34: Maybe Someday Soon

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The dark blue sky is clouded and it looks as if tiny stars are falling to earth

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The dark blue sky is clouded and it looks as if tiny stars are falling to earth. I've always loved watching it snow. How the flakes seem to dance in the air, landing with effortless grace on the solid ground. Snow, to me, is the most creative form of water, especially with how each one is an intricate design. It's like people. Generally, we're all the same but when you look close enough, delve deep and take the time to genuinely learn about each other, you'll see that all of us are created uniquely, we are not a one in a million.

We are one of a kind.

My dress absorbs the cold and it clings to me as all of us bridesmaids stand outside the white chapel. Rach, Lex, Georgie, and I wait for Addie. She had asked for a moment and glided away before the ceremony started.

My eyes search for Addie until I spot her standing by a big weeping willow tree, whose leaves have been long gone. She stares up at it, but I know it's not the tree she's looking at from under her mascaraed lashes, but the moon. It's whitish glow gleams as it tries to peak out from the snow clouds.

Snow softly falls around Addie, her dress laying elegantly against her body. Translucent pieces of her lace sleeves shine as tiny drops of snow land on sections of it. Her cheeks and nose are bitten by the cold, taking on that chilled red. And it makes her all the more breathtaking.

A piece of baby's breath starts to fall out of her low bun as Addie continues to look straight up at the moon. I remember her looking at it the same way before she was about to perform her first dance for Quinn.

Rach glances at me and leans over. "I think you should go talk to her. I would but you know I'm not great with these things. You always say the right thing."

I nod, picking up my dress and stride to where Addie is. My heels click on the sidewalk and I stop once I reach her.

Addie takes a deep breath, slowly blowing it out through her nose. "I'm sorry. I'm just so... overwhelmed."

"It's okay to be," I reply. "This is a big moment for you."

She keeps her eyes on the moon. "The thing about OCD is that it's really easy to get bombarded, to feel like your drowning, especially when change is about to come."

My chest tightens and my blood starts pumping faster. "Are you having second thoughts?"

Addie licks her red lips and then, something she hasn't done for months now ignites, she robotically blinks a bunch of times.

Her ticks.

After the burst she sucks in a deep breath, closing her eyes. "No, it's just that... I like things a certain way and it's not about perfection. If one coaster is not where it should be I can't move on until it's where it needs to be."

"Addie I'm not understanding."

Her big doe green eyes finally grace me and they're filled with self-doubt. "I'm about to crash into Quinn's life and I don't think he really knows what that entails. It's one thing to see my obsessive behavior, it's another thing to live with it."

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