Kiralik Ask One-shots

Part Three: Lost & Found

Note: Hi guys. This is the last part of the Lost series. Enjoy!

Omer was still reeling from the shock two days later. He knew when went to Italy, leaving his new wedded bride sitting on their wedding bed, crying her heart out; that he was ending it. For good this time. What he didn't know was the extent of his love for her. Even after knowing the truth and how it all started, he had no concerns or questions about Defne's love for him. He always believed it to be true. But what he didn't realise at that time was, that without her life wouldn't be worth living. The food he used to enjoy having before, felt like sand in his mouth. The joy he used to get while drawing designs for Passionis, he seldom felt the same joy now. If he was honest with himself, he felt nothing apart from this deep sense of betrayal from the people he trusted and loved. Hefelt this red-hot anger coursing through his veins, all the time. It was like he was burning in the hell, his family created for him. After the first month, it felt so difficult to survive, so he started numbing himself with alcohol.

Alcohol worked to a point. But sometimes, when he was drunk, he used to get her flashes. Her standing in front of him crying, begging him to give them another chance. Her draped in her wedding dress, begging him to forgive her. So, to forget her, once and for all and move on from her, he started sleeping with women. To numb the emptiness, he still felt even after filling his body with whiskey and rum. The women were willing and like him, they didn't want anything long term. The morning after, he always felt weird and strangely guilty. His heart warring with his mind. His mind was justifying his decision to move on, while his heart bleeding all the same for the love that got away. His Albertine.

In time, he got to know life had no meaning without her. What are principles, and morals worth if he couldn't sleep peacefully in his lover's embrace, surrounded by her warmth. After his parent's left the world, he felt so alone. After some time, his loneliness became his shield. If he doesn't trust or put his faith and love in anyone, then they won't have the power to destroy him. Iz taught him that lesson he wont ever forget. Back then, when she had decided to move to Italy, he wasn't angry because she wanted to achieve something in her life, to go learn incredible things while his mom was ill. He would have been happy for her. He was angry because she kept him in dark all the time she was planning to leave. Yes, it would have hurt if she had told him before also, but the deep sense of pain he felt when he got to know from Sinan, that she is leaving without even saying goodbye, that was the first lesson he learnt as a grown-up. That he had to depend on himself and no one else. Apart from his blood, that is, his parents, he should trust no one with his heart. All his life, he had never asked or never needed anybody. His life was okay without anybody in it that could hurt him so deep he wouldn't be able to recover. He never lied to anybody, never cheated anyone because he had been on the opposite end of it long ago, and he didn't like it one bit. He lived by his principles, never needing anyone, until her. She stumbled into his life like a hurricane. And swept everything along with her. His peace of mind, his appetite, his sleep, his calm, his spirit to live life. She took everything with her. Leaving him a shell of a person. Just like when his mom and dad died.

But after so many years of feeling nothing, when he saw her face on television, he felt this sense of loss, like his heart was breaking apart at the moment. He felt a kaleidoscope of emotions churning within him. He knew at that moment that he had to go to her. At least have the conversation with her that was due for two and a half years. But he knew he also needed therapy. He suffered a trauma, and he had to sort out his emotions, because as they say time heals everything. Well, in his case, time didn't heal him, it destroyed him. Emma had helped him a lot but there was another person who had helped him put his thoughts in a perspective. When he was delaying meeting Emma, missing out on all of those appointments, he had met Pamir during one of his exhibitions. After the event, they had gone out to a local pub for drinks. For Omer, it had been too long. Both; to see a familiar face in a foreign land where he had made a home for himself and drinking alcohol.