You're My Bliss.

Twenty One: Last Breath.

Dahir's POV.

"Colon Cancer?"

Malik nods.
After the doctors rushed Abba into a room and thankfully he had stabilized, I started hyperventilating and rushed out to stabilize my breathing. Malik was just arriving, he seemed worried and bothered but not surprised so I asked and apparently he knew.

My father has colon cancer.
And Malik has known for over a year.
I'm glad he did because if he hadn't caught him back then he would have gone through all that alone, at least he had his son with him.

But how didn't I notice it?
Why was I too wrapped up in a pointless relationship when my father was suffering?

"Don't blame yourself"
"He's my father, I should have noticed something was wrong"

"Not even his wife did" Malik says.
"Mami had never been someone who notices things" I huff "He wanted it this way, he didn't want you living the last days on his life in pain. He didn't want you to look at him broken and sad that he'd leave. He wanted you all to laugh and smile without worrying about his health, that was what he wanted. He didn't want to spend his last days watching as his children walked on eggshells around him"

I nod.
"That sounds like something he'd say" I huff "Let's go back in".

::

The doctor said we shouldn't all go in at once, thankfully at once so we waited while his wife went in first.

She comes out crying heavily, Laura immediately jumps to her feet and wraps her arms around her, consoling her.

"He—he wants to see you" she says sobbing.
I huff and enter.

He was lying down, his eyes barely open and his breathing, shallow.
It was heartbreaking seeing him that way.

"Are you—just going to stand there?" He asks.
I take a deep breath and walk deeper inside the room, sitting on the chair beside his bed.

"Don't beat yourself up" he says.
He looked so pale, I really didn't know how to feel. The doctor said there's a possibility he might not make it through the night but seeing him like this, it's devastating.

My eyes were already getting teary.
I huff, blinking the tears away.

"You can cry if you want to"
I sigh "I need to be strong for my mother, my sisters and brothers as well" I huff "You should have told me"

"I knew you'd say that but I wanted you to be happy, not sad and depressed that your father might die at any given moment".
I nod "But still—I would have been there"

"You have your life to live"
I stay quiet.
"You live your life lost and confused, but in the end, you live your life with certain people who complete you, who guide you, who bring out the best version of you—of you even if you don't know it for yourself—And no matter how much you close yourself in, there will always be some people who makes you feel as if you're not alone—as if—as if you have someone with you, because ultimately, you do. And it's beautiful how you go through the fire with these certain people no matter how much—it hurts. You rely on their trust and rely on yours, and to be honest, there's nothing more satisfying than that. That—that alone makes this lonely life worth living and that's all I have to say about that"

I nod "I know but you didn't live that way, you have a lot of people who love and cherish you".

He takes a deep breath "People are different Dahir. You're different from me. You don't bother about people who don't bother about you but giving to other people is what makes me feel alive—Not my car or my house, not what I look like in the mirror. When I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling sad, it's as close to healthy as I ever feel. Dahir, do the kind of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll—be overwhelmed with what comes back"

I smile.
Even in this condition he wants me to be a better person, just thinking about it made my eyes tear up.

He smiles weakly "Don't cry, instead pray for me"
I nod "I always will"

His grip on my hands tighten "I'll be fine, I'll be okay"
I nod getting to my feet "The others are waiting for you outside, I'll call them in"

He nods "And no matter what, put your feelings first"
I smile "Yes, boss"

He smiles.
I send in the others when I come out.

::

Karima's POV.

I come out of the room feeling heartbroken. Seeing Abba that way was petrifying.

I made my way down the hall and found Dahir in the reception with his head buried in his palms.
I huff and sit next to him.

"Are you okay?"
He says nothing.

"Dahir?"
He huffs raising his head.
His eyes were red and puffy, he's obviously trying so hard to keep the tears in.

"Are you okay?"
He looks at me, both sad, annoyed and piqued.
He huffs "What do you want Karima?"

I look at him confused "I want to make sure that you're fine"
"Why?"

"You're in pain, I should be here for you"
He laughs sarcastically, like he was losing his mind but stops "What? You'll be here for me in this tough time, I'll confide in you and trust you and then everything passes and you still tell me you want a break?"

"This isn't the time for it"
"How isn't it? Under normal circumstances my girl should be here comforting me"

"And I'm here"
"No you're not"

"Do you know what happens to a man when a girl is with him through tough times? Do you know what it means to us? For someone who sacrifices their time and put in effort just for you, do you know what that means? It's not something so easy and we know it, we know it all too well. So you want to be a shoulder I can lean on? So you'll leave and I'll be broken? When the woman that was there for me, leaves?" He huffs, calming down "I'm not telling you that you have to accept me back, that's your choice but right now I don't need you"

"But—"
"What? Or have you changed your mind?"

I stay quiet.
"Like I said, your choice right now doesn't matter to me but with what's going on the last thing I want is to start thinking about feelings."

He gets up and walks out but I immediately follow him.
I hold his hand to stop him.

He looked worse outside under the sunlight, he looked tired, sad, broken and nettled.

"Why are you pushing me away?"
"I love you, it's nothing new and it's so evident but you're oblivious to it. I have tried my best to be there for you. You pushed me away first, and I promise you, you won't find me where you left me. My heart's big but not big enough to deal with people who decide to love me when it's convenient for them".

He walks away.

::