The Wizard and The Prince

03

"Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth" Bilbo, irritated as ever, said, snatching the item away from Nori. 

"But it's full of holes" Bofur commented as Bilbo walked passed him with the doily.

Bilbo stopped in front of him and opened up the doily "It's supposed to look like that. It's crochet"

Bofur nodded "And a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it"

Bilbo sighed in frustration and tossed the doily into a random cupboard "Be bother and confusticate these Dwarves!" he mumbled to himself in frustration as he rubbed his temples.

Just then, Gandalf walked in, glancing down at the Hobbit "My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" 

Bilbo looked up at him with shock and anger, following him as he walked through his kitchen "What's the matter? I'm surrounded by Dwarves. What are they doing here?"

Gandalf ignored his previous question as he answered "Oh, they're quite a merry gathering once you get used to them" 

Bilbo sarcastically chuckled and started to push on Gandalf "I don't want to get used to them. Look at the state of my kitchen. There's mud trod into the carpet. They've pillaged the pantry. I won't tell you what they've done in the bathroom. They've all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in my house!" Bilbo rambled in frustration to Gandalf right up to his front door, stopping for a short breather as Ori walked up to him, plate in hand.

"Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should i do with my plate?" he asked innocently, slightly nudging the plate twords Bilbo.

"Here you go, Ori. Give it to me" Fili told the younger as he walked past, grabbing the plate from his hand. He turned to the left and tossed the plate to his brother, who cought it and chucked it at Bifur, who cought the plate, before catching another one. 

Bilbo watched in panic as his plates flew across the dining room "Take that back. Excuse me. That's my mothers West Farthing pottery! It's over a 100 years old!" 

His words, however, didn't get noticed by the Dwarves, and soon enough, the one's at the table began to clash their forks and knifes together "And can you not do that? You'll blunt them"

"Ohh. Do you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knifes" Bofur spoke, making somewhat fun of Bilbo's words, continuing to do what they were doing. 

~Bend the knifes, bend the forks~

~Smash the bottles and bum the corks~ 

~Chip the glasses and crack the plates~

~That's what Bilbo Baggins hates~ 

The Dwarves sang as they tossed plates around and clashed forks and knifes together.

~Cut the cloth, tread on the fat~ 

~Leave the bones on the bedroom mat~

~Pour the milk on the pantry floor~

~Splash the wine on every door~

~Dump the crooks in a boiling bowl~ 

~Pound them up with a thumping pole~

~When you're finished, if they are whole~ 

~Send them down the hall to roll~

Gandalf stood on the side with his pipe, watching very amusingly as everything was getting done.

~That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!~