Can't Save Me

Madeline

"Maddie. Maddie, baby, come on. Wake up, sweetheart."

I groaned and stretched my arms over my head as I, very hesitantly, opened my eyes. The bright sun was already high in the sky, lighting up Grant's giant master bedroom through the wall of ceiling high windows. "What time is it?" I asked, trying to blink away the morning brain fog.

"Almost nine," Grant said softly, his fingertips brushing away the hair that had clung to my face in the middle of the night. "Come on, sleepyhead. I made breakfast."

I heaved a sigh as his gorgeous frame finally came into clear view. He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of black joggers and house slippers. He was freshly showered and smelled like the ocean breeze. He looked like he'd already been awake for hours and tackled more tasks than I was even ready to acknowledge. "How long have you been up?" I asked groggily, narrowing my gaze at him.

"Since about seven," he answered, sitting on the edge of the bed, next to my legs.

"Do you even know how to sleep in?"

Grant chuckled. "Seven is sleeping in for me, babe."

"And you say I'm the weirdo," I teased. My eyes finally settled on the chest piece I'd only caught glimpses of thus far into our 'relationship.' What I previously thought was a single lion, was in fact a male lion, a lioness and two cubs that took up his entire left peck and then some. It was all black and grey but looked like a painting. You could almost see the brush strokes. "This is beautiful," I said softly, tracing the tip of my index finger along some of the bolder lines of ink.

Grant looked down as if he didn't know what was on his own chest and let out a soft laugh. "Thank you. Gwen used to call me her Lion, so..."

"So, it's you family," I finished. Grant just nodded; obviously lost in some memories that I'd probably never fully understand. "I love that." We both remained silent for a few seconds as I continued tracing my fingers over his tattoos. His left arm was completely covered, different bits and pieces I'm sure he'd collected across the world. It was like a story, HIS story, and I wanted to hear all of it. I wanted him to tell me everything he'd ever done. I wanted to listen so I could understand this man. So I could know all of him, even the broken bits.

"You miss her, don't you?" I watched Grant's Adam's apple bob and he hesitated to answer. "It's okay, Grant. You're allowed to hurt. It won't upset me."

His chest heaved under my fingertips as he sighed. "I do. Some days more than others, but I miss her on some level every day. Grief is a weird fucking thing."

"Yeah it is. I feel the same about my dad. Some days it feels like it happened forever ago and some days it feels like yesterday he was here."

Grant gave me a sad smile and wrapped his hand around mine, still placed on his chest. "I wish he was here for you."

I smiled a bit and sighed. "Do you think you'd be together now if she hadn't..."

He shrugged, still holding my hand but bringing it down to his thigh. "I don't know. I never wanted the divorce, but she didn't want to be married anymore. I just... I wanted her to be happy and that wasn't going to happen with me still in the Marines and I couldn't just leave,  so..."

"So you were willing to let her go." Grant gulped and nodded his head as I finished his sentence. I sat up and shifted, wrapping my arms tightly around his midsection and pressing a kiss to his collarbone. "You're a good man, Grant Devereaux."

He fought a smile as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and squeezed. "Thank you, Maddie."

I tipped my head back, gazing at his handsome face while I affectionately stroked a hand against his stubble covered cheek. He was such a gorgeous man, all strong angles and sharp bone structure with just the right amount of gruffness. He was all man, from skin to soul. I was pretty sure if you looked up the definition of the word 'man,' his photo would probably pop up, but his heart was just the right amount of soft, and it made me adore him even more. Every second, every little bit he opened up, I got to see the real beauty inside of him. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."