Riverview School For Girls [GxG]

twenty nine

Dr Lloyd's office was small and windowless. His desk was piled high with books, folders, and loose sheets of paper. There were empty coffee cups amongst the mess, and forgotten food wrappers, poking out from beneath mountains of unmarked essays. He sat behind his cluttered desk, cautiously watching Willow, "Do you like chocolate?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"Sure." Willow nodded stiffly. Her face was pink, eyes puffy, and cheeks stained with tears. She looked down at her lap, fidgeting with her hands.

Dr Lloyd rummaged through a disorganised drawer, eventually producing a box of unopened chocolates. He ripped the lid open, and offered the box to Willow, "David-" He stopped himself abruptly, "Coach Mitchell got them for me for Valentine's Day." He explained, "Heaven knows why... I haven't got a sweet tooth. I haven't had one in all the sixteen years I've known him."

Willow's eyes widened in surprise, "Sixteen years?" She echoed.

He smiled fondly, leaning back in his chair, "Half my lifetime."

Willow reached for one of the chocolates, and slipped it past her lips. Her gaze fell to a framed photograph of Dr Lloyd and Coach Mitchell, both smiling with a brightness Willow had never seen in either of them before. "How did you meet?" She asked - she knew it was invasive, but she couldn't help herself.

"At school." Dr Lloyd told her, "He was on the rugby team - I used to watch him practice everyday, and eventually, he noticed me."

Willow smiled softly, "That's really sweet."

Dr Lloyd twisted his engagement ring around his finger absentmindedly, "I'm lucky to have him." He smiled weakly, then took a deep breath, "Are you okay, Willow?"

She gulped, and shifted in her seat nervously, "Yeah." She nodded.

"We put a lot of pressure on you girls." He said guiltily, his eyes flicking to her prefect badge, "If the stress ever overwhelms you-"

"It's not that." She corrected him hastily, "I mean...it is, sometimes. All the school work, hockey training, my prefect duties..." She sighed, "It's a lot. But I can handle it."

He raised a brow sceptically, "I would hate to see you burn out."

"I won't burn out." She offered him an encouraging smile.

He watched her carefully, then started to nod, "Okay." He picked up a pencil on his desk and started fiddling with it distractedly, "So, what's going on?"

She pushed her glasses up her nose, refusing to meet Dr Lloyd's gaze, "It's nothing." She promised, "I had an argument with a friend."

"I see." He hummed, "You seemed quite upset."

She shrugged noncommittally. She decided she didn't like talking about herself. She felt too exposed, too vulnerable, too pathetic. "I think...I think that she has a point." Willow admitted, "My friend...she was right. Everything she said was true. And I just...I mean...what are you meant to do when you lose an argument?"

"I find that apologising usually helps." He suggested.

"I'm not sure that it will be enough." She said heavily. Her eyes flicked back to the photo of Dr Lloyd and Coach Mitchell, and a smile tugged at her lips, "Is it hard?" She asked abruptly, "Being in a relationship? Being in..." She hesitated, "Being in love?"

He rose his brows questioningly, "This friend...?" He pressed, "Is she...more than a friend?"

She shook her head quickly, "No, she's not." She replied, "But someone else is. Another girl who I..." Her voice grew thick again, "It's not easy - being like...like this. It would be so much easier if I could just date one of the village boys."

"Willow." Dr Lloyd's eyes were softer than she had ever seen them, "You can't help who you..." He sighed, "There's no shame in it."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, "So, how come you went along with it?" She asked, her voice sharper than she had intended for it to be, "Why did you listen to her? Miss Burke?" She challenged, "Why did you hide your relationship?"

He seemed to expect Willow's question. His expression didn't change. "Because I'm like you, Miss Chambers." He replied evenly, "I follow the rules. I do what I'm told." He said, "I did it because I thought it would make my life easier."

Willow resented Dr Lloyd's comparison, because she refused to believe that they were anything alike. "And did it?" She pressed, "Did it make your life easier?"

"You already know the answer to that." He smiled sadly, "Of course it didn't. I should have listened to Dav-Coach Mitchell-all along. He didn't want to follow Miss Burke's instructions. He's braver than me. He always has been. He was a bit of a troublemaker in school, much like your...uh...your friend...Miss Kiani?"

Willow paled, her eyes trained on her lap, "I would have done the same." She eventually said, so quietly that her voice was almost a whisper, "If I was in your position, I would have done the same. And Jordan...Jordan would have told Miss Burke to go fuck herself." Her eyes widened once she realised what she had said, "I'm so sorry." She apologised quickly, a blush rising in her cheeks, "I didn't mean to swear-"

"It's alright." Dr Lloyd chuckled, and Willow realised that that was the first time she had ever heard the man laugh, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't repeat this, but Coach Mitchell did, in fact, tell Miss Burke to go fuck herself." There was a twinkle in his eyes; pride. "Along with a host of other colourful swear words I fear your ears are too young to hear."

Willow laughed, "I don't doubt it."

Dr Lloyd glanced down at his watch, "My lesson is about to start." He said, "Will you be alright?"

She nodded, and for the first time since she entered his office, she realised that she would be alright. "Yes." She nodded, "Thank you."

"Run along now." He stood up, and ushered her towards the door, "I'd appreciate it if you weren't late for my lesson." He joked.

She smiled gratefully, "Bye, Dr Lloyd."

She left his office, and as she walked down the cold stone corridors, she attempted to fix her hair, and straighten her skirt. She needed to look presentable, she needed to look like she hadn't just been crying, like she hadn't just spent her morning in a teacher's office. She needed to look like she was okay.

When she reached the History classroom, she found her friends huddled around the door, chatting amongst themselves. When her eyes landed on Jordan, she froze.

Jordan had shaved her head.

"You like it?" Jordan grinned, passing a hand over her bare head, where all that remained was a bristle of short black hair.

Willow nodded, a bright smile stretching across her face, "I love it." She touched Jordan's head, feeling Jordan's skull beneath her fingertips. It suited Jordan. With her finely chiselled bone structure, her high cheekbones, her sharp jawline - Jordan didn't need hair. "I really love it."

"I hope Burke likes it as much as you." Jordan teased.

Willow rose her brows, "Is that why you did it? To piss her off?"

"Nah." Jordan shook her head, "I've wanted to shave my head for a while now. But I sure am excited to see the bitch's face. If it's anything like my Dad's face when he saw what I had done-" She started to laugh, "Oh, it will be fucking priceless."

Willow laughed too, "Well, at least your uniform is up to code." She scanned Jordan up and down; her tie was in place, her shirt was tucked in, her skirt was the appropriate length.

"Well, yeah. I know how precious that badge is to you." She shrugged, "I already told you - I'm not gonna be the reason it's taken away."

Willow touched the silver badge. Recently, it had grown heavier, and harder to wear. Every evening, she got back to her dorm room, took the badge off, and felt the tension immediately leave her body. And every morning, when she put it back on, the tension came back.

She thought, for the first time ever, that getting her badge taken away wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.