Always. //hunter x reader//

prologue

My name is Y/N L/N Noceda i am 16 years old and all i want for you to know is that this, this is not who i am.

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I never had a stable childhood, I grew up in the messy household of two young parents who were addicted to drugs and such. I barely saw them, they were out most nights and either asleep or fighting in daylight. They stayed out of my way, didn't bother raising me.  It was probably for the best, I doubt they would have any thing worth while to pass on. 

When I was nine, in swim class a girl pointed out the bruises on my ribcage. She told our teacher.

After that I moved in with the family across the street, a sick man, his loving wife and young daughter. The Nocedas. They let me stay with them for a few years till I was a little over what happend with my parents.

When I left I was taken into foster care, I was the temporary daughter of many families. Some nice, and some simply after the money. But after two years my grandmother, who had previously said no to anything revolving me decided to pay for my enrollment in a private boarding school so I could stay there till I was a legal adult and had to take care of myself. 

I hated it, no one wanted me there and absolutely no one believed  I would ever amount to anything. At first I tried to prove them all wrong, I studied a lot and got good grades. But a lot of people accused me of cheating, and Y'know after a certain number of people tell you your'e awful at everything including being a human you start to believe them.  And I believed them.

So I stopped trying. I spent my days partying, at the ripe age of fifteen I was out getting drunk every night.  And that's where I made my friends. Very many of them, young vulnerable and stupid. People that would all eventually become people like my parents, including me. And I hated it, I hated being so useless, so I drank it all away till I could only remember anything days later. 

There was a girl, a girl who's name I till this day can't remember. I moved in with her, slept on her floors and danced in her showers. She was my age, maybe a year or two older. But she was so different from all the other people I talked to.  So sweet and hopeful. She told me everything about herself.  

She grew up in a big white house with a large garden and a swing over looking a meadow. She was an only child but had a dog she saw as her brother. 

Her mom and dad loved her. But their love wasn't unconditional.  She liked girls, and they didn't like that. So they gave her a choice, get out or get fixed. 

And she got out. 

But it wasn't what she expected. She left and was welcomed with a low income job and an apartment filled with rats and cracked windows. She spent her days staring at the ceilings of her her chipped painted bedroom. And her nights were out with me drinking. 

But she never stopped believing, that one day everything would be okay.  And she made me believe in the same thing. I suppose that's what made it hurt so much when she stopped believing, laying on the floor with no heartbeat. I found her.

I decided id become okay for her sake. 

It was hard, I was spiraling a few galaxies away from okay. I couldn't even feel or understand what was wrong with me. I wasn't myself, I was barely a person.

But I traveled from my planet to the one where I was. And I found myself and I clutched onto her with all my might. And when I had myself  I found out how to become okay.

So I became okay.

After that I had to figure out what feeling better than okay was like. So I quit school, told my Grandma to fuck off and hitched a ride to Connecticut. 

Hours later I was outside an all to familiar door, knocking and crying. Until the door was opened and I finally had a shoulder to cry on.

Authors note-

FYI It gets better after i few chapters i promise, around the first two chapters i was kind of just winging it and writing as i go, but later on i actually made a plan for how i wanted the story to go :)