Mending Broken Hearts

22. Just You

April 2020

Madiha

April 1: Everyone Thinks They're Right About Masks (The Atlantic)

Does the coronavirus travel through the air? If so, how far can it travel? Experts say the answers to these questions are complicated and studies are inconclusive. To find answers, "you'd have to expose animals to different quantities of airborne viruses, see if they get infected, and relate that to measures of the virus [in places] where people are infected," said epidemiologist William Hanage. "This is the type of stuff people will work on for years, but no one is going to find out for the moment." As for whether people should be wearing masks, Hanage said they could potentially stop those with COVID-19 from infecting others, but data is limited. "We're trying to build the plane while we're flying it," he said. "We're having to make decisions with quite massive consequences in the absence of secure data. It's a nightmare for your average cautious public-health professional."

I sat in the conference room reading an article Omar had shared, and shook my head at the text message that followed.

Omar: Thank God we live in a liberal city. My classmate in Florida was verbally abused on the subway for wearing a mask on his way to work 🤦‍♂️

Me: People on the subway here aren't that nice either.

I instantly realized I shouldn't have texted him that. It didn't even take him 30 seconds to call me with worry lacing his muffled voice through an N95. He was on the COVID ward these days.

"Did someone say something to you, Madi? Tell me the truth," he insisted, leaving me no choice but to relay the close call I had that morning on my train ride into work.

It had started off as any other train ride since the beginning of the pandemic. I was the only passenger who got on at my train station and the first few stops went by with only one other person getting on. Like me he too wore a mask. I was in my scrubs. Him in his Chicago Transit Authority uniform. He said 'Hello', I nodded and we sat in silence several seats apart, till three stops later when a burly man, tattoos up his arms, cigarette in his hand walked in. Without a mask on.

"Let me guess, you told him to stop smoking and put a mask on," Omar said, and I could imagine him slapping his forehead.

"What was I to do? It is mandatory to wear masks indoors and you can't smoke in a train. He was breaking not one but two laws."

"I know, Madi. But when you're alone you need to be more careful and not pick fights. Please tell me you're ok."

"Yes, yes. He just swore at me, and called me a brainwashed libtard who was faking this whole COVID thing just to suppress American freedom. I just felt bad for that Black CTA worker. He tried to stop the man and instead got spit on."

We both got off at the next stop, and caught another train. But listening to a anti-science racist tirade when you've been putting your life at risk every day is a horrible way to start off your day. And as Omar pointed out, I didn't need any extra tension in my day.

"That's it. I am picking you up on the days I am not on overnight call."

I tried to argue, "You barely get any sleep as it is. You'll have to get up even earlier if you come to pick me up from the suburbs."

He quietly replied, "You think I'll be able to sleep knowing you have to ride the train with idiots?"

My heart fluttered at the concern in his voice. Only he could care so much about a mere train ride while standing in the COVID ward surrounded by death and despair. I prided on being an independent woman. But the safety his presence offered was far too tempting. Besides I missed seeing him everyday.