The New Generation

Chapter 5

Erin

"How are you doing with all of this?" Carson asked me softly, brushing his hand against mine. I quickly pulled my hand away, making sure no one saw, which made Carson laugh. "Do you really think no one knows Erin?"

I rolled my eyes and glared playfully at him, "Whatever, but um, I mean I'm pretty okay with all this. It sucks, but I think we'll be okay."

We didn't talk for a minute, watching the fire glow in front of us peacefully. Some of our team was sleeping while the rest were just sitting around the fire talking quietly to one another.

"You really think so?" Carson's eyes saddened when he asked and this time, I didn't shy away. I grabbed his hand in mine and moved closer to him.

"I'm sure she's fine." I whispered to him.

His eyes watered and I couldn't help it when mine did too. Seeing Carson so sad crushed me, I held his hand tighter about to attempt to reassure him some more but he stood up suddenly and walked away.

I rushed after him but he stopped me.

"Don't Erin. . . just don't. I need to be alone right now." He told me, continuing to walk until he was far enough away to get the solitude he wanted. We were still able to see him thankfully, but I hated that he didn't want me near him.

I sighed, taking my seat back near the fire. I don't really know what to make of Carson and I. We kiss, we cuddle, we have hot make out sessions, we talk. He's my best friend in the entire world, I would do anything for him but I can't help but feel that he's upset with me and I don't know why.

"You doing okay?" I was surprised to see it was Darcel that came over and asked me that. I haven't spoken to him much since I've met him and especially after his admission to the things he's done.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered shortly, looking back to the fire.

Darcel seemed to read my body language and was about to walk away, but I couldn't help myself.

"Before we left. . ." He stopped and turned back around to face me, taking a few steps closer. "Carson's mother, she was badly injured and. . . and she was dying. He never got to see her and none of us knows if she lived. I mean, I get that he's upset, she's his mother but I can't help but feel Carson is upset with me for leaving. Maybe he's mad at me because he thinks I could have saved her and didn't or maybe he's mad that we just left. I- Maybe I could have done something more, I shouldn't have left until I had, I don't know. . . it was just terrifying. I didn't want to leave but she kept telling me to go and I just. . . I. . ." My breathing quickened and I placed my elbows on my knees holding my head.

"I'm sorry." Darcel said, placing a gentle hand on my back. "For everything, I really am. You guys have been preparing for this your entire life and Carson's mother wanted to ensure you survived so you can win. It wasn't your fault, not at all."

I sniffed, wiping my tears away, "What if I could have saved her?"

Darcel looked at me thoughtfully, "Well, what if you could have?"

I looked at him, frowning.

"What if you couldn't?" He continued, "What if aeterians were locked away in insitutes and treated as subjects, but what if they weren't?"

I see what he was doing, "What if a crazy alien came to end the world?" I asked with a grin.

"What if he wins?" Darcel smirked.

"What if he doesn't?" I asked.

"You see? What ifs don't ever do any good. We live in the now where life has already happened and we have to learn to live with it." A few feet away, Adelaide stirred in her sleep, grimacing in what looked to be pain.