I'll join him soon, i thought. Once i vanish into the Ether... I'll join him then and hope that I'll never return.

Rosalie lifted me up as carefully as she could.  I grit my teeth and inhaled when my body was in pain but the physical pain was so tiny... so minuscule to seeing the other vampires take the body.