11|| revelling in the pain

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TW: Brief mentions of SH. There will be a '⚠️' at the beginning and end.

A/N: I was too lazy to edit this...Sorry not sorry.

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I am woken up by the unpleasant sound of my phone ringing. I ignore it for a moment when I realize an arm is wrapped around my torso. All the memories from last night begin to come back and I couldn't help but smile. Although, that smile didn't last long as my phone began ringing again. I gently stirred out of Billie's arms, reaching for my phone.

I rolled my eyes as I saw it was my father calling. I would have just ignored it but I know that he won't stop calling until I answer. "Hello," I muttered out as I sat up, stretching my neck.

"Ember, I owe you a big apology," he sighed. Huh? "Can you please come home as soon as possible so we can talk things through?"

Billie began to stir as I answered him. "I guess so."

"Thank you," he spoke softly.

"Yeah, bye." I hung up, running a hand through my messy hair.

"Who was that?" Billie rasped out in her morning voice. Fuck, I've never heard her morning voice and it's somehow adorable but also sexy as hell.

"My father," I scoffed.

"Oh," she raised a brow, "so he's talking to you now?"

"I guess," I shrugged. As she stretched her arms, she gently pushed me back down onto the pillow. She pulled me close to her, making me giggle under her touch.

"I need you to drive me home," I told her. I watched her face as she closed her eyes again, pretending to snore but failing at it due to a smile on her lips. I rolled my eyes playfully because she's just so damn cute. "Or I can just uber home."

That got her and her eyes quickly widened as she grabbed me again. "No, no! I'll drive you, just give me a minute to process being awake."

I nodded my head, leaning onto her chest but soon a set of paws crawled up in between us, breaking our cuddling fest. "Aw baby," Billie cooed, petting Shark's head. "Are you hungry?" She questioned, causing Sharks tail to wag.


After the both of us had changed and Sharky had been fed, Billie brought me back home. I won't lie, I wanted nothing to do with whatever my father had to say to me but I knew things would only get worse if I didn't listen to him.

So, here I am, stepping back into the house after saying goodbye to Billie, which by the way, made me way sadder than it probably should have. Closing the door behind myself, I brace for whatever I'm about to be told however, that all changes when my father walks up towards me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Ember, thank you for coming home. We need to have a talk but there's an emergency at work that I need to tend to, so we will talk tonight," he rushes out, placing a kiss on my forehead before walking out the front door.

What the fuck? I mean, what the actual fuck? I don't think he's ever kissed me and honestly, I wish he hadn't. I wipe the spot his lips met my skin, letting out an annoyed scoff. I could have spent the whole day with Billie but here I am... Also, what kind of fucking emergency is there at a gym?

I'm frustrated and downright angry. Here I am once again alone in this goddamn house that's decorated to the nines. All alone with no one to speak to, no one to do anything with. I'm sick and fucking tired of being so alone. ⚠️There's only one thing I know how to do. It's destructive and I know it's not healthy but what else am I do to right now? How else do I take out the frustration of being lonely? Take out the frustration of my parents? I don't know any other way. Maybe if my parents cared enough to put me into therapy I'd have other ways to cope, but alas, they didn't, and they won't. So, here I am, bleeding out into my bathroom sink. Revelling in the pain of loneliness and self-hatred.⚠️





A small knock on my door causes me to save the work on my laptop before calling out a 'come here.' Elodie peaks her head into my room, a small smile on her face. "Hey," I give her a fake smile. I don't want to ever worry her.

"Mom and dad are too busy to take me to the mall, can you?" She questions in a small voice.

"Not right now Elodie," I sigh, looking back at my laptop screen.

"Okay," she practically whispers, turning back around.

"Wait," I call out. "Have you eaten dinner already?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll take you," I agree, watching the smile grow on her face. As much as I want to sit here writing and wallowing in my own self-pity, I don't know how long I'll be in this house and I want to be there for Elodie. There were a million times I wanted to go to the mall as an 11-year-old but of course, my parents were never around.

Hoping in my car, I wait until Elodie is buckled up before turning on 'wish you were gay' and speeding down the streets. I have a car, but I never use it, because where would I take it to? It costs money to drive around and I don't have a job. It's sorta just in case of emergencies, but Elodie is my priority right now.





"You're getting all of that?" My eyes widen at the body washes, body mists, and candles in Elodie's hands.

"Yes," she giggles. "I saved up my allowance!"

"You get an allowance?" I furrow my brows.

"Of course. Don't you?"

"Nevermind, let's just pay and go." Holy shit, my little sister is way richer than me. I never got an allowance. I roll my eyes as I stand beside her while she pays for her items. The cashier smiles up at me as she scans the items, "I love your hair," she smirks with a mischievous look.

"Thanks," I mumble, feeling a slight blush on my cheeks.

"Have a good day girls," the cashier says as we walk off with Elodie's hundreds of bath and body works items.

"Where to next?" I ask her as we continue walking through the mall.

"There's a movie I've been wanting to see," she smiles up at me.

"Yeah? Let's do it."

With the little amount of money in my bank account, I purchased us two tickets to see the movie and some popcorn. I truly don't know why I haven't done this before. Elodie is so sweet and genuinely fun to be around.

Once we had our snacks we headed into the theatre and sat in the very back row, as per Elodie's request. We joked around, taking a few selfies as the previews played but once the real movie began playing, I couldn't stop thinking about one person in particular. Billie.

Never in a million years did I think Billie Eilish would invite me into her house, or cuddle me, or call me beautiful... Wild things happen I guess.

I heard a phone start ringing and realize quickly that it was my phone. I quickly grab it and answer it not bothering to check who it was since people were already starting to look in my direction. "Hello?" I whisper.

"ARE YOU WITH ELODIE? WHERE IS MY ELODIE? EMBER YOU BETTER KNOW WHERE ELODIE IS!" I had to hold the phone away from my ear as my mother shouted at full volume.

"Mom, relax, she's with me. We are watching a movie. Would you please-"

"And you didn't think to tell me you were taking her out?" She snaps.

"She said you and dad were too busy to take her to the mall so I took he-"

"We will have a talk when you get home. She better come home safe," she stated dramatically, cutting me off again.

"Yes mother," I scoffed before hanging up. Elodie mouths an 'I'm sorry,' and I give her a smile, throwing my hand over her shoulders, reaching into the popcorn on her lap.

It's always about Elodie... Make sure Elodie is safe. Make sure Elodie has everything. Take care of Elodie blah blah blah. Why can it never be about me?

~~~

A/N: Hate this

Words: 1405

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