Can't Save Me

Grant

Two weeks later and my self-control was fraying more with every passing second. And honestly, I think Maddie's patience was too. We'd seen each other every single day since our first date and almost every  time we hung out ended up with her straddling my lap and my hands exploring every inch of her silken skin. However, the second it'd get to the point of her hands starting to 'explore' in return, I'd stop her. I'd either try to slow things down or take charge and flip things so that I was the one making the journey. She'd never once gotten her hands on me, or at least not on my member, and I think it was starting to piss her off. Hell, it was pissing me off to at this point, too. Jerking off in the shower had definitely lost every ounce of its shine.

Things were getting hot in heavy in Madeline's bedroom on the night before her club 'vacation' ended. We'd had dinner with Lydia, played a game, watched a movie, and by the middle of the second movie, Lydia was sawing lumber, so we very quietly excused ourselves upstairs. However, the second things got heated and her adept fingers started curling around the waistband of my boxers, I snatched her hand away and she let out a grumble of nothing but pure frustration.

"What is going on?" she asked, not just pulling her hand away, but her entire body. The room felt about fifty degrees colder instantaneously. "Do you not want this? Do you not want me to touch you? Am I that gross or something?"

I gave her a flat stare before nodding my head toward the obvious... excitement beneath the thin layer of cotton in my lap. "I think it speaks for itself, don't you?"

"Then why do you constantly push me away?" Madeline asked, grabbing the shirt she'd stolen from me off the floor and pulling it over her head. She huffed a bit and leaned against the headboard, arms folded over her round breasts, with her plush bottom lip jutting out just a bit. If she hadn't been mad at me, I would've told her how fucking adorable she looked in that moment, but it didn't seem like the most opportune time.

"Baby," I soothed, running a hand down one of her bare legs, grateful she didn't pull away from me. "It's not you, I promise."

"I don't even believe you anymore," Maddie pouted, either staring at her legs or the bed, I couldn't really tell. I just knew her eyes were definitely not on me.

"Maddie..."

"No! You like... reject me over and over again, every time we start messing around. The second I try to get handsy, it's game over," Madeline continued as I noticed tears welling in the corners of her dark eyes. I hadn't realized just how much my avoidance was bothering her. I'd gotten her off a handful of times at this point, and I kind of thought she'd maybe just forget she hadn't returned the favor. Evidently, that wasn't the case. "A girl can only take so fucking much before she starts to think it's her."

"It's not, baby. I swear it's not."

"Then tell me what's going on because I'm starting to feel like you think I'm a troll or something."

"Stop it," I commanded. I shifted so I was sitting beside her and tugged her rigid body into me. "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, Madeline. You know that. I tell you that all the time." I pressed my lips to the side of her head. "You're the furthest thing from a fucking troll, and you know it."

"Then what's wrong?"

"There's something I need to tell you," I began, pressing my lips to her temple, "and... it's not... easy to talk about."

Madeline gave me a bit of an eye roll and bobbed her head impatiently. "I had the birds and the bees talk with my parents like twenty years ago, so..."

"Alright, Smart Ass," I chuckled. "That's not..." I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, trying to center myself. I had to tell her. If I backtracked on her now, it would only make things worse, and I did NOT want to make things worse. "Okay, so like... fifteen years ago, I was in an accident on base that damn near blew me in half."